Jul 3, 2010

hair loss and mourning

I like Monkey's hair long. 

I tried to grow out Opie's hair when he was younger, but he has always had a tremendously large head, and he also has very thick wavy hair.  You pair those two together, throw in some long locks, and you've got yourself a genuinely bonified giant-head child.  So I've learned my lesson: keep Opie's hair short.

But Monkey's hair?  It's so soft, and straight (our only straight-haired child) and super super cute when it's long.  SUPER CUTE.  (Agree with me - it's my blog.) 

But not many people liked the whole long hair thing.  I kept having to threaten various family members with things like, "If I come back to find him with short hair I will DISOWN you, run away with my kids and you will never hear from us again.  EVER."  (Husband was particularly sensitive to this threat.)

However, I did say that once random strangers started referring to him as a girl, I would consider cutting it.  And even though it grew long enough to tuck behind his ears, he never kept it tucked and it was always in his eyes (which aren't doing that great post-surgery anyway.)  And since it was always hanging in his eyes he was constantly rubbing things like food, sand and play-doh in it. 

So finally I relented.

Last monday I sent the boys with their dad to Great Clips.  But I had rules about Monkey's hair, because I was still really not excited to get it cut (which is why I couldn't go with him - I would have probably grabbed him and run screaming from the building when the scissors came out.) 

The "Monkey Hair Cutting Rules" were as follows:

1- It still must be long (although out of his eyes.)
2- It must be shaggy - not Dennis the Menace style
3- Pictures MUST be taken.

Here is a before picture:

 In my defense, Husband only combed one side of his head before leaving the house.  Mostly because he had dinner smeared into the other side.  But still - the messy hair - NOT MY FAULT.

Husband KNEW the rules before he left the house.  And he even called while Monkey was sitting in the chair with scissors poised at his head.

And yet, this was the end result:

WHAT KIND OF HAIRCUT IS THAT?!!!!  Honestly? We paid money for this.

As soon as they got home Monkey came running up to me, very proud of getting a "real" haircut.  So I had to tell him how awesome he looked and how I was so happy that he got his hair cut and blah blah gush gush. 

Really I was cringing and dying a little on the inside.

And the next morning I grabbed my scissors and did what I could to salvage his head.

See here (I call this the Granola Girl haircut - the all natural, requires no effort, little girl, must include the straight across the forehead bangs haircut.)

Do you see it swooshing in the back?   He's a boy, people. A BOY.  Stupid haircutting lady - HE'S A BOY.

 And there you have it - the finished, I still hate it, haircut.  So much for haircutting rules and keeping it long and trying not to look like Dennis the Menace.

And so, to everyone who told me to cut his hair: ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!!!

Because I'm not.  I'm mourning the loss of his hair.  It was such awesome hair.  I loved that hair.  I miss his hair. 

Also, I'm legally changing his name to Samson and never cutting it again.


LisAway said...

He is just SO cute. I'm not a fan of shaggy hair usually, but mostly on teenage boys and mostly when it is sort of "styled", but Monkey is really cute with that soft blonde hair. And I agree about the girlish cut. Yours looks much better. probably not as long and certainly not as shaggy as you wanted, but cute. And it'll grow out. And he'll be cooler for the summer. So it's actually good, right?

Heather said...

I don't see what is wrong with the first haircut. I thought it was cute.

Melanie J said...

Husbands should never, ever be in charge of kids' haircuts. I still have PTSD a year after I agreed to let him give our toddler a summer time hair cut. I had a bald child. BALD!

Emily said...

Awwww... I have to agree with you that the first cut was not great. But you did a great job fixing it! He looks really cute! But his long hair was cute, too. I can understand the sense of loss. What a cute kid.

Kristina P. said...

Hahahaha. You are right, it totally looks like a girl haircut. My brother took my nephew to a similar place, and they took a big chunk out of his bangs. I thought he had taken the scissors to his own hair at first.

Jen said...

Wow you did a good job fixing it. I am always depressed by haircuts, because Henry ages like 5 years each time. He's practically 20 by now. Glad you didn't have an unfortunate accident with the clippers as I have before. My poor little cancer patient.

mommabas said...

I personally LOVED his long hair! Next time, let Mimi take him in! Just bangs (that can move over to the side) and a little trim on the ends, and that's it! Jamo went through his long hair period, remember? All I asked him was to keep it trimmed to give it some shape so it wouldn't look like he hadn't had a haircut in 2 years. And then there's the summer he shaved his head for a 50-miler..........

cc said...

Wow, the difference between what they did and what you did is huge! He looks so different. I liked it long too, but you did a good job fixing it at least.

I had my own child haircutting disaster over our vacation. Did you see Audri's super cute a-line bob that I did before we left? Even though it took me forEVER to get it right, I really loved it, but then I had my aunt who's a stylist in St. George trim mine while we were down there, and then she offered to fix Madalynn's (that the hair lady at the place near Fred Meyer's botched) while I went to put Julia to bed at the hotel. I left her SPECIFIC instructions NOT to cut Audri's hair even though she knew I did it myself. But I guess I was somehow unclear, because when we picked them up, her beautiful A-line was gone!

I went totally nutso OCD and ended up cutting her hair again in the hotel bathtub at 11pm that night. So now it's SUPER short and not as great as before, and I've succeeded in making Audri totally obsessed over her hair. Sheesh. It's a good thing I can't cut my own...

The Damsel In Dis Dress said...

awww! What an adorable little Samson.

Barbaloot said...

The short hair makes him look older!! I love long hair on little kids---or big kids:) Hopefully he can grow it out quickly.

Rachel Sue said...

I totally feel for you. I have yet to cut my youngest's hair, but for the opposite reason: It is ridiculously curly and I LOVE it. I can't bring myself to do it. I know it will have to happen one day, but I will put it off as long as possible.

And that first haircut? That is why I refuse to pay money for my children's haircuts. You did a much better job.

RhondaLue said...

The sidebar pic of him with the long hair is SOOooOO cute..but I'm with you, once people start mistaking him for a girl it's time to cut it before he's traumatized!

Sidenote: There was a kid that moved to my school in 6th grade who had the name Shawn.(I knew girl shawns and boy shawns so that didn't tell me if it was a boy or girl) and this "person" had longish blonde hair framed around "it's" face, CURLED IN even. Found out after about 3 months that shawn wasn't a girl. Nice boy, he was, but he looked like a girl. True story.

So, the haircut lady screwed up BIGTIME. I was thinking you might as well go short after that..and then you did! It looks much better now! You did a very good job fixing it!!

Loralee and the gang... said...

I love his expression in the "end result" (Great Clips) photo. Priceless...the "uh, I look cute, mommy - why are you rwellrwy mad?" look...

annie valentine said...

I always wait until my boys request short hair. Both of them were almost five. It broke my heart when Rex wanted his cut like a "big boy" last month.

And you are a freaky talented girl. I need to shop at your etsy shop.

Omgirl said...

Saw your blog title on Kristina P's giveaway and knew I had to read a blog called that. Very funny!

And I must say I'm really envious about your son's hair. My only son's hair is thick and wirey and won't lay down flat. So it won't do ANY haircut, especially long hair. Missionary haircut is all that looks good. JEALOUS!