Oct 8, 2008

bumper stickers

I'm a Foxtrot FANATIC! Ok, not really. I wouldn't be able to do the foxtrot if I had 20 years worth of lessons, or even if they put me on Dancing With the Stars and I had a bubble butted foxtrotting expert of a partner. I have the coordination of a newborn duck. It's a known fact (which you would know, if you ever saw me try to dance.)

But I know there is a foxtrot fanatic somewhere in my great city, because I saw him driving around the other day. And I know this about him because his license plate cover that told me so.

As I sat stuck behind the fanatic for 4 red lights (in a row- it was cruel.) I was thinking about license plate covers and bumper stickers, and then I was thinking about WHY people have license plate covers and bumper stickers. Do people really think that we as a society actually CARE enough to know that you like to foxtrot?

Or what about those mega sports fans who have plastered their car with paraphenelia from a team across the country - you look like a doofus. Especially when there is a closer-by team that has mega fans that would probably like to flip your car over or something that mega sport fans actually do to their rivals (I was just guessing, I'm not really sure what they would do, but I saw that on a movie once.)

The only ones that I kind of get are the honor student bumper stickers. But only because of the pride it would give your child. But then, a couple years after you slap it on your bumper, you go to sell that car and can't get the stupid sticker off. And the person wanting to buy your car doesn't actually have a student at St. Steve's Catholic Middle School for Boys (total fake school name) so then they don't buy your car. So that's why I still would never put an honor student bumper sticker on my car.

I think it is also really stupid to put an election sticker on your car. Elections only last so long, people. Imagine driving around in a car with a "Ross Perot Election '96" tattooed on your bumper. That's just embarrassing.

But the worst is when someone has covered their car in offensive and rude stickers. And it's almost impossible to stop at a red light and NOT read the car in front of you when they're so brightly displayed. Usually I read one, totally regret it, and then try to avert my eyes (usually to the light where I think "turn green....turn green...turn green..." over and over until my Matilda like powers kick in and the light actually turns green. It's really great to have super powers, I just wish they were more useful, you know, like flying, or super strength, but hey atleast I can eventually turn lights green, right?)

So here's my question: When sticking a license plate cover or sticker on your car, do you feel empowered? Do you think, "I cannot live another day unless I inform the world that I like to foxtrot?" Do you really think that I care?! Because I don't, and I don't think the person in the car next to me does either.

(And when I say "you" I don't necessarily mean YOU, I mean it in a general term referring to those who actually do this, which could be you, I don't know, and even if I like you, I probably still don't like your bumper stickers, sorry, but feel free to put them on anyway, you know, it's a free country, and God gave us free agency, which gives me the right to not like bumper stickers and still like you.)


the MomBabe said...

Oh geez. If I ever defaced my car with a bumper sticker I think my husband would divorce me. But I secretly want vanity plates. Even though I'm sure all the good ones are taken. but a girl can still dream.

LisAway said...

I love me a really clever bumper sticker when I'm stuck in traffic. There aren't quite as many of those as there should be, though.

Still, I would never use a bumper sticker, even if it was the very most clever and funny thing I'd ever heard in my life. So you can like me a little extra.

*MARY* said...

We're not a bumper sticker family. But when I was in elementary school I got a D.A.R.E. bumper sticker and was so mad at my dad for not putting it on the car. I thought maybe he is secretly a drug dealer. I still haven't ruled that out.

Claire said...

I don't know if this counts, and I may be controversial in saying it, but I HATE those 'baby on board' signs. Or 'Toddler on board'. Or 'cheeky monkey on board'. I have no real reason to hate them, but it gets me annoyed. It's like telling the world "I can reproduce". Or suggesting to me that I'd drive differently now that I know the car in front has a cargo of little people in it. I wouldn't. I'm always a good driver, and keep a safe distance.

I like the rude ones..:)

Me said...

I couldn't agree more. I always look at peoples personalized plates and have similar thoughts as well. I've never understood what the point is. Most of the time its some random abbreviation that is only significant to the driver..making it nowhere near funny or entertaining to the rest of us.