May 23, 2010

martian bugs

Have I ever mentioned my love of Hulu?  I love Hulu.

The other evening I'm watching Hulu, but I've run out of Ghost Hunter shows and episodes of House.  Which is a pretty big tragedy.  Because without some kind of Hulu viewing paired with crocheting of newly purchased yarn, I'm almost certain I'd go insane.  (My love of yarn is like psycho-therapy.  Plus I came up with this super cute and awesome -in my opinion- pattern for girls dresses/shirts that I want to start selling on Etsy...seeing as my Etsy store has always been sooooo successful.)

So I started digging through Hulu listings, looking for something interesting.  And did you know you can watch really old episodes of Outer Limits?  Ok, not REALLY old ones, but from when they re-introduced the show in the 90's (which, to me, seems like a loooooooooooooooooong time ago.  I was still stupid and optimistic in the 90's...and the hairstyles make me want to gag.)

I watched the first episode of Outer Limits which was about these giant, intelligent, fanged bugs from Mars.  This crazy scientist man -with a hideous ponytail- was raising them in his barn.  Just as they were attacking his family and setting up basecamp in his basement, I had to pause the show so I could compare the shirt I was currently crocheting with the one I made previously. 

The finished shirt was sitting on my bed.  And I always watch Hulu in my closed bedroom (otherwise it wouldn't be therapeutic at all, it would just be constantly interrupted by small children in a very non-sanity-preserving way.) 

The big alien bugs, and their horrible 90's CGI, were sort of creeping me out because I have this severe hatred for all things creepy and crawly.  So when I picked up that shirt off of my bed, WHERE I SLEEP, and saw the abnormally massive, had to be like an inch long, ant crawling on it I had no choice but to fling the shirt across the room and scream for Husband like a little girl.

That ant was huge.  And those alien bugs sort of looked like ants.  And now all I can think about is big bugs every time I get in bed. 

Luckily I have a brave husband who can kill giant bugs with ease and effectiveness.  Which is mostly why I married him.  I had a pretty thorough bug killing test that was administered to all potential mates back when I met Husband.  It was the third most important thing on my list of 'future husband qualities'.  (It came right after "avid church goer" and "must not have third eyeball growing out of forehead.")

Except that he refuses to stay awake all night to make sure no giant bugs crawl on me while I sleep.  Which I think is kind of rude.

On  a completely different note - since my massive wake-up call/shelf shattering incident, I have tried really super extra way hard to be over the top nice to my children.  And Opie's behavior has been remarkably better.  He's still Opie, but it's amazing the difference it's causing. 

Who knew that being nice to your kids would make them behave better?  It's shocking!!  I'm sure no one has ever written a book about that.  I think I'll write my own book about it.  I'm going to call it "If You Don't Scream at Your Kids, They Won't Scream Back."  And inside that's all it will say.  Maybe I'll repeat it a few times.  But it's a pretty simple concept, so I don't think I would really need to go into detail. 

And you know, I'm really surprised no one has ever thought of being nice to their kids before.  It's so revolutionary.  I must be brilliant - otherwise how would I have come up with it only 6 years after becoming a parent?!

Sidenote number two: I did something cool to my head yesterday.  I took a picture.  It's still on the camera.  So you'll probably see it when I am being non-sunday lazy (I mean, resting on the day of rest) and get it uploaded.  And just so you know it doesn't involve the color purple....although it almost did.


Barbaloot said...

I keep wishing they'll put old episodes of Boy Meets World or Saved by the Bell on hulu. Someday...?

Wonder Woman said...

I really, really heart Hulu. Except I have to watch it in the office part of our living room and so I have kids interrupting all the time. You're right -- it doesn't preserve sanity. Just makes me yell at the kids. Which makes them yell. You know, I think you're really on to something today.

On a more serious note, have I mentioned "The Potentially Sane Mother's Guide to Raising Young Children" to you? It's by Tamara Fackrell. If you've got a Seagull/Deseret Book nearby, I HIGHLY suggest buying it. Yes, buying it. I checked it out from the Provo Library then actually BOUGHT it because I loved it so much. Another book: The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman. It's made me look at my children and parenting style differently.

Freakin' can't want to meet you this weekend. I'll only be at the "mocktail" party.

Loralee and the gang... said...

OK so I have to tell you what I tell my kids...they are only bugs, and you are way bigger tahn it, so just squish it! (If only it were that easy, right?) and chances are that you'll never see another one in your bed, either.

Bethany Hegerhorst said...

You did a fantabulous job! It feels good to laugh. I'm glad to find you!