because I really can't get enough of myself

I'm having a love affair with popcorn. We used to just see each other at the movies. I would sit in the dark theater, with my hand in the warm buttery tub delighting in my guilty pleasure. Everything was rather innocent back then. And every once in awhile I would pop some in the microwave. I would tell the kids it was for them. Like a favorite uncle, they loved it when popcorn was in our house. But then we bought an air popper. It's been two weeks. Two weeks of never ending popcorn. First I made caramel corn for my kids' teachers. The good crunchy kind. I thought I could share it. I thought I would be strong enough to give some of my beloved popcorn away. But then I started to think of excuses to make more. The neighbors needed some, and we ought to make a double batch for our family Christmas Eve party. And each time I would dip in and dive further into the affair. I also realized how wonderful air popped popcorn with real butter was. It was like finding a deep...

So I said that Monkey likes guitars, right? Santa brought him a new one. (He's trashed the old one, since he's a fan of smashing it concert style into the floor.) He likes all kinds of rock music, but seems to be particularly fond of acid rock (hence the Guns n Roses in the video.) Is it wierd that our toddler has a preffered genre of music? And that it includes Guns n Roses? Here's a little clip him playing this morning - snowman pj's and pink binky included. I had to slice it a bit, because being an almost 2 year old, he gets distracted. So I took out the distractions and left the guitar parts. And just so you know, he didn't pull out some of his best moves (like playing behind his head or you know, the smashing thing...)

I finally finished. The day before Christmas everyone's gifts are done. Yeah, doing a home made Christmas -or what turned into a semi-partial home made Christmas because for the love of macaroni this is taking me FOREVER - was a total DRAG. I don't care how poor we are next year, or any year for that matter, everyone is getting a store bought gift, even if it's just socks or underwear or I don't know, an 80's poster from Goodwill, whatever, YOU BETTER LOVE IT. And now my Christmas gift to myself is actually going to bed before 3 AM and, of course, a lengthy sit at the computer to catch up on all the blog reading I missed. Because I totally deserve it. The crappiest part about all of this? My kids will probably love their cheapo store bought stuff way better than the stuff I made. Even if I put hours and hours of labor into them, and also some blood because I poke my fingers a lot, which sounds gross, ok, I wiped off the blood, but still, and also I put my soul i...

So you know how a little while ago I posted about getting rid of our baby clothes ? No? Yeah, well, I did. That was during my "moody" period, and I was a bit upset about it. Ok, so I'm still upset. But I'm getting better. Sort of. I went through all of our clothes and separated them into two piles. The "Wow, that has some nasty stains, but I just can't throw it away, because how wasteful would I be, don't you even CARE about our earth, so it better go to DI where they can hopefully power wash that out, or throw it away themselves without telling me" pile. And the "I'll take this to Other Mothers and hopefully get some cash or atleast some more cute kid clothes out of it" pile. (It was a much smaller pile....but still surprisingly large, because we have a ton of old baby clothes, which I believe I already mentioned....in that other post.) And then I put the two piles in containers (multiple containers) and stuck them in our garage....

You know that book that Sue is putting together for NieNie ? I got to do the cover. Can I get a WOOT WOOT. Want to know what else is cool? The pig in my header is still dressed like a turkey and will probably stay that way until Christmas is over. Awesome.

I think Costco should adopt us as their "Secret Santa" family. Wouldn't that be awesome? Except I don't think Costco really does that. But they should. Because I have my list all ready: 1 giganto box of toilet paper 52 boxes of Huggies in sizes 3 & 5 (that should last us a few weeks) 4 bottles of those gummy vitamin bears A lifetime supply of wet wipes 27 pounds of pre-frozen chicken breasts 5 boxes of corn dogs or chicken nuggets or both As many cans of fruit and vegetables that can fit into our garage (I'll even move the car, except I don't want canned peas or green beans, because they are nasty, although I'll take some frozen peas and someone pretending that I like green beans.) 27 tubes of cinnamon flavored toothpaste A new digital camcorder (ours is starting to fossilize) 489 pounds of M&Ms in Christmas colors. And then just a smattering of the fun stuff that they always throw into the center of the store. I found some really cute jeans for ...

