Skip to main content

if my blog were a child

I'm babysitting - no, not my own kids....that would be just regular parenting. Babysitting is way cooler because you get to sit in someone else's house where their kids actually stay asleep and no one can say, "Why are you blogging AGAIN? Don't you have stuff to do?" Gee, who would ever say that? I dunno, maybe a certain husband who thinks that I should work 19 hours of every day. I know I have enough to do to be that busy, but please....I can blog...and read other blogs....and sometimes I should waste the time to pull semi-entertaining ideas from total strangers blogs. Especially when I'm babysitting and their kids actually stay asleep.

The semi-entertaining idea I stole from that blogging stranger is the title of this post: if my blog where a child... Their post went on to say...something not as entertaining, not really sure what it was about. But MY post is going to be WAY interesting because I will now make a list of what my blog would be like if it were one of my actual children.

IF MY BLOG WERE A CHILD...

You would no longer have volume control on your computer.

Something would break every time you logged on to read.

Your computer would start spitting sticky substances at random.

The message "I'm thirsty for chocolate milk" would pop up at 3 second intervals.

You would automatically smell the stench of a full diaper.

You would have to figure out a way to breast feed your monitor.

And then you'd have to take your entire computer system out to your vehicle 6 times a day to buckle it into a complicated carseat with twisted straps and crumb filled seat.

I am sure there are more ways to relate blogs and kids, so this is where everyone else comes in. So leave a comment on what it would be like if your blog were a child.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I am an artist.

I really am. But not one of those deeply moving, "what do you mean you don't understand my painting, it's BLUE" kind of artists.  I'm more like one of those "oh hey, a pen and a napkin, doodle doodle doodle" kind of artists.  Because I do it for fun.  And yeah, for money.  But still.  Fun....most of the time. But I feel like branching into new mediums.  Do you know how long it's been since I painted?  Like with something other than finger paints or the kids' water colors where all the colors are mixed so they just come out brown anyway? It's been awhile.  I've been itching to paint for months. I've also wanted to let Monkey loose on a canvas for awhile.  He's not like my other kids (who all carry mine and Husband's arty genes) who like to draw endless pictures of unicorns, princesses, transformers or dinosaurs.  Monkey likes to feel his art.  He'll probably end up being one of those deeply moving types.  And I'...

I won't be offended if you answer NO to the question at the end of this post

So this post will probably lose me a lot of respect and friends and possibly even a few phone calls to the Health and Welfare department. But I just feel like posting it, it's kind of like saying it outloud, but without having to watch someone's face react to the horror. And today, I really feel the need to say it outloud. So if you read this and don't feel like being friends anymore, I get it. With everyone's kids going back to school (and our school district being the last to start in the entire world, so I'm still sitting here dealing with summer child overload) I keep reading the posts about how mothers are sad to see their kids go, and how much they're going to miss them, and how much they absolutely love motherhood. Want me to tell you what I think about motherhood? I hate it. There are times when I hate it more than any other thing on the planet. And there goes most of my friends. But I'm sorry. I do. I hate being a mother. I don't hate my c...

dream home

I don't really want a 'dream home'. I don't want to settle down in one house to raise my kids and then grandkids and then great-grandkids. I don't want to be trapped within the confines of the same exact walls from this moment until the day I die. The whole idea sounds like torture. Sometimes my house feels like a prison. (Although, I think it may have something to do with the little wardens that keep me from leaving at my leisure.) And once I've lived in one place long enough I just get really really bored. We've been married for 8 years and moved 7 times. I always hate the moving part, but I do like being somewhere new. And the house we're in right now is actually perfect for us. Just the size we need, great neighbors, close to the school, blah blah blah. The only thing is that we're renting and I can't paint the walls. I like painting walls. But for the most part, I really like living here. Granted, we've only lived here for seve...