Sep 3, 2008

why i am bella swan

disclaimer: Do not read this if you have not read "Breaking Dawn" and plan to. Also, do not read this if you have no idea who Bella Swan is (it won't make sense.)

I just finished "Breaking Dawn" -the final book in the Twilight series (for those of you who ignored my disclaimer.) And I have been comparing myself to Bella all day - - I think I may have been Stephanie Meyer's inspiration for this book.

I don't survive on a diet of animal blood and live in a cottage making love to my perfect steal-abbed hunk of a husband all night (I think she added the endless sex part into the book just for the 6 men who would have actually made it through the entire Twilight series and stayed interested.) Also, I didn't go to a private island (or even scuba diving) on my honeymoon. I can't run at an astounding pace or jump over rivers. And I don't have brown eyes....or red venom filled eyes either.

But this is how we're the same:

I'm a's undeniable. And although Bella left her clutzy days behind her after the "change" I still think she's a little akward in her mind.

We both had unplanned pregnancies. Both of us were on bedrest - her pregnancy may have been slightly more dramatic. But we both gave birth to girls. In fact, we are SO similar, that we both had c-sections (luckily my Dr used a scalpel and not his teeth.)

Most importantly- and shockingly similar- we both woke up after having our unplanned baby girls looking like runway models. Amazing, I know.

It doesn't end there.

Both of our daughters have an amazing natural ability to communicate. Nessie had that cool telepathic thing going on and Cheeks mainly just uses crying. But we always know when she's's like she's painting her own mental pictures with each wail.

Also, both of our daughters like to suck the life out of things. Cheeks' hunting skills are a bit less advanced, but every time I sit down to nurse her I can feel the life draining from me.

Our daughters have more similarities as well. Like the speedy growth thing (have you seen Cheeks' double chin?) The ability to make people love her at first sight - you just can't help but adore them both. And I'm not sure about the whole being imprinted on by a werewolf thing, because we don't know any werewolves (as of yet.)

And besides the baby thing, Bella and I have even more in common. Like: she stresses a lot. I think I have that covered. And her new vampire shielding ability - - I also hate it when people try to get into my head. My amazing wardrobe....for those of you who know me, or have ever seen me, know that I dress like a fashion goddess (if that includes old t-shirts I've confiscated from my husband, and stretchy materinty jeans.)

I could go on. I had no idea Stephenie Meyer even knew who I was, but I am obviously her model of Bella. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go for a joy ride in my Ferrari with my psychic sister-in-law.

1 comment:

wonder woman said...

Hilarious! I totally get it now! I always knew I liked you......I just didn't realize it was because you're my FAVORITE person from literature EVER!!! =D