So I was searching my house, wracking my brain, trying to figure out where I put my daughter's theater slip when I had an epiphany -ok, maybe not an epiphany, but more like a regular idea- about why I am so scatterbrained these days. I used to remember everything. When I was in 6th grade I could name everyone my age. The student body wasn't huge, but that was at least 350 people. And just because I didn't actually know them all, or maybe know all of their last names, I could identify almost every one of their faces. In high school and college I was an expert crammer. I would study right before the test, remember everything with crystal clear precision for a few hours, score amazing grades, and then forget most of it. That information was concrete for those few hours, and tests were a breeze. This morning I walked up the stairs to grab a pair of socks for Monkey, but once I reached the top step I couldn't recall why I was there. It took another trip back down the s...

So I was on vacation for awhile, and I'm not even promising to catch up on all the blog posts I missed. Sorry. But I fully expect you to read every single word that I type. Really. While I was on vacation I went with my mom and my sister to see Twilight (my second viewing.) And then we discussed the hotness of each character. Of course with different opinions, but mine is the best, naturally. I decided to get all obsessed about it though, and I re-read the book before we went. Which doesn't sound TOO obsessed until you hear that I was in a craze while searching the house for my step-mom's copy of the book. I couldn't find it anywhere. I even checked her trunk. (It wasn't there.) Luckily she got home after about an hour (or possibly two hours) of searching. Which left me about 24 hours to read the book, and still socialize with my family. Did you know that it's possible to read and carry on a conversation at the same time? I think this was only possibl...

Twice now I've answered my door and gotten the question, "Are your parents home?" Both times they were LDS missionaries....ok, technically the guy today has been a home for a month (but whatever, it doesn't count. A month isn't even enough time to get used to speaking English again.) So how embarrassing is it for them to hear, "I AM the parent, dork-hanger." And what is it about me that says, 'you couldn't possibly be in charge here?' I was trying to take a picture of my head, thinking it was just the messy frizz hair that was the problem with this age guessing thing. But the lighting wasn't good so then I got a flashlight, and sometimes things just happen. And just because I am amused by things as simple as a flashlight and our webcam doesn't make me any less fit to be "the head of the house." Sheesh. Screamer told his preschool teacher that his favorite Thanksgiving food is pizza. What the heck? When have we had piz...

My cousin and I were going to see Twilight last night (that would be thursday night, even though technically I'm writing this early saturday morning, but still friday night, so it's going to say I posted on saturday, and I really don't want anyone to get confused. phew. moving. on.) So, as I was saying, my cousin and I were going to see Twilight THE second that it opened in the theater - and then we remembered that we are adults. We went tonight instead. But all the early shows were sold out, so we saw the movie at 11:00. Because an 11:00 viewing of Twilight automatically makes you more mature than a midnight viewing. Yeah, I was wondering what all of those junior high girls were doing at the mature 11:00 show. Obviously they didn't get the memo that the 11:00 show was particularly for mothers of young children who should be more interested in how to successfully scrape macaroni and cheese off the ceiling instead of watching a movie about vampires going to high s...

You know that give-away I was talking about the other day? Yeah, well here it is. Except that it's not ENTIRELY a give away. Don't get me wrong, I'm giving something away, but there are.... stipulations. So here's the deal. I WILL GIVE YOU THIS: It's a lovely horde of bows. Ok, maybe "horde" isn't the right word. But 6 bows and a hat. ALL of them made by my very own hands. (And I'll have you know that I almost kept the pink and brown bow for my girls - it turned out that cute.) Here are some bow-ish details you need to know: 1-I hate when bows fall apart. (And what kid isn't going to be ripping them from their head? Seriously.) So I hand sew all of my bows together. Ok, so I glue them to the actual clip, but the rest - SEWED. Which is code for, "will not fall apart." 2- All bows are on little alligator clips that have been covered by matching ribbon. This will help them slip less, and look better. 3- Bows that fray also bug...

This past weekend I played 'photog' at my aunt's wedding, and realized that HOLY COW am I bad at photographing weddings. I thought for sure that everyone was going to focus directly on my horrible camera skills, and then my Uncle Charlie showed up with a coyote on his head. Coyote headgear is always good for stealing some attention away from inadequate photographers. Except the thing is, this is not the first time Uncle Charlie has worn a dead animal on his head. In fact, I think he tries to wear some kind of carcass to each and every wedding reception he attends (and he comes to them all - he's good like that.) Family events are generally interesting, or atleast have moments of genuine "wow"-ness. And I guess it all just depends on how you interpret that "wow." Monkey has fallen in love with the guitar. Ok not a real guitar, even though I pulled mine out yesterday and he fully attacked it. But what I'm really talking about the Guitar Hero t...

