Sep 22, 2008

totally random things that i feel like forcing someone to read PART 2

Because it was so much fun the first time. Plus that's just how my brain works.

Every day a school bus drives by our house about 15 minutes before my daughter's bus comes. and EVERY DAY I freak out thinking that her bus just drove by. Why do I do that? I know it's not her bus. And still the freak out.... At least I'm consistent.

Last night I discovered that humming a tune, then stopping just before the end of it and starting a whole new and completely unrelated song, annoys my husband. I'm remembering this for our next road trip.

Our Pediatrician hands out chocolate. Big gooey fudge filled chocolate balls. They are tasty. But today I took Monkey in for a check-up and NO CHOCOLATE. I would have thought that maybe she just stopped awhile ago and then moved on with life completely unaffected, except that we were there last thursday for Cheek's check-up and I got chocolate then. So where is my fudge filled chocolate ball for today? I will not forget that I am owed an extra one next time we go in.

Speaking of Cheek's check-up last week - 4 months and 16 pounds. Which really doesn't rival Screamer's 20 pound 4 month weigh-in. CHUNKY. That's how we make 'em.

Also something I learned at the Pediatrician's office: it is not uncommon to have an extra nipple. And if you do have an extra nipple it will be somewhere down your chest kind of like if you were a nursing pig. AND that if you have an extra nipple they will just leave it there unless it's formed really well - in which case you can have it removed - because wow, a third nipple. Wouldn't that be awkward in a boy's high school locker room.....or totally awesome if you gave birth to triplets. By the way, no one in my family has extra nipples, I just tend to ask weird questions when I have a Dr at my disposal.

Monkey was watching Barney for a few minutes today. I can't stand that show so we rarely see it. And I think we were watching one from their new season, because Barney has stepped the dancing up to a completely new level. There were kids busting out hip hop moves and one kid was a regular little b-boy. Too bad they're doing it to the same old obnoxious songs.

Also on Barney, one dinosaur was calling the other one "Beej" instead of "BJ." First of all -LAZY- it's made up of 2 letters, put in some effort. Plus, from another room -when not paying complete attention but still within listening range- it sounds a bit like some stupid slang version of a certain (female dog) swear word. At least that's what I heard. Which made me wonder WHAT ELSE they had added to Barney besides the new dance moves.

I lost 3 pounds last week. Let's see if I can keep it off and maybe maybe maybe keep losing. But given my track record and using my weight predicting psychic abilities, I'm thinking no.

I hate feet. They disgust me. I don't mind my own feet, which is odd, because I completely neglect them and they are dried up and cracking so they should disgust me. (Someone once told me that feet like mine shouldn't be allowed in sandals in public. To anyone who agrees I say, "Oh yeah?!! What are you going to do to stop me!!!!!!" And watch out, I know Kung Fu....sort of.) But my hatred of feet really gets in the way when I have to take care of the kids' nails. I am in charge of 100 finger and toe nails (mine and 4 kids - do the math.) I don't mind the baby feet. But cutting my 3 1/2 and 5 year olds' toenails. GAG. But I don't want to give them some kind of foot complex so I try to keep it in. It's hard. Really REALLY hard. Last night I almost gagged in my daughters face....well on her foot really, but her face was really close (she's bendy like that.) I just hate feet.

Remind me to tell you about how I learned Kung Fu sometime. OK, OK, I'll tell you now!!! I took "Self-Defence for Women" in college, and then dated the instructor and got free outside lessons when the class ended. You know what I mean when I say "free outside lessons" right? Wink....... It means that he let me come to the regular class for his little minions to beat on me two nights a week so that I looked horribly abused. And it was all FREEEEEEE. Ok, so there's more to it than that (like how he was 26 and I was 19, and he had 3 kids. Stuff like's a wonderful tale of bruises, babysitting and the winking kind of "outside lessons.")

And just because I want to - here is everyone in my family at around 4 months old.

Chubby Husband

Cuter than darling Me.

Curly, before the curls.

Screamer with his pinchable cheeks.

Monkey back in his mohawk days.

Cheeks in all of her adorable cheekiness.


Heather (n.) An organized mess. said...

You're hilarious Melissa.

Reading your blog makes me bashful to write mine. Cuz I'm not funny.

Lisa said...

What darling 4 month olds! And you DO make yours chunky. And cheeky. So cute.

100 finger and toenails!?! I DID do the math, but it still seems impossible!