Sep 25, 2009

doo wop doo wop

Best invention ever -for the bored and whiny 4 year old male child- Nintendo 64. Mario Kart must be included.

Except that the first few times he tried to play he kept tilting the paddle fully expecting it to turn his car like the Wii. But now he's good enough he can beat me (which actually isn't saying much, except did I mention that he's 4? I think being male gives you an advantage on video games though, no matter your age.)

I need to find a community support group that deals with night owlish-ness behavior. Kind of like AA, but for those with an addiction to not going to bed at a decent time. Maybe then I would be so horrendously tired.

I wonder what time a group like that would hold meetings. If they're after midnight then there's really point to a group is there?

Unless, of course, they have brownies at those meetings.

How long can a person ignore the demanding shrillish screams of multiple toddlers/preschoolers before they are considered evil human beings? Because I'm going on a couple years now...

I'm considering having an online (probably at etsy, we'll see) craft sale fund raiser for my bro-in-law's babies. Except I don't have much time to fill up a whole fund raiser and make it seem worth other people's time. Would anyone be willing to donate a craft or two? Something terribly fancy is a must. Ok, terribly fancy or no, anyone willing?

Also, if you want to read about the babies and their progress they have a blog: Bastow Miracle Babies

I never mentioned it, but did you know that the twins started out as triplets? One of them didn't make through the first few weeks of pregnancy. And that they had been trying for over a year to get pregnant before actually conceiving. It's a horribly tragic story. Hopefully one with a good ending. It makes me pretty grateful for my overly abundant loins and 7-9 pound babies that only had to spent weeks instead of months in the NICU.

And now I really must go put on mascara. I have an appointment with the second eye surgeon I've seen this week. (Eye surgery - totally looking forward to it.) And I have this compelling need to leave the house fully mascara'd even though I know as soon as I get there they will just insert different colors of multiple eye numbing drops that will stick to my lashes and give me raccoon eyes.

Sep 22, 2009

aliens and the devil's number

You know in the movie "Signs" where the alien is trapped in the pantry? And Mel Gibson wants to get a good look at it, so he's trying to peek under the door, but suddenly an alien claw shoots out of the crack by the floor and he has to chop it's fingers off with a big kitchen knife?

Sometimes when I'm sitting on my toilet I'm afraid an alien claw is going to shoot out at the bottom of the door and grab my foot.

I just can't help it. And with the way our master bathroom is situated the door is right there lending alien claws easy access to my feet.

I wonder if I should start taking a knife into the bathroom.

Then again, it might be kind of awkward trying to wipe with a knife in my hand.

I like to do sudoku puzzles. They're fun. Unless they are the highest difficult level ones. The ones that say "HARD" at the top (usually these are at the end of any sudoku book.) I don't like those ones. Because they weren't kidding - they're hard.

When I am filling things out I like to recite the numbers in my head while I see which spots they could fit. So if I'm trying to fill in a row of numbers and I need to figure out threes, I'll mentally say "three" in each square that a three could possibly fit.

It helps me focus.

Except when I get to the sixes.

Because I really don't feel comfortable reciting triplet sixes in my head. It is the devil's number you know. And what if by thinking it I'll invoke the wrath of Satan on my sudoku puzzle?

That's the last thing I need when I'm doing sudoku. Especially when I get to the hard section.

I read a funny teen book the other day. It was written in the UK. Man, their slang cracks me up. Joke's in UK humor sound so much funnier. I wonder if the people there think Americans are funny? Maybe they all just think we're a bunch of morons? Someone, please enlighten me.

Did you notice that I got rid of all my ads?

Yeah, those things were -let's face it- POINTLESS. No one ever wants to click on them. Heck, I never even felt compelled to click. So I replaced them with shots of my family. That way when I'm talking about the kids or Husband you won't go, "WHO?!!"

My brother & sister-in-laws twins are doing ok. As ok as to be expected anyway. One of them had heart surgery this evening that went well, and the other will probably have the same surgery soon. They still have lots to go through, but seem to have minimal-ish far.

Thanks to everyone who have donated or put the button on their blogs. You're awesome.

They will still need some help though, so if you've been compelled to do something good today, please choose them. They really do deserve it.

Sep 16, 2009

need your help

My brother in-law and his wife were expecting twins at the end of December. Instead her water broke around 2 AM yesterday.

The babies are very early, and very tiny, and we are all very very worried.

Both babies were life flighted to a hospital with a NICU which is about an hour's drive from my bro & sis-in law's house. She hasn't been able to visit them yet because she had to deliver the second baby via emergency c-section and is still in the hospital in their home town.

Sophia - Sept 15, 2009 2:05am
1 pound 10 ounces, 13 inches

Lukas - Sept 15, 2009 2:26am
1 pound 10 ounces, 14 inches

I am asking for you help in two ways. First of all, please pray for them. All of them. It's going to be a very scary couple of days/weeks/months.

Secondly, I have set up a donation fund for them, considering the exorbitant hospital bills they'll have, plus the cost of driving and staying in town to visit the babies, and all the other extra costs associated with situations like this. My bro-in-law is a student and his wife will no longer be working, since she is so obviously needed elsewhere.

