May 12, 2010

serious stuff

I've decided we need to seriously declutter our house.  For the past few months I feel like I've been living in chaos.  Like my life is completely out of my hands, and I'm just running to catch up with it.  And as I sit here looking around, it's no wonder I feel so out of control all the time - we live in CLUTTER HEAVEN.

This is going to take a lot of work.  With time that I don't really have.  A large portion of the chaos in my life is that I have about 2 billion things to do, and each day I have deadlines.  Usually I'm so caught up in one deadline that I almost miss the next.  But I really think it would be worth the time (and major effort, and multiple trips to DI) to get my house more organized, with a whole lot LESS STUFF.

LESS STUFF.

Just those words make me feel better.  But I need to keep the momentum going once I start, so I should probably hang signs in every room of the house.  The signs will just say "less stuff."  And then I won't want to quit and go back to chaos, right?  Hopefully.

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Monkey is having eye surgery on thursday morning (we like having expensive eye issues in this family.)  This will be his second.  He had his first surgery a little over two years ago.  And it's pretty likely that this won't be his last.

Poor little Monkey.  His eyes have caused problems since birth.  I asked the Dr what she thought happened.  She said it's probably that the nerve attached to the top muscle of his right eye never developed.  So she has to relax the top muscle of his good eye so that he can use them together better.  Right now when he uses both eyes he has to tilt his head really far to see straight.  And before his first surgery his right eye was always low and his left eye was completely crossed.

This surgery will make it so he can't look all the way up without moving his head.  And we already know that he won't have regular depth perception.  And I'm pretty sure the nerve to his bottom eyelid on that same eye is having some of the same issues.  It's always been droopy, but lately it's gotten droopier.  It makes me wonder if in the next few years he'll need some kind of plastic surgery on it....or something?  I don't know what they do with droopy bottom eyelids.

I wish I could fix all his problems.  Which I guess is what the surgery is supposed to do.  But it seems like a really horrible way to do it.  It would be so much easier if I had magical powers.

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I was going to write a Mother's Day post about how I always feel disappointed because I never get anything, and no one brings me breakfast in bed like in tv commercials.  But after I grabbed a bowl of cheerios and headed back to bed, feeling ugh-ish about the whole holiday, my mom sent me a text message.

I went to high school with a girl named Jenni Bennion.  She wasn't a close friend, but we had a lot of the same friends so sometimes we went to the same parties or ate lunch in the same group.  I remember her being really nice.  She played the main girl in the musical that year - The Music Man.  I went to every performance, so I got to see her doing a really great job, multiple times.

I didn't see her after high school until one day in Beehive Clothing.  It was a few months before I got married.  Jenni was pregnant with her first baby.  I remember that she told me how she wanted to have all of her kids 18 months apart.  I remember this because, at the time I thought she was out of her mind, and then I ended up having 4 kids in 5 years.  She did have 4 kids, but not every 18 months.  And she lived in my Mom's ward.

Jenni died a few days before Mother's Day.

I don't know details.  My mom said she didn't come to church often, because she was sick.  Something that involved memory loss, major headaches, and other brain related problems.  My mom isn't a very gossipy woman, so that's all she knew.  But the details aren't really important anyway.

What's really important is that her 4 kids lost their mother, and there I was feeling sorry for myself as I ate Cheerios in bed listening to my own kids giggle over their Trix in the kitchen.

How stupid I am.

I'm so lucky.  And blessed.  And happy to be a mother, and alive.

6 comments:

Wonder Woman said...

Magical powers would be nice for SO many reasons. Sorry Monkey has to have surgery.

I didn't get breakfast in bed. In fact, I kept trying to push Superman out of bed to just get cereal for the boys, but he couldn't make himself get out of bed. So I did it. He took a nap that afternoon while I did dishes and cooked dinner.

But I'm alive. My kids smothered me with kisses all day and couldn't stop telling me "Happy Mudder's Day!" I just figured that Mother's Day was a good day to do my normal mom stuff.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Oh, golly--well, that really does put things into perspective, doesn't it? And sorry about Monkey. And honestly, when your kids get a little older, Mother's Day gets better--promise!

Barbaloot said...

What a sad story. It's not the most pleasant dose of reality when we get it that way, is it?

I hope Monkey's surgery goes well!

Rachel Sue said...

1. I hate clutter. We just took an entire truckload to DI and I still feel like every surface in my house is over flowing with junk. It's driving me nuts.

2. Moms should have magical powers. THey just should.

3. I'm so sorry. That really is a reality check. Every once in a while I get one of those and it makes me stop taking for granted everything that I have. (For a little while at least.)

Jen said...

We are very much clutter bugs. I try to just hit a hot spot (desk, top of fridge, etc) now and then to assuage my guilt.

I'm sorry about your friend!

Loralee and the gang... said...

Thank you. It's all back in perspecitve now. Even though our lives are all filled with problems, at least we are here, with our children, and we need to cherish each and every precious day.