Oct 6, 2010

horror movies

I don't understand why they never make horror movies about sabre tooth tigers living in your garage.  I think a movie like that would be terrifying.  Because the threat is so incredibly real.

Just picture it:

You have to get into your minivan in the middle of the night.  Rummaging through the front seat for that important scrap of paper you wrote on, and then forgot about, and then lost.  The best rummaging involves legs halfway sticking out of the open door, and lots of distracted leaning. 

As you dig and lean, the sabre tooth tiger silently stalks around the boxes of old baby clothes and Christmas decorations. 

And then suddenly:
CHOMP.

Your dead.

Totally real threat.  And even if you make it back into the house mostly unscathed, you're going to hear the sabre tooth tiger bumping around in the garage, probably punching walls in hungry frustration.

It's better just to wait until daylight to go rummaging through the minivan in the garage, since that's when the tiger returns to it's lair or cave or whatever.

Speaking of horror movies, I watched Amityville 3D last night (although I really didn't see anything 3D about it).  It was so very very LAME.  Of course it was made in 1983, so it's not like they had state of the art digital effects to throw in.  But their ghost hunting thermal imaging device?  How embarrassing.  The robotic demon puppet that came shooting out of the "portal to hell" at the end?  So so so very lame. 

In completely different news: I'm officially going blind.  Ok, technically the official blindness started when my glaucoma kicked in.  But now it's all sorts of serious.

I saw my eye dr yesterday.  My non-surgeoned eye has been causing problems (more than usual) the past few weeks, so it was no surprise that the pressure was at an all time high.  I go in for a visual field test on friday.  Which is basically when you look into this dome, stare at a dot, and push a button every time you see a little shimmer of light.  It tests for blind spots.  I'm expecting to bomb it.  In fact, when they get the print out, it will probably just say "You're officially going blind!" in bold, and possibly italics.  And then the machine will probably give me a high five, because seriously, HOW AWESOME.

8 comments:

Kristina P. said...

That would be a pretty awesome horror movie. Although, I think Twilight fills the void. Have you seen Edward? Creepy as hell.

Melanie Jacobson said...

Yeah, I linked to you today and this post totally proves my point.

LisAway said...

So I thought the hyperrealistic saber-toothed tiger story was horrific until I came to that last part. Oh Sheesh, Melissa. That's like a suspense horror. Please keep us (or at least me!) up to date. Ugh.

RhondaLue said...

LOL @ tiger. I'm worried about your eyes! :(

Barbaloot said...

I think any movie involving sabre toothed tigers would be frightening.

So sorry to hear about your eyes! I hope you pass the test. Or fail it? Whichever one means you're not going blind.

My Life as a Real House Wife said...

I think that sounds like a dumb movie! lol But when I was little I'm sure it would hae scared me to death and I would've been so happy we didn't have a guarge. Remember when you told me that creepy story of the guy living under I was terrified for years and would run and throw myself on the bed so the person under the bed couldn't get me. lol

Anyways good luck on your visual field tomorrow! My favorite part is when they are like ok you can start the test now and you're like I know but I can't see anything. It's a great confidence booster!

Jen said...

I'm sorry for your eye. I hope the doctors can help it before the tiger gets you.

Rachel Sue said...

Or a horror movie about big spiders. . . . oh, wait. . .