Skip to main content

good reasons to be agoraphobic

By
Sometimes it's scary to go outside because you never know when a flock of Canadian geese are going to fly over head.  Because, as you know, birds don't stop to use little birdy facilities.  They just let it go.  And who wants to get hit with projectile goose poo?  Not me.

Greasy non-washed hair looks so much better under incandescent bulbs versus sunlight.

All that natural fresh air out there is over rated.  Why breath that in when my children have fragranced our house so lovingly with the smell of poop and sweaty socks?  Plus, we live near-ish a dairy farm, so if the wind is blowing it's really more just a matter of which kind of poop you want to smell.  At least inside I have a Scentsy burner and an entire brick of "Skinny Dipping."

There are rabid wolves out there....somewhere in the world.

I might accidentally get a tan and then I'll have to buy an actual nightlight since my skin won't glow in the dark anymore.

But mostly...

I don't like to leave my house because I have to take all the kids with me.  And they are so much easier to manage when there are walls containing them.

Sometimes, if I actually venture away from my house, people will see me and say, "Wow, I haven't seen you in SO LONG."  And I say, "Yeah, I know, I never leave my house."  And then they laugh, because they think I'm joking.

It's not a joke.

There really is projectile goose poo and rabid wolves out there.

Comments

LisAway said…
And to think I've been spending all these years feeling guilty for staying home every day. There are all these reasons I obviously knew somewhere in my subconscious (otherwise why would I be staying home?) but I didn't think of them until you typed them out. Thanks so much for that.
20.3.10
Wonder Woman said…
I have yet to go to Walmart with all three. And I only have 3.
20.3.10
Emmy said…
I glow too even though I go outside :)
20.3.10
Cynthia said…
Ah, yes. I remember when it was just too darn much work to get everyone out of the house. I'd do my grocery shopping at midnight at Walmart (SCARY!) just to be able to leave the house ALONE.

Hey- how are the preemie twins doing? I don't recall seeing an update. I hope they are growing well.
20.3.10
Heather said…
Awww, glowing in the dark.... I feel your pain. haha. I'm considering a knee length wedding dress but I don't want to blind everyone with my neon white legs.
21.3.10
Rhonda said…
Heather-pantyhose!!

I have always felt the same way. It's just easier to contain the children in the house.
21.3.10
Claire said…
True story. I have the fear of death rise within me at the thought of having to be out in public with the kids...
21.3.10
prashant said…
Thanks so much for that.
home based data entry
10.4.10
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I am an artist.

By
I really am. But not one of those deeply moving, "what do you mean you don't understand my painting, it's BLUE" kind of artists.  I'm more like one of those "oh hey, a pen and a napkin, doodle doodle doodle" kind of artists.  Because I do it for fun.  And yeah, for money.  But still.  Fun....most of the time. But I feel like branching into new mediums.  Do you know how long it's been since I painted?  Like with something other than finger paints or the kids' water colors where all the colors are mixed so they just come out brown anyway? It's been awhile.  I've been itching to paint for months. I've also wanted to let Monkey loose on a canvas for awhile.  He's not like my other kids (who all carry mine and Husband's arty genes) who like to draw endless pictures of unicorns, princesses, transformers or dinosaurs.  Monkey likes to feel his art.  He'll probably end up being one of those deeply moving types.  And I'...
14 comments
Older Posts >>

I won't be offended if you answer NO to the question at the end of this post

By
So this post will probably lose me a lot of respect and friends and possibly even a few phone calls to the Health and Welfare department. But I just feel like posting it, it's kind of like saying it outloud, but without having to watch someone's face react to the horror. And today, I really feel the need to say it outloud. So if you read this and don't feel like being friends anymore, I get it. With everyone's kids going back to school (and our school district being the last to start in the entire world, so I'm still sitting here dealing with summer child overload) I keep reading the posts about how mothers are sad to see their kids go, and how much they're going to miss them, and how much they absolutely love motherhood. Want me to tell you what I think about motherhood? I hate it. There are times when I hate it more than any other thing on the planet. And there goes most of my friends. But I'm sorry. I do. I hate being a mother. I don't hate my c...
22 comments
Older Posts >>

dream home

By
I don't really want a 'dream home'. I don't want to settle down in one house to raise my kids and then grandkids and then great-grandkids. I don't want to be trapped within the confines of the same exact walls from this moment until the day I die. The whole idea sounds like torture. Sometimes my house feels like a prison. (Although, I think it may have something to do with the little wardens that keep me from leaving at my leisure.) And once I've lived in one place long enough I just get really really bored. We've been married for 8 years and moved 7 times. I always hate the moving part, but I do like being somewhere new. And the house we're in right now is actually perfect for us. Just the size we need, great neighbors, close to the school, blah blah blah. The only thing is that we're renting and I can't paint the walls. I like painting walls. But for the most part, I really like living here. Granted, we've only lived here for seve...
10 comments
Older Posts >>