Skip to main content

two things about hate and something really GREAT - look I rhymed

I hate when my internet connection suddenly dies. It's like someone just sucked all the air out the room and I'm suddenly on the floor flopping around like a fish who just jumped on a boat full of fishermen by accident and realized what an idiot they were when they took their fishy friends' dare to jump over the 'big floating metal thingy.'

Ok, so maybe not quite like that. But it really is annoying to be suddenly left with no connection. Like about 10 minutes ago when I was trying to comment about Jen's earring dilemma. You know you can never rewrite a comment and have it be the same.

And you know what else has to do with hate?

My left kidney.

I know, you totally didn't see that one coming. But it's true. My left kidney hates me. Today it's all like, "Since you had the flu allllllll weekend, and since you're dehydrated from this longer than average and completely torturous flu, I'm going to throw a tantrum and hurt. A lot. Because, hey, you need more pain and suffering. And also, you've watched too many episodes of House and I want you to wonder at what percentage I'm functioning and if you're going to die of kidney failure or if Righty over there will save you. Oh yeah, TAKE THAT." And then it shoots some pain through my side/back/kidney-area again.

See, it hates me.

It's all ticked off because one time I had to have a kidney stone extracted. This surgery is also used as forms of torture in some countries. And Lefty just won't get over it.

And to appease the comments that I'm sure will come - yes, I'm drinking LOTS and LOTS of water. So Lefty should shut up soon....unless he's functioning below 20% or something, in which case, I might die. Someone should call Dr. House.

Oh and one time someone told me that lemonade is supposed to help with kidney stones - which is good (although I'm pretty sure this isn't a stone and just some dehydrated kidney tantrum) because I drank 2 liters of Minutemaid yesterday.

And here's one last thing that has nothing to do with hate.

My little sister and her husband opened an awesome clothing and skate shop on friday. And now I'm going to make this big, to catch LOTS of attention.

Shop at Landslide Clothing.
981 West 8th Street
Pleasant Grove, Utah

And tell them that "Vinnie" sent you. No one will have any idea what your talking about. Which might freak them out a little. Maybe I should think of something more innocent. Maybe tell them that "Fluffles" sent you instead. There, that sounds better.

Comments

Tiffany said…
Ouch, kidney infections are the worst!
I always drink lots of cranberry juice and that usually helps, but antibiotics and narcotic pain killers work even better, mwahahaha...
feel better soon!
Tracy said…
Are you sloshing yet? Every time I get sick my parents bug me to "Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate!" To which I respond, "I'm sloshing! If I drink anymore, I'm going to sound like a giant sea shell with an amplifier blasting out the sound of roaring waves!"

Yeah - that's an exaggeration, but I know you know what I'm talking about.

slosh...slosh...
J. Baxter said…
I'm a multiple-kidney-stone survivor myself. Both stones passed on conference weekends. The April and November conferences of the same year.

Now conference weekends freak me out.

And thanks for the plug! I was totally sad to miss the first awesome comment (and the $100,000,000), but the second one was so hysterical I think I may get over my sense of loss.

It's like you're a healer.

So go heal Mr. Lefty, already. We can't have you dying on us, because then what would we do?
Kidney function is overrated. Besides, don't you only need one? Because people donate good ones all the time. Therefore, I say you do in and demand them to take it out. You can even give permission for them to use it in someone else's body. ooo, sneaky.
Natalie said…
I see Jen beat me to the comment. I was laughing at the irony that not only did you mention her earring dilemna, but you mentioned kidneys and when I think of kidneys I think of Jen. It was like you gave her a shout out twice in the same post.
You're always good for a laugh.
Heather said…
You have sarcoidosis!
Don't drowned in the water you are drinking! lol

PS the address is St. Street too not 8th. I'll be listening out for Vinnie or Fluffles. You might freak some of the people that work here out. lol
Miranda said…
You are HI-LAR-E-US, you brighten my day (jazz hands)
Claire said…
Cranberry Juice? Hope your kidney gets better! At least you're loyal to your blog throughout your ailments!
Randi said…
teeheehee... you named your kidney!
annie valentine said…
I had a kidney stone the size of Texas. They went in and blasted it to bits. I hope your kidney gets his act together pronto, he can be replaced.

Popular posts from this blog

I am an artist.

I really am. But not one of those deeply moving, "what do you mean you don't understand my painting, it's BLUE" kind of artists.  I'm more like one of those "oh hey, a pen and a napkin, doodle doodle doodle" kind of artists.  Because I do it for fun.  And yeah, for money.  But still.  Fun....most of the time. But I feel like branching into new mediums.  Do you know how long it's been since I painted?  Like with something other than finger paints or the kids' water colors where all the colors are mixed so they just come out brown anyway? It's been awhile.  I've been itching to paint for months. I've also wanted to let Monkey loose on a canvas for awhile.  He's not like my other kids (who all carry mine and Husband's arty genes) who like to draw endless pictures of unicorns, princesses, transformers or dinosaurs.  Monkey likes to feel his art.  He'll probably end up being one of those deeply moving types.  And I'

I won't be offended if you answer NO to the question at the end of this post

So this post will probably lose me a lot of respect and friends and possibly even a few phone calls to the Health and Welfare department. But I just feel like posting it, it's kind of like saying it outloud, but without having to watch someone's face react to the horror. And today, I really feel the need to say it outloud. So if you read this and don't feel like being friends anymore, I get it. With everyone's kids going back to school (and our school district being the last to start in the entire world, so I'm still sitting here dealing with summer child overload) I keep reading the posts about how mothers are sad to see their kids go, and how much they're going to miss them, and how much they absolutely love motherhood. Want me to tell you what I think about motherhood? I hate it. There are times when I hate it more than any other thing on the planet. And there goes most of my friends. But I'm sorry. I do. I hate being a mother. I don't hate my c

I'm not fat, my scale just hates me.

That's what it is. It's probably an evil scale anyway.  Always lying to me.  Telling me I'm fat. The worst part about it is that the scale has also convinced all the mirrors in my house to play along.  And I know it got my pant size on board ages ago.  It's also managed to get the camera to cooperate, even though I treat that camera like one of my dear precious children.  And this evil, hateful scale has attached a big mound of blubber right on my midsection. Well guess what scale - I hate you too. ***************************************************** I think showers are a waste of time. You get in just to get all wet, emerge dripping, get a nice clean towel wet, redress yourself, figure out something to do with your crazy 'just got wet and now it's going to dry ultra fuzzy, don't even think about using a blowdryer' hair, and put on all the makeup that you just washed off even though your mascara could probably have passed for a whole extra d