Skip to main content

I blame this on Mary

I don't think it is a coincidence.

We have bugs here, but nothing super creepy. And then I read on Mary's blog about her son's love of snails, and then she posted those nasty pictures of the giant slimy things.

And then 2 months later this shows up on our front door.


EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW.

I did notice one last week out on the sidewalk, and I thought, "We've never had slugs before. That's nasty."

But I didn't really think about it until last night. CLEARLY Mary is to blame. (It just took them awhile to get here, because you know, they're slugs.) And guess what, Mary? THEY ARE TRYING TO GET IN. Thanks a lot.


I mean, look at this thing. I wanted to go grab the salt shaker, because killing this would be easy....if I wanted to upset the alien colony of slime that seems to be invading my house.

Like, what if this is just a scout? And he's supposed to look all vulnerable and nonthreatening. And then the huge ones show up with their hard shells and try to suck out my brain because, "look at the stupid human with her camera - we are SO GOING TO GET YOU." This is probably the part where all the evil slimy slugs start doing that loud "take over the world" type laughter.

Or maybe they only use telepathic communication, because it's not like they have real mouths. So they are all laughing evilly inside eachother's heads. Man, that would be annoying. There's always someone in the crowd who laughs louder and longer than everyone else. Could you imagine that going on in your head? Obnoxious.

Anyways, Mary, I don't know what I did to make you want to sick your alien slug minions on me, but could you please take it back?! Because they really creep me out. And I promise to leave you amazingly nice comments from now on. And I'll come wash your car for FREE.

And if the whole nice thing isn't working for you, then I'll pull out my insect commanding powers and send a plague of crickets your way. (Don't even test me - I would totally do that.)


By the way, I lied -just a little bit- and sort of tweaked that last picture in photoshop. The slug was only this big.

But still....

Comments

Barbaloot said…
That is the grossest thing I've ever seen! I don't care if it's smaller than your original picture...it's nasty.
I promise right now to never do anything mean or nasty to your or Mary as I do not want those creatures anywhere near me!
Tiffany said…
GROSS! That looks like a leach! lol
you are awesome.
Tracy said…
Oh my gosh!!!! I had to stop reading because I was so grossed out that it could be that dang big!! And then you 'fess up to tweaking the pic!!!

ROFLOL!

That sounds like my kids...."MOM!!!!There's a HUGE spider in my room!!!!"

Me - "Oh. Come on. How big is it really?"

"HUGE. Like THIS big." (making a circle with their fingers 3 in. in diameter)

And then we go in there and its like - microscopic.
*MARY* said…
I TOLD YOU!!!
I warned everyone about these monsters, and nobody listened to me. You all thought I was crazy. Well, who's crazy now? WHO'S CRAZY NOW?!?!?!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


the answer is you
and maybe a little bit me.
LisAway said…
Mary is way too funny.

I was also SO grossed out by that slug. Your photoshopping/lying and deceiving skills are amazing.

I think the little one's a tiny bit cute. Or maybe that's just after seeing it magnified 3,000 times.
J. Baxter said…
You rock the photo shop! I hail from the land of slugs, and do I have a post coming for you! No one knows slugs like we know slugs...
Tana said…
The funnest thing ever is to pour salt and them and watch them die a slow painful death. Sorry. I don't like slugs!
Anonymous said…
Thank you for that picture because I'm not sure I'm going to be able to eat for the rest of the day. I think you just discovered a secret to losing weight.

You should totally market that.
Miranda said…
WOW...that's a gross. You totally had me on the first picture...totally!

Popular posts from this blog

dream home

I don't really want a 'dream home'. I don't want to settle down in one house to raise my kids and then grandkids and then great-grandkids. I don't want to be trapped within the confines of the same exact walls from this moment until the day I die. The whole idea sounds like torture. Sometimes my house feels like a prison. (Although, I think it may have something to do with the little wardens that keep me from leaving at my leisure.) And once I've lived in one place long enough I just get really really bored. We've been married for 8 years and moved 7 times. I always hate the moving part, but I do like being somewhere new. And the house we're in right now is actually perfect for us. Just the size we need, great neighbors, close to the school, blah blah blah. The only thing is that we're renting and I can't paint the walls. I like painting walls. But for the most part, I really like living here. Granted, we've only lived here for seve...

hair loss and mourning

I like Monkey's hair long.  I tried to grow out Opie's hair when he was younger, but he has always had a tremendously large head, and he also has very thick wavy hair.  You pair those two together, throw in some long locks, and you've got yourself a genuinely bonified giant-head child.  So I've learned my lesson: keep Opie's hair short. But Monkey's hair?  It's so soft, and straight (our only straight-haired child) and super super cute when it's long.  SUPER CUTE.  (Agree with me - it's my blog.)  But not many people liked the whole long hair thing.  I kept having to threaten various family members with things like, "If I come back to find him with short hair I will DISOWN you, run away with my kids and you will never hear from us again.  EVER."  (Husband was particularly sensitive to this threat.) However, I did say that once random strangers started referring to him as a girl, I would consider cutting it.  And even though ...

The Barrel giveaway : Sea and Asters

 As mentioned in this month's issue of The Barrel I'm giving away something from Sea and Asters ! These are the coolest plants.  EVER.  They're low maintenance and look mega-awesome.  I'm totally getting one for myself....as soon as I decide which ONE it is that I love.  (Seeing as they're all uber-mega-awesome, I'm having a hard time deciding on a favorite.) The winner of this giveaway will receive a Hanging Globe Terrarium (worth $25) from Sea and Aster's etsy shop. This giveaway is open to US residents only.  All giveaways associated with The Barrel end on March 15th at 11:59 PM MT. Here's how to enter: 1- For ONE entry: visit Sea and Aster's Etsy shop then leave a comment on this post about which is your favorite product. 2- For another ONE entry you can "heart" Sea and Aster's Etsy shop . (Leave a separate comment telling me that you "hearted" them.) 3- For ONE more entry you can subscribe to The Barrel...