Apr 25, 2011

so here's the thing...

I have to make an announcement. But it's not one that I'm thrilled to make. For the past week I've been ignoring it so that, like the proverbial dog, it will just GO AWAY.

Honestly, the odds of it just going away are slim to fat-chance, so I should just announce it already.

I'm moving.

To Utah.

Every time I think about it, I also think I'm going to throw up.

I know there's a lot of people who like living in Utah, so I don't want to offend anyone, but I HATE UTAH. Direly. And when I moved away a decade ago I vowed never ever ever ev-er to move back.  EVER.  (Motherboard told me last week to never make that vow because then God HAS to force you to move back - - too bad her warning is about 10 1/2 years too late.)

So now, I'm sure you're asking yourself, "If you hate it so bad, why are you moving?"  Which is an excellent question.

Husband got a new job.  With real live actual benefits (jobs without benefits are, shall we say, of the devil, and having lived that way for years and years and years, yeah....you get the picture).  And while I heavily considered the idea of living here with the kids while he works there, the subsequent idea of single parenthood was enough to scare me into moving.  (My kids are pretty scary.)

So yeah.  Husband leaves to go work this friday.  The rest of us are staying here until school gets out in June.  Pretty much the job offer went like this: In January: "Thanks for your resume, we won't be hiring you."  In March: "Thanks for visiting our office, we'll be having a hiring freeze for quite some time."  In April: "You're hired!  Can you start work in 11 days?"  (And here I was praying for the hiring freeze to last....indefinitely.)


So if all my posts from this point on are whiny, complaintive and incoherently insane its because I'm single parenting for 6 weeks and then moving to the location of my nightmares.

17 comments:

Kristina P. said...

We can go to the righteous sex shop together!

Heather said...

Melissa, you'll be moving to Salt Lake City which is COMPLETELY different than Provo/Orem/Payson, etc. I promise. Salt Lake City is AWESOME. I'll personally show you all the reasons to love it when you get down here. :)

That Girl said...

Why did you hate it before? Bad neighborhood? Bad ward? Bad attitude? All three?

Things can change, my friend. Really really.

(P.S. I used to be even MORE of a hater than you are ....)

Abby said...

Are you moving to Utah Valley or SLC? SLC is actually a normal place. I hated living in Utah Valley and shudder with dread every time I have to go there, but I love SLC. It's actually pretty diverse, the shopping is great, and it's beautiful.

Melanie Jacobson said...

Um, it's pretty there . . .?

Jen said...

I love Utah. We'll have to agree to disagree.

This reminded me of when my mom once looked the bishop in the eye and said, "I will NEVER go to girls camp." Pretty sure she was the stake nurse at camp for at least five years running. Good luck with this oncoming ordeal.

Rachel Sue said...

We can be real life friends too! If that doesn't cheer you up then I just don't know what will. Oooh. Yes I do. I can babysit for you. Better, no? So, yeah. For real let me know if you need help or anything. Seriously.

Becca said...

I wondered if you were even going to tell people ;) See? Up north is NOT like Utah county, thank goodness. I'm liking it so far, I hope you guys do too. It will be fun to have you guys here. Don't move too far away :)

Becca said...

And what the heck is a righteous sex shop?! haha

Cynthia said...

You'll so fine here! Just hang out with the other 'B' List Mormons like me and life will be great.

Also, open your mind to the possibility that it isn't as bad as you imagine. I mean, come on girl! You've got 4 kids. If that doesn't SCREAM Utah, I don't know what does!? You'll do great. Your kids will have TONS of other kids to play with and a year from now you just MIGHT be grudingly admiting that it's not so bad here! LOL!

Caroline said...

Bah-ha-ha-ha-ha! YOUR LIFE TOTALLY BLOWS!

Caroline said...

And by totally blows, I mean, I will see you next March.

Barbaloot said...

I'm sorry you hate Utah. And I'm sorry you have to single parent. But I'm not sorry you're moving here!! :)

LisAway said...

So what you're saying is that I may actually get to meet you some day!?! Wooohoooo!!!!

If that wasn't the point of this post then sorry. That's all I got out of it.

Wonder Woman said...

I never wanted to live in Utah, either. TOTALLY get it.

But I'm glad you'll be closer.

My Life as a Real House Wife said...

Think of all the snowboarding you will be able to do now. Because we all know how close you were to going pro a while back. Maybe you can get into the olympics with the extra practice.

My Life as a Real House Wife said...

And I didn't add you will see my beautiful face everyday. And yes I will be at your house every waking hour. YEAH!!!!!