The other day I taught my kids how to play "slug bug" in the car.
Although I'm pretty sure everyone on the planet is required to know what this game is, there might be someone somewhere who doesn't know, so here are the rules:
1- See a Volkswagon Beetle of any year
2- Punch your nearest neighbor and say "Slug Bug Yellow!" (or whatever the color of the Volkswagon Beetle you see.)
3- You have to punch your neighbor before they punch you (hence the "slug" part of the game).
4- I can't remember why you have to do it first. You just do. So punch first, ok?
When Two Bits got confused and asked why anyone would ever want to play "Slug Bug" I very expertly told her, "Because it's fun to punch people." And that was the end of the questions.
I also taught them what a "perdiddle" was.
I don't even know how to spell "perdiddle". And since my spell check is going all highlighty (like it does on the word "highlighty") I'm thinking I'm way off, but really don't care how it's spelled.
If you grew up under a rock or had some sort of deprived childhood and have no idea what a "perdiddle" is either, here are the rules:
1- See a car with one headlight out
2- Kiss your hand
3- Hit the ceiling of the car
4- Say "perdiddle!!"
5- Do it before anyone else in the car. Because you get to keep score on this one. And perdiddle semi's count for about 10 points. Unless you're playing with your husband and then they count 20 for you and -5 for him.
("Perdiddle" is always a good game to play with a boyfriend because you can say that the points are worth actual kisses, or minutes kissing. And then your boyfriend will lose on purpose, and let you get tons and tons of points, because then you'll be kissing him a long time, and it's not like that really makes him a loser at all. It's not such a fun game to play once your married though. Unless the points equal butt-kissing minutes in which you can force your husband to do rubbing your feet, or washing toilets.)
Since it was still light ourside and the kids couldn't really play "perdiddle" they asked if there were any more fun car games where they got to hit stuff and yell. But I didn't know any. So I thought it would be fun to think of my own car game.
Now you can teach your kids "Smart Fart" next time you're trapped in the car with them. It's gonna be great. Here are the rules:
1- See a Smart Car
2- Yell, "Smart Fart Blue" (Or whatever color the car is that you see.)
3- And then - NO, NOT FART. Because eeeeew. Punching people is one thing. Farting is a whole other matter. - you put your thumb on your forehead and spread your fingers apart which is the official international sign of "it wasn't me."
4- If you're the last one to make the "it wasn't me" sign after seeing a smart car, then everyone else gets to make smelly jokes about you all they want.
See? It's great!