I think I'm going to quit nablopomo, because guess what? I'll write when I feel like it. Also, I've realized I'm boring. Also, I think everyone else has realized that I'm boring. Also I'm super busy right now. Also, it's really affecting my commenting abilities - has anyone noticed that I haven't been leaving comments? Maybe I'm being too vain and no one has really noticed at all. So yeah. Goodbye nablopomo - I made it 13 days. And don't even leave me negative comments, like calling me a quitter or saying that if I can't even make it half way through the month what kind of blogging dedication do I have really. And if you do feel like saying something rude - sticks and stones, people. STICKS and STONES (will be what I use when I hunt you down and beat you.) Oh and I'm working on a give away thingy (can you call it a give away when it comes with conditions?) Anyone with a girl is going to totally love it. Or maybe sort of like it. Or ...

I need to post for the whole nablopomo thing. Except that I'm having a day. Let's just say that after the kids went to bed I downed a bag of M&M's in about 3 minutes. Curse you small bag - why did I even buy that size?!! You may have noticed that I haven't even mentioned M&M's in awhile. I was getting better. But they are my vice. And today I NEEDED THEM. The End. P.S. Diet, caffeine free, generic cola is worth NOTHING. Don't buy it. Ever. The diet part I like, the generic I can handle, but without the caffeine it's pointless. (Please remind my husband of this next time you see him at the grocery store.)

My daughter has to take snacks to Kindergarten. I don't think that most Kindergartens make you still donate food, do they? I thought that was just a preschool thing. But still, the snacks. So I am going to use this as a way to earn parenting points. I've decided to make some kind of amazing snack each month. Because then people would look at it and be totally jealous of my finger food skills. Which is really what parenting is all about. Except that the first time we had snacks I forgot. And then remembered 15 minutes before the bus showed up. And we hadn't gone grocery shopping for awhile. So I threw some cheese between some tortillas and nuked them. Every kid likes quesadillas, right? Plus I threw in some raisins, so no one should be complaining there. October went a little better. I stole some ideas from a magazine and that day the Kindergartners ate bread stick bones and monster eyeballs made out of dried fruit. They were a big hit. Today was Curly's nov...

I feel bad posting this right after I write about slugs. But what good is a blog if you can't write something heart wrenching one day and something totally stupid the next? I was rocking my little ones before their naps today, feeling annoyed and wanting my "me time." But then a thought popped into my head - one of those "whole story in just one moment" type thoughts. And I realized that I take rocking my children much too much for granted. Children are a gift. This is my attitude changing thought, as best as I could put it into words: (You're going to need some tissues.) This was her third pregnancy. Everything about it was old hat, surprise free. Another boy. “How am I going to handle another boy?” she thought, “Sis is going to be disappointed when she finds out she is going to have another brother.” But still, she knew she’d love this baby, boy or not. Everything went according to plan. She was scheduled for a repeat c-section. She knew the drill...

I don't think it is a coincidence. We have bugs here, but nothing super creepy. And then I read on Mary's blog about her son's love of snails, and then she posted those nasty pictures of the giant slimy things. And then 2 months later this shows up on our front door. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW. I did notice one last week out on the sidewalk, and I thought, "We've never had slugs before. That's nasty." But I didn't really think about it until last night. CLEARLY Mary is to blame. (It just took them awhile to get here, because you know, they're slugs.) And guess what, Mary? THEY ARE TRYING TO GET IN. Thanks a lot. I mean, look at this thing. I wanted to go grab the salt shaker, because killing this would be easy....if I wanted to upset the alien colony of slime that seems to be invading my house. Like, what if this is just a scout? And he's supposed to look all vulnerable and nonthreatening. And then the huge ones show up with their hard s...

