Sep 11, 2008

i'm not above rewarding child slave labor but not unitelligent sky writers

I know, the title is long and seems to bring two things together with nothing in common. But that's what I'm writing about anyway. mmmkay?

Usually I like to ignore the mess that is my house. Because even if I wanted to clean and actually did clean, it would be dirty again in about 2.3 seconds. So instead of fighting against the mess makers today, I bribed them to work for me. (Which mothers have been doing for centuries....yeah, don't act like you've never done it.)

Independent cleaning is a relatively new concept around here. And I've gotta say, it's not getting very good reviews from those who are now doing the cleaning. But hey, they're 5 and 3 - and slave labor...I mean totally what I've been waiting for since the day I peed on a stick and got a plus sign.

Still though, I wasn't in the mood to be dealing with the whining (screaming, kicking and throwing things) but I still wanted the house cleaned. So I told little Curly and Screamer that if they cleaned their rooms....upstairs....away from me....that they could get marshmallows with their lunch (which they probably would have gotten anyway because it's impossible to keep a bag of marshamallows in this house for longer than 2 1/2 days.)

And it actually worked. Well, kind of. I still had to do some damage control in Screamers room since he thinks cleaning means shoving everything in the closet or under Monkey's crib. But he is 3, so I cut him a little slack - - but just a little, because I run a tight ship here with my marshmallow rewarding.

So while the room cleaning was going on -away from me- I tackled the dishes.

Did you just poo poo me, like it's not a big deal?! OH, it is so a big deal.

In our house I don't do dishes. And that was not sarcasm. We have this deal that if I make dinner then Husband has to clean it up. And even on days when I actually don't make any food and Husband brings home Happy Meals (like every tuesday because the Happy Meals are so much cheaper) Husband still has to do the dishes. (I guess he got tired of the whining, screaming, kicking and throwing things too.)

AND not only did I do those dishes that I NEVER do, I loaded the entire dishwasher with a "helping" toddler. Which means that I also had to yell, "No no!" and replace the dishes he had removed about 173 times. Because, holy cow, are toddlers not helpful.

And then I swept the floor while singing "Sing Sweet Nightengale" complete with fake vibrato.

Just a refresher for some of you who don't have princess lovers at your house - the nightengale song is what Cinderella sings while mopping the floor while Lucifer the cat is pouncing all over with his dirty feet. It kind of reminds me of what Monkey does while I'm trying to clean and he's dropping cracker crumbs in a trail behind me. He's just like that cat - except not named after the devil.

Then it was time to wait for the bus, and I witnessed something I have never seen before in my life: the magic of SKYWRITING.

I was all excited, the kids were all excited. So we sat there and watched the letters as they were being drawn. And then the kids started asking, "What does it say, Mommy?!!"

MHA.... does that sound the like beginning of any word you know? Me neither. So we continued to watch.

This is it. "MHAFB" is what the skywriter spelled.....I'm thinking this skywriter didn't finish elementary school but somehow owns a plane anyway. AND, did you know that the letters actually move across the sky? Yeah, I never realized that. Well, since I have never actually seen skywriting before this, I guess I couldn't realize it, and I've never really thought about it either, so yeah.....they

So just when I'm thinking, "Idiot." And telling the kids, "Maybe he was just practicing." Since they are now insisting that I tell them what wonderful thing was just written in the sky. The skywriter starts another line. So now I'm thinking, "I guess we'll chalk this one off as a loss and start over?"

Oh but hey, it's actually forming an actual word!! Then I realize that the word before must be "M-something H-something Air Force Base" and they're obviously having an airshow. Wow - Captain Skywriter is smart after all.

The letters drifted too close and my camera doesn't have a wide angle lens, but really it's ok - because this is where it ended. No 'w.' Turns out he was an idiot after all.

But now I can say that I've witnessed sky writing and bribed my children with something as simple as a marshmallow. (See how the title is all coming together now? They really should pay me to write headlines in the newspaper, don't you think?)

1 comment:

Jill said...

I would say that you're brilliant.
You got a lot of mileage out of those marshmallows. My kids are older, and think that they can negotiate for things before they do any work. They say things like,
"So mom, what will you give me if I do the dishes?"

To which I reply,

"I will continue to let you live here and feed you."