If you could please give what you can, and spread the word of their need. I have a made a button if you want to add one to your blog. This is the first time I've tried to do one of those get the code box thingies, so I hope it works:

Thanks to everyone who can help! I'll give updates on the babies when I can, right now we are just waiting and praying.

Sep 11, 2009

ducks, lyrics and bandaids

Our kids have a duck bathroom. We've had the duck stuff ever since we had kids (like when we just had one bathroom and I still thought kid stuff was that I'm surrounded by kid stuff....ugh.)

Part of the decor is a duck shaped rug/bath mat on the floor. And ever since we got it I cannot use the toilet or shower with it staring up me. It seriously creeps me out. Never mind the other billions of duck eyes in that bathroom. It's just the rug.

So I used to flip the duck beak up over it's eyes so it couldn't see me. Now, if I ever have to use that bathroom I just step on it's eyes until I'm done. Either that or shove an article of clothing over it, because, with it being the kids bathroom, there's guaranteed to be some kind of dirty clothing near by.


I think that Cake has some of the most interesting lyrics. Maybe it's just because I've never seriously thought about the benefits of wearing a short skirt and a long jacket.

They Might Be Giants are weirder though, lyrically speaking (ok, probably all the way speaking, but still...) Remember the song 'Minimum Wage'?

INSERT MUSIC CLIP HERE (couldn't find one....didn't look too hard. Good song though.)

Primus has had some weird lyrics too. 'Too Many Puppies'? I'm not really sure what that means. And Number Four likes rocking out to 'Jerry was a Racecar Driver'. Although I wouldn't really recommend having your young children listen to Primus, that was Husband's idea. But it was pretty cute watching our one year old try to head bang.


Monkey seems destined to a lifetime of bandaid wearing. Not because he's injured. However he's excellent at falling or running into things (heaven has dispatched a league of guardian angels to constantly watch over my boys - it is the only possible explanation for the absence of stitches and broken bones.)

He did actually scrape his knee a week ago. There was minimal blood, but he got a bandaid for it anyway. And now he freaks out if we take it off.

Last night Husband removed it to give the kid a shower. Monkey immediately crumpled to the floor in screaming fits. He wouldn't put weight on his faux-injured leg (I'm glad I didn't have to be the one trying to get him to stand in a shower.) After a few minutes of soap, water and torturous screaming Husband handed me our little Monkey wrapped in a towel.

He still wouldn't put weight on his leg, so I carried him to the edge of his bed. He was shaking. Still screaming. Calls of, "Bannay!!" (bandaid) between his banshee wails. If I got closer to his knee he would scream more. He would shake even worse. I tried to convince him that a bandaid was unnecessary.

He wouldn't relent. He just got more distraught.

So I slapped another bandaid on his knee. Immediately he was fine.

And so begins his lifetime of security-blanket-style bandaid wearing.

Sep 1, 2009

good news

My kids started school this week.


Two Bits started first grade on monday, and I put Opie ('Screamer' or whatever you want to call him) on the bus for the first time at exactly 12:35 tomorrow afternoon. I would tell you how many seconds that is from now, except that my math skills are horribly inadequate (I blame this on graphing calculators, and my 8th grade algebra teacher who told us it was ok to look at the answers in the back of the book.)

I want to thank everyone for their awesome comments on the last post.

It seems that I am not alone in the mommy-hating-hood. And I'm probably also not alone in thinking that I was the only one in that hood before the half (ok, mostly) crazed post written amidst my mothering funk.

I think we all feel alone in this because when we see other moms who ask, "You're kids are so cute, what a great mom you are! So how are you today?" You can't really answer that question with, "Please excuse me while I throw this shoe and scream profanities to declare my complete disgust with parenting."

(By the way, I don't scream profanities. Or throw shoes. But BOY have I wanted to.)

I think I'm going to start a movement. A movement of mothers who tell eachother how they actually feel. Instead of putting on their happy mommy faces, that society has deemed we must wear, and pretend that we have it all under control.

And now I know how you all feel, there's really no faking it. Sorry, but you have to join my movement. At least when you're around me (which happens all the time, right?) Except, of course, if my mommy-brain kicks in like usual and I forget all about this. Which is actually highly likely. It seems that 2.7 seconds is about my average memory retention and then all info goes to.....who knows where. I'm betting it all goes to Wisconsin though. Because it's probably pretty sure I'll never look for it there.

In an attempt to get my life a bit more under control (so that I don't have to answer everyone who says, "How are you?" with too much negativity) I created a great new school schedule (with pictures) and a kid chore chart (more pictures) and a whole behavior=consequences thing (yes, I drew a picture of underwear with the word NO repeated around it to remind my son there is a consequence for pooping his pants.) And among those consequences I've decided that if I or Husband yell at the kids then we have to pay them a penny, each, and for every time.

Which reminds me - I owe my kids money.

So anyways, I'm feeling a bit better. Because as much fun as my little breakdowns are, I think I'd like postpone my next one for a while.

And thanks again for openly accepting me into the 'hood.' And if you ever see me clutching a shoe.....well, you've been warned.