Skip to main content

ugh.....my blog

If you have visited my blog between the times of 9:45 AM and......I'll let you know when I'm done....you'll have noticed that I'm having major layout issues. Total headache giving layout issues.

First of all, I have to say that I. HATE. CODE.

I took a class in college where we made little html coded tables. Happy tables. Easy ones. A total breeze, these html tables. I thought I could handle a little blogger code.

Not even close.

And what the heck is xml? How is it different than html? Why is it even in there? And why does that stupid fly that got into our house last night keep landing on my forehead?!! It's like the world is out to get me (in a coded, fly landing way.)

This all started because I wanted ads. Cool ones. I had fun signing up for different ads thinking things like, "Wooo-hoooo, KB Toys!" and "Oh yeah, this one is about BRAS!" Yeah it was fun. And I have to admit that my favorite ad is the "Develop Your Psychic and Intuitive Abilities" one. It is RAD.

Just to warn you, I am going to develop my psychic abilities and then invade of all your minds so that you blog ONLY about me. Good stuff too. Nothing rude like, "What's up with that Melissa idiot and her total lack in code deciphering skills? Sheesh what a moron."

So for my new ads I wanted to put them in their own column, so they wouldn't take over the better stuff in my regular column (like that cool picture montage of myself!) I didn't think it would be too much to ask for a 3 columned blog.

Was it too much?

Apparently, YES.

And now that I have the stupid 3 columns working, I can't get my header to reload. I don't know why. I've been through that code 53 BILLLLLLION times. Why won't it let me load a header?

Also, why can't I apply a cool background? I wanted to customize my blog since, you know, I was messing with code and layout stuff anyway.

Yeah, apparently that's really asking for too much.

And now everything reeks of the pugnant odor of crappy, ad-filled, header-less blog.

UGH.

And in case you were wondering, this has not only resulted in ughy blogginess, but also very POOR parenting.

My younger kids napped right through the time I was supposed to leave and pick up my older kids from school. And I was so lost in tags (you know, these little things < >) that I didn't notice the time.

When I went to pick my Kindergartner up -ONLY 15 minutes after school got out- she was the the last child there, standing outside with a couple teachers, WAITING. Luckily no one asked me why I was so late - I was cooking up a good lie, just in case. Because really, what was I supposed to say, "Oh, you were just about to take my daughter to the office to call and ask why I forgot her at school? Yeah, I was too busy putting psychic and bra ads on my blog to remember that I had kids. Sorry."

Comments

Tracy said…
I know you don't know me - I'm Tracy and I just blogged about blog troubles the other day. I just HAD to comment because I've SOOOOO been there. I feel your pain.

Good luck! I enjoy your blog.

Mine's at www.wevebeenmarriedhowlong.blogspot.com
Heather said…
That fly keeps landing on you because it's a barn fly, not a house fly. That means it's out to suck your blood, rather than sop up molecules of your food with those gross little puke tongues they have. Flies are .the. .nasty.

Also, I realize you are an adult... married with kids and such... but sometimes it strikes me... MELISSA is old enough to be married and have kids? WHAT?

And then I remember that I'm going to be 30 in 3 weeks and I cry.
annie valentine said…
I am totally impressed with you. I didn't even know what code meant until I read this blog. I am kind of "can't figure out how to post a photo on my sidebar" stupid.
*MARY* said…
I really like it, when I came to your blog I thought oh how cute. I didn't know ducks and spirographs went together so well.
Dude, I can help you. for realios. how bout I send you a basic 3 column template and you can just switch out the backgrounds you like? I can even give you access to my photobucket account of digital scrapbook papers... if you're interested, or course.
LisAway said…
Ooo, the Mombabe has your back! Excellent.

We all feel your pain. Maybe not exactly the same sensation in the same spot (although I'm pretty sure it's almost always the rear end) because I've never messed much with html, but trying to make your blog do what you want it to? Not easy!!
Looks great, though!
J. Baxter said…
Yeah. You are way cool. You are cool enough to use words (well, letter combinations anyway) like html. These kind of things scare me. If someone gave me a book that titled "Understanding HTML's For Dummies" I would run screaming in the other direction. I don't even want to know.

So yes, I have occasionally longed for three colums, but there is no way on earth it will ever happen on my blog.

So you rock. You and your three-colum-headerless blog. Can we be friends?
Wonder Woman said…
I used this website: http://www.sjhblogdesign.blogspot.com/

I haven't tried a background, but I know she tells you how to. But using mombabe's thing sounds a LOT easier.

I was up till 3 am changing my blog to 3 columns. I feel ya. But I like it!!

Popular posts from this blog

I am an artist.

I really am. But not one of those deeply moving, "what do you mean you don't understand my painting, it's BLUE" kind of artists.  I'm more like one of those "oh hey, a pen and a napkin, doodle doodle doodle" kind of artists.  Because I do it for fun.  And yeah, for money.  But still.  Fun....most of the time. But I feel like branching into new mediums.  Do you know how long it's been since I painted?  Like with something other than finger paints or the kids' water colors where all the colors are mixed so they just come out brown anyway? It's been awhile.  I've been itching to paint for months. I've also wanted to let Monkey loose on a canvas for awhile.  He's not like my other kids (who all carry mine and Husband's arty genes) who like to draw endless pictures of unicorns, princesses, transformers or dinosaurs.  Monkey likes to feel his art.  He'll probably end up being one of those deeply moving types.  And I'

I won't be offended if you answer NO to the question at the end of this post

So this post will probably lose me a lot of respect and friends and possibly even a few phone calls to the Health and Welfare department. But I just feel like posting it, it's kind of like saying it outloud, but without having to watch someone's face react to the horror. And today, I really feel the need to say it outloud. So if you read this and don't feel like being friends anymore, I get it. With everyone's kids going back to school (and our school district being the last to start in the entire world, so I'm still sitting here dealing with summer child overload) I keep reading the posts about how mothers are sad to see their kids go, and how much they're going to miss them, and how much they absolutely love motherhood. Want me to tell you what I think about motherhood? I hate it. There are times when I hate it more than any other thing on the planet. And there goes most of my friends. But I'm sorry. I do. I hate being a mother. I don't hate my c

I'm not fat, my scale just hates me.

That's what it is. It's probably an evil scale anyway.  Always lying to me.  Telling me I'm fat. The worst part about it is that the scale has also convinced all the mirrors in my house to play along.  And I know it got my pant size on board ages ago.  It's also managed to get the camera to cooperate, even though I treat that camera like one of my dear precious children.  And this evil, hateful scale has attached a big mound of blubber right on my midsection. Well guess what scale - I hate you too. ***************************************************** I think showers are a waste of time. You get in just to get all wet, emerge dripping, get a nice clean towel wet, redress yourself, figure out something to do with your crazy 'just got wet and now it's going to dry ultra fuzzy, don't even think about using a blowdryer' hair, and put on all the makeup that you just washed off even though your mascara could probably have passed for a whole extra d