In the spirit of Columbus Day -yes, there's a spirit about it, can't you feel it?- I thought I would teach Curly and Screamer all about Columbus and his discoveries. And then they could go to their preschool and kindergarten class and when the teacher asks, "Who knows who Columbus is?" they could raise their little chubby hands and look supremely intelligent and tell everyone that I had taught them. And then their teachers would say, "Your mother is SOOOO wonderful and amazing and SUPER SUPER SMART!!" And then someone would probably write a song about me....or something. I'm not sure - I hadn't planned it beyond the adoring praises. But I knew that it was going to be awesome.
Except that I couldn't really remember what Columbus did.
Because, clearly, I am a horrible horrible person with no regard for history. And I also have a really bad memory. And because I probably haven't thought about Columbus since my own days in Elementary School.
I did take an AP History class in high school and didn't totally flunk out. Actually the teacher had this thing for well written essays, and I just happened to write excellent high school level essays, so I did manage an A in there. But when it came time for the AP test, the one where you can get college credit, there was no magic essay writing abilities that were going to get me through that thing. Ugh.
But I had to tell my kids something about Columbus, so I told them that he was the one that proved that the world was round and not flat. And then we went into great detail about how Earth is like a ball spinning through outerspace (it also helped that we had just watched a cartoon on this very subject over the weekend.)
So see, it was a science lesson. History, shmistory.
And I sure hope that their teachers atleast mentioned something about how he discovered the Americas, so that my kids don't remember my lame attempt at a lesson. And SEE, I do really know what Columbus did (once Husband reminded me of the details.)