Free tickets to Disney on Ice. That's right. I had some. Husband and I ditched the babies and took Curly and Screamer to the matinee today. It was really really fun. And thank goodness those tickets were free because we wanted treats and everything cost more than our house. A bag of cotton candy -$10.00. That's right. For a plastic bag, about 1 tablespoon of sugar and fluffy fluffy AIR. A box of popcorn - $7.00. For a flimsy box with Mickey's picture on it, some unpopped kernels and fluffy fluffy AIR. Snowcones , in plastic disney cups with flippy lids - $10.00. Atleast they weren't filled with air. This time it was two squirts of flavoring on a big ball of FROZEN WATER. Yeah...... atleast the tickets were free. And it was really fun. I've never seen anything like that before. I was quite the deprived child - how could my parents have never taken me to see costumed ice skaters? Rude. During the show I noticed that Curly has officially learned to be ...

Screamer will turn 4 in december . That's next month, folks. And hey guess what? He's still in diapers. I know, it's so embarrassing. The kid just refuses to do it. He has the ability and everything is set up well (we've had the chart, stickers and rewards for almost a year now.) But still, the diapers. We've done the whole "just stick him in underwear" thing. He pees and goes, "Hey look, I'm wet." And then he continues to play. UNeffective . We've bribed and thrown candy at the kid for even mentioning the toilet. UNeffective . We've had a stinking Optimus Prime (the big one) sitting on our fridge to taunt and "influence" the kid into peeing in the pot since July. And sometimes we push the buttons on it in an effort to up the desire. UNeffective . We've told him that we can't go to Disneyland if he's not going in a toilet. (Those Disneyland plans fell through anyway) but still, UNeffective . So this ...

This is my bestest of all friends Brooke. I know, she's way stinking hot. And this was just our first year of college - she's only gotten hotter over the years. She is the reason why I never stood a chance at dating the football team. Well, and because in college, I looked like this: Ok, really, I looked like this. But still, you can see how one can tend to feel gorilla-ish when your competition resembles Barbie. Brooke and I were roommates for a few years. And the first time we met was while she was moving in. I was all close-minded and judgemental back in those days (and totally had a "woah, I'm too ugly for this" attitude) and I remember looking at her and thinking, "I'm going to hate you. Because you're hot. So I have to hate you. And I WILL HATE YOU. I know it." Boy was I wrong. Brooke will forever be my most favorite person on the face of this planet. If I were a good person, I would say say that my husband or our kids are my fa...

So I was going to post about our new President, but it's already all over the place, and I really hate doing serious things here. It's so much easier to pretend that I don't care about stuff like politics (but in case you wondered if it was all about frivolities and M&M's here - it's not.) So then I was going to put together this post full of pictures of ME. Because everyone has been begging and BEGGING to see pictures of me at any age (child, nerd-stage, my college hotness.) Ok , they really weren't, but that's ok because I'm not going to do that either. You can probably look forward to it sometime this month though, because I think it's only appropriate to get a good long picture post in during National Blog Posting Month, don't you? And now if you're wondering what I'm really going to write about, since I've just wasted all of your time with what I'm not writing about. I want to talk about Phonemic Awareness and...

So I really want to go and read everyone's new posts. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO. But I'm being a stupid grownup and getting some stuff done instead. Except that since I'm also now a NaBloPoMo-er , I need to write about something today. And since I'm responsible and stuff, I thought I'd write on the blog before doing lesser important things....like going to vote. Holy cow am I going to get comments for that last sentence. Don't worry, I will get around to voting sometime today ....like 8:55 tonight, right before the polls close. (I'm anticipating a line.) But first, here is some stuff about a few of my cool bloggy friends. The other day Jen was writing over at Desperately Seeking Skinny Pants about her resolve to not touch the Halloween candy. It's totally a great idea. So I tried it, and instead of eating the candy I stuck my whole face into the candy bucket and started sniffing. Sniffing just isn't the same. That was the shortest no-candy resolve in...

I need to go make banana bread. Because I bought these bananas that were actually green (you know like when you go to the produce sections and ALL the bananas are green and you are thinking, "Oh, those were for today, but whatever....") But apparently under all that green were horribly bruised banananess. So green bananas don't show bruises the same? Atleast these ones didn't. So yeah, they're ripe now, and mostly black, so banana bread it is. Maybe I'll just make some homemade wheat bread while I'm at it. But then I'd have to get out my wheat grinder. OH WAIT. I don't have a wheat grinder....or wheat.....and the last time I've made homemade bread of any kind was the last time we had black bananas. I just wanted to sound really home maker-ish for a second. Because that's not really something that is included in my treasure trove of talents. But in Relief Society they are always talking about wheat grinding and food storage and canning the w...

