Nov 9, 2008

I blame this on Mary

I don't think it is a coincidence.

We have bugs here, but nothing super creepy. And then I read on Mary's blog about her son's love of snails, and then she posted those nasty pictures of the giant slimy things.

And then 2 months later this shows up on our front door.


I did notice one last week out on the sidewalk, and I thought, "We've never had slugs before. That's nasty."

But I didn't really think about it until last night. CLEARLY Mary is to blame. (It just took them awhile to get here, because you know, they're slugs.) And guess what, Mary? THEY ARE TRYING TO GET IN. Thanks a lot.

I mean, look at this thing. I wanted to go grab the salt shaker, because killing this would be easy....if I wanted to upset the alien colony of slime that seems to be invading my house.

Like, what if this is just a scout? And he's supposed to look all vulnerable and nonthreatening. And then the huge ones show up with their hard shells and try to suck out my brain because, "look at the stupid human with her camera - we are SO GOING TO GET YOU." This is probably the part where all the evil slimy slugs start doing that loud "take over the world" type laughter.

Or maybe they only use telepathic communication, because it's not like they have real mouths. So they are all laughing evilly inside eachother's heads. Man, that would be annoying. There's always someone in the crowd who laughs louder and longer than everyone else. Could you imagine that going on in your head? Obnoxious.

Anyways, Mary, I don't know what I did to make you want to sick your alien slug minions on me, but could you please take it back?! Because they really creep me out. And I promise to leave you amazingly nice comments from now on. And I'll come wash your car for FREE.

And if the whole nice thing isn't working for you, then I'll pull out my insect commanding powers and send a plague of crickets your way. (Don't even test me - I would totally do that.)

By the way, I lied -just a little bit- and sort of tweaked that last picture in photoshop. The slug was only this big.

But still....


Barbaloot said...

That is the grossest thing I've ever seen! I don't care if it's smaller than your original's nasty.
I promise right now to never do anything mean or nasty to your or Mary as I do not want those creatures anywhere near me!

Tiff said...

GROSS! That looks like a leach! lol

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

you are awesome.

Tracy said...

Oh my gosh!!!! I had to stop reading because I was so grossed out that it could be that dang big!! And then you 'fess up to tweaking the pic!!!


That sounds like my kids...."MOM!!!!There's a HUGE spider in my room!!!!"

Me - "Oh. Come on. How big is it really?"

"HUGE. Like THIS big." (making a circle with their fingers 3 in. in diameter)

And then we go in there and its like - microscopic.

*MARY* said...

I warned everyone about these monsters, and nobody listened to me. You all thought I was crazy. Well, who's crazy now? WHO'S CRAZY NOW?!?!?!

the answer is you
and maybe a little bit me.

LisAway said...

Mary is way too funny.

I was also SO grossed out by that slug. Your photoshopping/lying and deceiving skills are amazing.

I think the little one's a tiny bit cute. Or maybe that's just after seeing it magnified 3,000 times.

Jen said...

You rock the photo shop! I hail from the land of slugs, and do I have a post coming for you! No one knows slugs like we know slugs...

Tana said...

The funnest thing ever is to pour salt and them and watch them die a slow painful death. Sorry. I don't like slugs!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for that picture because I'm not sure I'm going to be able to eat for the rest of the day. I think you just discovered a secret to losing weight.

You should totally market that.

Miranda said...

WOW...that's a gross. You totally had me on the first picture...totally!