Skip to main content

martian bugs

Have I ever mentioned my love of Hulu?  I love Hulu.

The other evening I'm watching Hulu, but I've run out of Ghost Hunter shows and episodes of House.  Which is a pretty big tragedy.  Because without some kind of Hulu viewing paired with crocheting of newly purchased yarn, I'm almost certain I'd go insane.  (My love of yarn is like psycho-therapy.  Plus I came up with this super cute and awesome -in my opinion- pattern for girls dresses/shirts that I want to start selling on Etsy...seeing as my Etsy store has always been sooooo successful.)

So I started digging through Hulu listings, looking for something interesting.  And did you know you can watch really old episodes of Outer Limits?  Ok, not REALLY old ones, but from when they re-introduced the show in the 90's (which, to me, seems like a loooooooooooooooooong time ago.  I was still stupid and optimistic in the 90's...and the hairstyles make me want to gag.)

I watched the first episode of Outer Limits which was about these giant, intelligent, fanged bugs from Mars.  This crazy scientist man -with a hideous ponytail- was raising them in his barn.  Just as they were attacking his family and setting up basecamp in his basement, I had to pause the show so I could compare the shirt I was currently crocheting with the one I made previously. 

The finished shirt was sitting on my bed.  And I always watch Hulu in my closed bedroom (otherwise it wouldn't be therapeutic at all, it would just be constantly interrupted by small children in a very non-sanity-preserving way.) 

The big alien bugs, and their horrible 90's CGI, were sort of creeping me out because I have this severe hatred for all things creepy and crawly.  So when I picked up that shirt off of my bed, WHERE I SLEEP, and saw the abnormally massive, had to be like an inch long, ant crawling on it I had no choice but to fling the shirt across the room and scream for Husband like a little girl.

That ant was huge.  And those alien bugs sort of looked like ants.  And now all I can think about is big bugs every time I get in bed. 

Luckily I have a brave husband who can kill giant bugs with ease and effectiveness.  Which is mostly why I married him.  I had a pretty thorough bug killing test that was administered to all potential mates back when I met Husband.  It was the third most important thing on my list of 'future husband qualities'.  (It came right after "avid church goer" and "must not have third eyeball growing out of forehead.")

Except that he refuses to stay awake all night to make sure no giant bugs crawl on me while I sleep.  Which I think is kind of rude.

On  a completely different note - since my massive wake-up call/shelf shattering incident, I have tried really super extra way hard to be over the top nice to my children.  And Opie's behavior has been remarkably better.  He's still Opie, but it's amazing the difference it's causing. 

Who knew that being nice to your kids would make them behave better?  It's shocking!!  I'm sure no one has ever written a book about that.  I think I'll write my own book about it.  I'm going to call it "If You Don't Scream at Your Kids, They Won't Scream Back."  And inside that's all it will say.  Maybe I'll repeat it a few times.  But it's a pretty simple concept, so I don't think I would really need to go into detail. 

And you know, I'm really surprised no one has ever thought of being nice to their kids before.  It's so revolutionary.  I must be brilliant - otherwise how would I have come up with it only 6 years after becoming a parent?!

Sidenote number two: I did something cool to my head yesterday.  I took a picture.  It's still on the camera.  So you'll probably see it when I am being non-sunday lazy (I mean, resting on the day of rest) and get it uploaded.  And just so you know it doesn't involve the color purple....although it almost did.

Comments

Barbaloot said…
I keep wishing they'll put old episodes of Boy Meets World or Saved by the Bell on hulu. Someday...?
Wonder Woman said…
I really, really heart Hulu. Except I have to watch it in the office part of our living room and so I have kids interrupting all the time. You're right -- it doesn't preserve sanity. Just makes me yell at the kids. Which makes them yell. You know, I think you're really on to something today.

On a more serious note, have I mentioned "The Potentially Sane Mother's Guide to Raising Young Children" to you? It's by Tamara Fackrell. If you've got a Seagull/Deseret Book nearby, I HIGHLY suggest buying it. Yes, buying it. I checked it out from the Provo Library then actually BOUGHT it because I loved it so much. Another book: The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman. It's made me look at my children and parenting style differently.

Freakin' can't want to meet you this weekend. I'll only be at the "mocktail" party.
OK so I have to tell you what I tell my kids...they are only bugs, and you are way bigger tahn it, so just squish it! (If only it were that easy, right?) and chances are that you'll never see another one in your bed, either.
Sport Princess said…
You did a fantabulous job! It feels good to laugh. I'm glad to find you!

Popular posts from this blog

GIVEAWAY (of the photo Christmas card variety)

I think I just creeped out my four year old. I pulled out the, "You'd better go to bed because Santa's Elves are watching you to make sure you're being good!" routine. His eyes got big, and round, and scared. And he said, "Why would they do that?!" Also, our church building burned down yesterday. No wait, it didn't. But the alarm went off, and the entire ward just sat there in the chapel (and gym, because we have an enormous ward.) I sat there too. I don't know what everyone else was thinking, but the thought going through my head was, "Can somebody please get that alarm turned off, it is WAY TOO LOUD!!!!" Seriously, I think our ward is now 37% deafer after that. Oh, and there was no actual fire. And the first fire truck to show up was driven by one of our ward members who was on duty that day. Good times. And now, that GIVEAWAY: For procrastinators everywhere (that would include me) I'm giving away one free photo Christmas card d...

hair loss and mourning

I like Monkey's hair long.  I tried to grow out Opie's hair when he was younger, but he has always had a tremendously large head, and he also has very thick wavy hair.  You pair those two together, throw in some long locks, and you've got yourself a genuinely bonified giant-head child.  So I've learned my lesson: keep Opie's hair short. But Monkey's hair?  It's so soft, and straight (our only straight-haired child) and super super cute when it's long.  SUPER CUTE.  (Agree with me - it's my blog.)  But not many people liked the whole long hair thing.  I kept having to threaten various family members with things like, "If I come back to find him with short hair I will DISOWN you, run away with my kids and you will never hear from us again.  EVER."  (Husband was particularly sensitive to this threat.) However, I did say that once random strangers started referring to him as a girl, I would consider cutting it.  And even though ...

so here's the thing...

I have to make an announcement. But it's not one that I'm thrilled to make. For the past week I've been ignoring it so that, like the proverbial dog, it will just GO AWAY. Honestly, the odds of it just going away are slim to fat-chance, so I should just announce it already. I'm moving. To Utah. Every time I think about it, I also think I'm going to throw up. I know there's a lot of people who like living in Utah, so I don't want to offend anyone, but I HATE UTAH. Direly. And when I moved away a decade ago I vowed never ever ever ev-er to move back.  EVER.  ( Motherboard told me last week to never make that vow because then God HAS to force you to move back - - too bad her warning is about 10 1/2 years too late.) So now, I'm sure you're asking yourself, "If you hate it so bad, why are you moving?"  Which is an excellent question. Husband got a new job.  With real live actual benefits (jobs without benefits are, shall we ...