Skip to main content

goat eyes will get you in trouble EVERY TIME

By
I have this talent, it's a gift really, that I very much enjoy sharing with the general public. It's kind of one of those talents that can't not be shared with others.

I have the amazing ability to open my mouth really wide and insert my foot all the way up to my ankle.  You know, metaphorically speaking, because it's not like my mouth is actually big enough to swallow my whole foot.

I went on a field trip to the zoo with Monkey's preschool class the other day. And I was hanging out with one of the other moms while we were there. I had never met this other mom before, but we were getting along pretty well.  Like, if I were to grade myself on social skills just then, I would have given myself a solid B+ (which is about as good as it gets for me).

That is, until we passed the goat feeding pen.  'Cuz that's when my amazing talent started kicking in.

I turned to new mom-friend and I said, "Let's avoid the goats, they totally freak me out."

And she said, "Whatever, they're not that bad."

And I said, "Yeah, until they look up at you with their nasty, CREEPY, weird pupil-y eyes."

And then she said, "Actually my son has eyes like that, its a birth defect."

And then I wasn't quite sure what to say because I was so busy gagging on my foot.

So I pretty much ended up giving myself an F for the whole encounter, even though things seemed to sailing along fine in the beginning.

But at least I can gain joy from knowing that I'm sharing this tremendous talent with the world., right?

Comments

Elisa said…
That. Is. Muy. Bueno.
5.5.11
Wonder Woman said…
Umm..........there is no way the awkwardness of that encounter was your fault. If I were the other mom, I would've kept MY mouth shut. you were just trying to be funny, not say that her kid had creepy eyes.

Once when Ralph Nader was running for pres, I joked about the name "Ralph." I mean, do we REALLY want a president named "Ralph?" Guess who was sitting next to me.

My co-worker, Rachel RALPHS.

(And yes, I knew her last name. I blame pregnancy brain.)
5.5.11
LisAway said…
Such a bummer that you couldn't have just gotten that awkward moment out of the way at the beginning of your hanging out. Like, seeing the boy and telling her that you were freaked out by the kid's nasty, creepy, weird pupil-y eyes. Then she wouldn't have been at all surprised that you didn't like the goats. And you could have given yourself an A.
6.5.11
Rachel Sue said…
Wait, you can do that trick too? I thought it was just me! :)
6.5.11
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I am an artist.

By
I really am. But not one of those deeply moving, "what do you mean you don't understand my painting, it's BLUE" kind of artists.  I'm more like one of those "oh hey, a pen and a napkin, doodle doodle doodle" kind of artists.  Because I do it for fun.  And yeah, for money.  But still.  Fun....most of the time. But I feel like branching into new mediums.  Do you know how long it's been since I painted?  Like with something other than finger paints or the kids' water colors where all the colors are mixed so they just come out brown anyway? It's been awhile.  I've been itching to paint for months. I've also wanted to let Monkey loose on a canvas for awhile.  He's not like my other kids (who all carry mine and Husband's arty genes) who like to draw endless pictures of unicorns, princesses, transformers or dinosaurs.  Monkey likes to feel his art.  He'll probably end up being one of those deeply moving types.  And I'...
14 comments
Older Posts >>

I won't be offended if you answer NO to the question at the end of this post

By
So this post will probably lose me a lot of respect and friends and possibly even a few phone calls to the Health and Welfare department. But I just feel like posting it, it's kind of like saying it outloud, but without having to watch someone's face react to the horror. And today, I really feel the need to say it outloud. So if you read this and don't feel like being friends anymore, I get it. With everyone's kids going back to school (and our school district being the last to start in the entire world, so I'm still sitting here dealing with summer child overload) I keep reading the posts about how mothers are sad to see their kids go, and how much they're going to miss them, and how much they absolutely love motherhood. Want me to tell you what I think about motherhood? I hate it. There are times when I hate it more than any other thing on the planet. And there goes most of my friends. But I'm sorry. I do. I hate being a mother. I don't hate my c...
22 comments
Older Posts >>

I'm not fat, my scale just hates me.

By
That's what it is. It's probably an evil scale anyway.  Always lying to me.  Telling me I'm fat. The worst part about it is that the scale has also convinced all the mirrors in my house to play along.  And I know it got my pant size on board ages ago.  It's also managed to get the camera to cooperate, even though I treat that camera like one of my dear precious children.  And this evil, hateful scale has attached a big mound of blubber right on my midsection. Well guess what scale - I hate you too. ***************************************************** I think showers are a waste of time. You get in just to get all wet, emerge dripping, get a nice clean towel wet, redress yourself, figure out something to do with your crazy 'just got wet and now it's going to dry ultra fuzzy, don't even think about using a blowdryer' hair, and put on all the makeup that you just washed off even though your mascara could probably have passed for a whole extra d...
17 comments
Older Posts >>