It's 2:30 AM, and I'm fairly certain there will be no sleeping for me tonight. Not for any of the usual reasons, like I'm working, or have a puking kid, or locked in the steamy embrace of my Swedish lover, Sven.
OH NO, none of those are why I won't be sleeping. Not just because I don't actually have a Swedish lover named Sven, but because I am absolutely, truly, insanely TERRIFIED.
There I was, in bed, lolling off to sleep, like regular people are known to do at 2:00 in the AM, when, without warning, the stereo in the living room TURNED ITSELF ON.
It turned on.
All by itself.
And not just a little bit. OH NO, it came on in the most blazingly obvious of possible ways by playing the radio at an irregularly loud volume.
At 2:00 AM.
While I'm home without a husband.
Who, by the way, is totally useless to me over the phone when he should be HERE to calm down my uber-freak-out. (Plus, I had to call him 4 times before he picked up the phone, which was a huge deal on my part seeing as my hands were shaking too much to properly push the call button.)
So here are the facts:
A) House full of sleeping kids, and almost sleeping me.
B) All the doors are locked, all the windows shut.
C) Stereo remote dismantled on armoire, completely lacking batteries (and has been in this state for 3 days).
D) Stereo last used on auxiliary setting to watch Netflix before bed, yet comes on - ON IT'S OWN - in radio setting.
F) Have owned stereo for 10+ years, without any past freakiness.
Only other factor?
G) Me, COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT.
Hence, no sleep tonight.
And further more, if I did have a Swedish lover named Sven, I'm absolutely positive he could protect me from nerve wracking stereo experiences while my husband is away.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I have some more freaking out to do.