Apr 17, 2009

why I don't believe in evolution

Aside from the obvious, like God outranking Darwin (which makes me more inclined to believe God's creation story versus Darwin's), I have a couple really great theories on why evolution is ridiculous.

PREHENSILE TAILS

Where did they go? Lesser intelligent monkeys have them, but you get to the apes and chimps and there are no tails to be found. So science expects us to believe that years and years of disuse led to the shedding of a tail out of non-necessity?

Have you seen how much little monkeys use those things? A tail is like a 5th appendage - it's in constant use. Why would nature get rid of it? It just seems foolish.

What I wouldn't give for a prehensile tail.

Wanna know why else I think evolution is a bunch of hooey?

OPPOSABLE TOES

A chimpanzee can peel a banana using only it's feet while picking fleas off it's neighbor with it's hands. I have a hard time believing that's not a skill humans could use.

How many mothers do you know wishes she had more than two hands? Especially for banana peeling. And think about how easy french braiding would be.

So see, when you think about it logically, evolution just seems stupid.

Although I really wouldn't have minded if God created me with a bit longer toes so that it made picking things off the floor with my feet easier. A tail wouldn't have been a bad idea either.

7 comments:

wonder woman said...

I actually have what a friend has affectionally called "monkey toes." I've been known to pull weeds with them while chatting on the phone and watching the kids play outside. And to pick things up off the floor if my hands are full, or I'm feeling weird.

Tails would definately be useful! And if we'd always had them we wouldn't think they looked weird on humans. Think of all the disciplining you could do. Moms have eyes in the back of their head, but to have a TAIL for the enforcing would be marvelous!!! And think of being in the car!!! You could actually hand your kids their sippy cup or a toy from your bag and have both hands on the wheel.

Darwin was definately an idiot. Moms need tails and opposable toes. And if we really "got rid" of things we didn't need, why do we still have appendixes?

wonder woman said...

p.s. too bad you live in ID. If you lived in Utah, I might actually come clean your house. I'm not a "real" cleaner, but for some reason, I enjoy cleaning other people's house. I know. I'm a freak.

Rachel said...

Totally with you on this one. One hand/foot for each child. It's the perfect ratio.

Jen said...

Your deep thinking astounds me. I have no doubt that NASA will soon be calling. Get ready for that...

LisAway said...

Wow. You really need to get involved in the scholarly discussions going on about this subject.

Wonder woman, too. That is one terrific comment.

RhondaLue said...

I actually have things I like to call "finger toes". They're like long fingers attached to my feet. Akward? yes! Useful? That too!

As far as tails go, I'd like to have a big ol' kangaroo-like tail. That might actually help me stay balanced. I have an orthostatic hypotension problem (low blood pressure when standing so I get faint and unbalanced) and I kinda sorta tip over occasionally, not usually all the way over. Just enough to look drunken. Funny? probably to people who watch me lose my balance just standing there!

Alison Wonderland said...

Dude, you're my new favorite blogger.

And sign me up for a freaking tail!