Skip to main content

about ME

By
This is me....on a good day.  Because do you see that smile?  If it were a bad day I'm sure there would be spikey teeth coming out of that mouth instead of a grin.

Also, I usually wear pants.

But I do spend a good deal of time with a headache.  Hence the screw.

And now that we have the picture description out of the way, here's some more about ME:

I am married, I work (A LOT) from home, I don't do dishes, I sometimes get to leave my house, but I rarely shower.  I'm an artist/graphic designer/business owner.  Also I gave birth to four kids in just under five years.  And then I waited six years, freaked out that my kids were all getting older, and then had another baby.

Basically, for blogging purposes, I'm pretty self-absorbed and fairly insane.  But that's ok, because if you made it this far through my obnoxious bio, then you're not exactly the shining example of mental balance either.  SO LET'S BE FRIENDS!

If you want to contact me, then let me tell you, I never answer my phone.  Not like I'd put my phone number here anyway - but just know that you've been warned, if you somehow get a hold of my phone number you will get my voicemail.  Or you can be smart and email me:

melissabastow AT hotmail DOT com

And for kicks and giggles, here is a whole bunch of my favorite posts (because, my blog is aptly titled, and I just can't get enough of reading about myself):

One Hundred (truly horrifying things)
I'm Not Fat my Scale Just Hates Me
Personal Ad
To Myself on Mother's Day
A Certain Kind of Vanity
Aliens and the Devils Number
And Then He was Three
The Coolest Post Ever
Slug Bug Yellow, Smart Fart Blue
Somniphobia
The Scariest Thing You will Ever Read
Good Reasons to be Agoraphobic

Popular posts from this blog

GIVEAWAY (of the photo Christmas card variety)

By
I think I just creeped out my four year old. I pulled out the, "You'd better go to bed because Santa's Elves are watching you to make sure you're being good!" routine. His eyes got big, and round, and scared. And he said, "Why would they do that?!" Also, our church building burned down yesterday. No wait, it didn't. But the alarm went off, and the entire ward just sat there in the chapel (and gym, because we have an enormous ward.) I sat there too. I don't know what everyone else was thinking, but the thought going through my head was, "Can somebody please get that alarm turned off, it is WAY TOO LOUD!!!!" Seriously, I think our ward is now 37% deafer after that. Oh, and there was no actual fire. And the first fire truck to show up was driven by one of our ward members who was on duty that day. Good times. And now, that GIVEAWAY: For procrastinators everywhere (that would include me) I'm giving away one free photo Christmas card d...
21 comments
Older Posts >>

hair loss and mourning

By
I like Monkey's hair long.  I tried to grow out Opie's hair when he was younger, but he has always had a tremendously large head, and he also has very thick wavy hair.  You pair those two together, throw in some long locks, and you've got yourself a genuinely bonified giant-head child.  So I've learned my lesson: keep Opie's hair short. But Monkey's hair?  It's so soft, and straight (our only straight-haired child) and super super cute when it's long.  SUPER CUTE.  (Agree with me - it's my blog.)  But not many people liked the whole long hair thing.  I kept having to threaten various family members with things like, "If I come back to find him with short hair I will DISOWN you, run away with my kids and you will never hear from us again.  EVER."  (Husband was particularly sensitive to this threat.) However, I did say that once random strangers started referring to him as a girl, I would consider cutting it.  And even though ...
15 comments
Older Posts >>

so here's the thing...

By
I have to make an announcement. But it's not one that I'm thrilled to make. For the past week I've been ignoring it so that, like the proverbial dog, it will just GO AWAY. Honestly, the odds of it just going away are slim to fat-chance, so I should just announce it already. I'm moving. To Utah. Every time I think about it, I also think I'm going to throw up. I know there's a lot of people who like living in Utah, so I don't want to offend anyone, but I HATE UTAH. Direly. And when I moved away a decade ago I vowed never ever ever ev-er to move back.  EVER.  ( Motherboard told me last week to never make that vow because then God HAS to force you to move back - - too bad her warning is about 10 1/2 years too late.) So now, I'm sure you're asking yourself, "If you hate it so bad, why are you moving?"  Which is an excellent question. Husband got a new job.  With real live actual benefits (jobs without benefits are, shall we ...
17 comments
Older Posts >>