My mom and step-dad came for Halloween. Which is totally cool, because I'll take advantage of any familial Balderdash playing. That game is so entertaining. Here are some answers to last night's game: Movie plots: "The Point" (the true and hilarious answer) Animated movie about the rejection felt by a round headed child in a world of point headed people. "The Point?" (my version) Two hours of some guy walking around, going on and on about nothing in particular. "ALI: Fear That Eats the Soul" (the funniest version, thanks to Husband) A woman makes a deal to trade her soul to the devil for the ability to get revenge on her exboyfriend's girlfriend. Wouldn't you watch any of those? Ok, maybe not my version of "The Point?" but the other ones....oh yeah. One of the favorite categories of the evening was Acronyms. I.C.S.S.A. (from the mind of my mother) International Coalition of Sea Surfing Amputees. B.L.O.O.P. (my best answer of the n...

Did you know it's National Blog Posting Month? Thirty posts in thirty days. And since no one has told me yet that there has to be only one post per day, I'm doing this. (But really, expect multiple posts per day, because I will most likely miss posting every day...like yesterday.) I got this from Mombabe . She has some great buttons. Go get one. DO IT. NOW.

Seeing as it's Halloween and all, I wanted to share with you the absolute SCARIEST thing that has ever happened to me. So if you have been harboring a full bladder, run to the bathroom before you read this. Because you will most definitely PEE YOUR PANTS - it's that scary. Alright...here it is....the absolutely most terrifying thing I have ever experienced, EVER. One day when I was in 4 th grade, I wore a skirt to school. (And I say "one day" because it only ever happen one day, because I'm not even a skirt or dress wearer and never have been.) During recess the total jerky jock of our class, named Scott (which is a total jerky jock name), pushed me down and my underwear showed for a whole TWO SECONDS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH !! I hope you didn't wet yourself. I told you it was pretty scary. And just in case you haven't reached full pee your pants scaredness yet, here are some of the runner's up for scariest Melissa moment: When I was in high school I ...

If you don't know what's been going down at My Super Hopeless Romance then, first of all, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? Sheesh, it's all over the Bloggingdom - do you blog from under a rock? Secondly, you don't have to be a Cordy fan (or hater) to read this post. Because, frankly, I don't want to get into all of that over here. But I do want to say that I'm a big devotee of Cordy the character and her very entertaining love life. As a way to show my support, here is a story about a guy who wasn't my best friend that I still had a crush on, even though it wasn't really like Cordy and Seth at all, but it's the closest I have. And just to be clear from the beginning, this is a completely true story (since I have also been known to fib a bit in the name of bloggertainment and apparently that can get you into trouble.) In college there was a guy who I would have totally dated, if it had been an option. His name was Cole (the name is even real, which is going to ...

Today I moved the furniture (I'm feeling better, by the way.) It's almost like we moved to a whole new house! Ok , not really. Even though there was no actual remodeling or moving done, it does make living here a bit more interesting. And that should count for something. Plus, we have had the furniture the same since we moved here - 2 1/2 years ago. That is way too long to have a room set up in only one way. In fact, that is almost like breaking furniture law #327 - "Moving your couch will ease furniture depression, and will result in happier, comfier and bouncier sitting (or laying depending on your couching preferences.)" We must never forget our furniture's feelings. Not only is it a good idea to rearrange things, but you should also make sure to sit equally on each cushion, or that middle one that no one likes is going to get really self-conscious, and possibly suicidal (depending on if it EVER gets sat on and how big the sitter's butt is.) Also, in ou...

I hate when my internet connection suddenly dies. It's like someone just sucked all the air out the room and I'm suddenly on the floor flopping around like a fish who just jumped on a boat full of fishermen by accident and realized what an idiot they were when they took their fishy friends' dare to jump over the 'big floating metal thingy.' Ok, so maybe not quite like that. But it really is annoying to be suddenly left with no connection. Like about 10 minutes ago when I was trying to comment about Jen's earring dilemma . You know you can never rewrite a comment and have it be the same. And you know what else has to do with hate? My left kidney. I know, you totally didn't see that one coming. But it's true. My left kidney hates me. Today it's all like, "Since you had the flu allllllll weekend, and since you're dehydrated from this longer than average and completely torturous flu, I'm going to throw a tantrum and hurt. A lot. Because, he...