I have this talent, it's a gift really, that I very much enjoy sharing with the general public. It's kind of one of those talents that can't not be shared with others.
I have the amazing ability to open my mouth really wide and insert my foot all the way up to my ankle. You know, metaphorically speaking, because it's not like my mouth is actually big enough to swallow my whole foot.
I went on a field trip to the zoo with Monkey's preschool class the other day. And I was hanging out with one of the other moms while we were there. I had never met this other mom before, but we were getting along pretty well. Like, if I were to grade myself on social skills just then, I would have given myself a solid B+ (which is about as good as it gets for me).
That is, until we passed the goat feeding pen. 'Cuz that's when my amazing talent started kicking in.
I turned to new mom-friend and I said, "Let's avoid the goats, they totally freak me out."
And she said, "Whatever, they're not that bad."
And I said, "Yeah, until they look up at you with their nasty, CREEPY, weird pupil-y eyes."
And then she said, "Actually my son has eyes like that, its a birth defect."
And then I wasn't quite sure what to say because I was so busy gagging on my foot.
So I pretty much ended up giving myself an F for the whole encounter, even though things seemed to sailing along fine in the beginning.
But at least I can gain joy from knowing that I'm sharing this tremendous talent with the world., right?
I have the amazing ability to open my mouth really wide and insert my foot all the way up to my ankle. You know, metaphorically speaking, because it's not like my mouth is actually big enough to swallow my whole foot.
I went on a field trip to the zoo with Monkey's preschool class the other day. And I was hanging out with one of the other moms while we were there. I had never met this other mom before, but we were getting along pretty well. Like, if I were to grade myself on social skills just then, I would have given myself a solid B+ (which is about as good as it gets for me).
That is, until we passed the goat feeding pen. 'Cuz that's when my amazing talent started kicking in.
I turned to new mom-friend and I said, "Let's avoid the goats, they totally freak me out."
And she said, "Whatever, they're not that bad."
And I said, "Yeah, until they look up at you with their nasty, CREEPY, weird pupil-y eyes."
And then she said, "Actually my son has eyes like that, its a birth defect."
And then I wasn't quite sure what to say because I was so busy gagging on my foot.
So I pretty much ended up giving myself an F for the whole encounter, even though things seemed to sailing along fine in the beginning.
But at least I can gain joy from knowing that I'm sharing this tremendous talent with the world., right?
Comments
Once when Ralph Nader was running for pres, I joked about the name "Ralph." I mean, do we REALLY want a president named "Ralph?" Guess who was sitting next to me.
My co-worker, Rachel RALPHS.
(And yes, I knew her last name. I blame pregnancy brain.)