Oct 27, 2008

two things about hate and something really GREAT - look I rhymed

I hate when my internet connection suddenly dies. It's like someone just sucked all the air out the room and I'm suddenly on the floor flopping around like a fish who just jumped on a boat full of fishermen by accident and realized what an idiot they were when they took their fishy friends' dare to jump over the 'big floating metal thingy.'

Ok, so maybe not quite like that. But it really is annoying to be suddenly left with no connection. Like about 10 minutes ago when I was trying to comment about Jen's earring dilemma. You know you can never rewrite a comment and have it be the same.

And you know what else has to do with hate?

My left kidney.

I know, you totally didn't see that one coming. But it's true. My left kidney hates me. Today it's all like, "Since you had the flu allllllll weekend, and since you're dehydrated from this longer than average and completely torturous flu, I'm going to throw a tantrum and hurt. A lot. Because, hey, you need more pain and suffering. And also, you've watched too many episodes of House and I want you to wonder at what percentage I'm functioning and if you're going to die of kidney failure or if Righty over there will save you. Oh yeah, TAKE THAT." And then it shoots some pain through my side/back/kidney-area again.

See, it hates me.

It's all ticked off because one time I had to have a kidney stone extracted. This surgery is also used as forms of torture in some countries. And Lefty just won't get over it.

And to appease the comments that I'm sure will come - yes, I'm drinking LOTS and LOTS of water. So Lefty should shut up soon....unless he's functioning below 20% or something, in which case, I might die. Someone should call Dr. House.

Oh and one time someone told me that lemonade is supposed to help with kidney stones - which is good (although I'm pretty sure this isn't a stone and just some dehydrated kidney tantrum) because I drank 2 liters of Minutemaid yesterday.

And here's one last thing that has nothing to do with hate.

My little sister and her husband opened an awesome clothing and skate shop on friday. And now I'm going to make this big, to catch LOTS of attention.

Shop at Landslide Clothing.
981 West 8th Street
Pleasant Grove, Utah

And tell them that "Vinnie" sent you. No one will have any idea what your talking about. Which might freak them out a little. Maybe I should think of something more innocent. Maybe tell them that "Fluffles" sent you instead. There, that sounds better.


Tiff said...

Ouch, kidney infections are the worst!
I always drink lots of cranberry juice and that usually helps, but antibiotics and narcotic pain killers work even better, mwahahaha...
feel better soon!

Tracy said...

Are you sloshing yet? Every time I get sick my parents bug me to "Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate!" To which I respond, "I'm sloshing! If I drink anymore, I'm going to sound like a giant sea shell with an amplifier blasting out the sound of roaring waves!"

Yeah - that's an exaggeration, but I know you know what I'm talking about.


Jen said...

I'm a multiple-kidney-stone survivor myself. Both stones passed on conference weekends. The April and November conferences of the same year.

Now conference weekends freak me out.

And thanks for the plug! I was totally sad to miss the first awesome comment (and the $100,000,000), but the second one was so hysterical I think I may get over my sense of loss.

It's like you're a healer.

So go heal Mr. Lefty, already. We can't have you dying on us, because then what would we do?

the MomBabe said...

Kidney function is overrated. Besides, don't you only need one? Because people donate good ones all the time. Therefore, I say you do in and demand them to take it out. You can even give permission for them to use it in someone else's body. ooo, sneaky.

Natalie said...

I see Jen beat me to the comment. I was laughing at the irony that not only did you mention her earring dilemna, but you mentioned kidneys and when I think of kidneys I think of Jen. It was like you gave her a shout out twice in the same post.

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

You're always good for a laugh.

Heather (n.) An organized mess. said...

You have sarcoidosis!

Jaron and Michelle said...

Don't drowned in the water you are drinking! lol

PS the address is St. Street too not 8th. I'll be listening out for Vinnie or Fluffles. You might freak some of the people that work here out. lol

Miranda said...

You are HI-LAR-E-US, you brighten my day (jazz hands)

Claire said...

Cranberry Juice? Hope your kidney gets better! At least you're loyal to your blog throughout your ailments!

JustRandi said...

teeheehee... you named your kidney!

Annie Valentine said...

I had a kidney stone the size of Texas. They went in and blasted it to bits. I hope your kidney gets his act together pronto, he can be replaced.