Apr 13, 2009

complaints turned positive

Mother nature is surely a moment away from striking, because everything is getting on my nerves today. But I won't let PMS get me down - I'm going to pull a Polly Anna and see if I can turn each of my annoyances into something positive. (We'll see how it goes, I'm not making any promises.)

A few minutes ago I planted a couple new flowers in front of my house. Except that I couldn't find a shovel, or a trowel, or even a plastic scooper from my kids' beach buckets. So I had to dig holes for the new flowers with a spoon. And my biggest spoon wasn't even clean, so I had to use the smaller one and the handle kept bending because the ground here is a mixture of clay and rocks. But hey, new flowers! And I haven't had a chance to kill them off yet (plants have a low survival rate around here....so do frogs.)

I got those new flowers at the grocery store this morning. Except that I had to take all of my kids with me to the store, which is something I try to avoid whenever possible. Our grocery store has those miniature carts for little kids to push around. My kids like to sprint with them and slam into displays and run over strangers' toes. And that's with Monkey strapped into the front of my cart, and Number Four in her carseat in the basket of my cart (rendering my cart completely useless, by the way.) But Opie had to take a snack to school, and we still don't have a magic pantry that automatically produces the exact food you want each time you open it, so we really had to go to the store.

We made it through to check out, and the very not busy cashiers were all hanging out at the same stand. So I went there. One of the other cashiers bagged my stuff. Nice, right? Sure. Except that they were having a private conversation the entire time we stood there. Of course they probably thought I wasn't listening because I kept yelling, "Don't touch the gum. Quit running in circles around the cart. No, you can't eat that. Please get your hand out of your pants." But what those cashiers didn't realize is that I am very well practiced in the art of scolding and listening simultaneously.

The cashier bagging my groceries is going to have an ultrasound to find out the gender of her baby. You know, in case you see her, you might want to check to make sure her worries of having a cross-legged stubborn child were unnecessary.

So I pay for everything while still eaves dropping and yelling at my kids, and then realize that no one put the bagged groceries in my cart. Or my kids' carts. Which would have been a very lovely thing to have had done. So I had to push my kids out of the way and arrange myself around the multiple carts to put bags in all the small available spaces all while the two idle cashiers are contemplating unknown baby parts. Except that now Johnny the bagger boy has joined in. And, um, isn't it a bagger boy's job to load groceries back into carts? ISN'T IT?

I'm still not done with the grocery store part, so I don't have to turn it into a positive just yet.

We get out to the car. Not a small task with the maniacal sprinting miniature shopcart crashing children in tow. I tell everyone to get in their seats and buckle up. Saying this is mostly useless because only one of my four children can actually buckle herself in. But I was hoping for at least some of the "get in your seat" action. Monkey had other plans. Which included throwing things out of the van while I transferred the groceries in.

This was very frustrating, so I growled, "Stop it, you little......uggggghhhh."

It ended in an "ugghh" because at that same moment a happy older couple walked up to their car, next to us.

Smiling old lady says, "Oh boy, you have your hands full!"

Snarling me says back, "Oh, you think so, lady?!!"

Ok, not really. She got a short courtesy smile, I'm sure it looked slightly snarly. But the positiveness that came from our trip to the store was that I had the ingredients to make sandwich snails and fruit ladybugs for Opie's snack, which beats the usual crackers and raisins they get on most days. (And I got to restock on diet soda to get through the rest of my day.)

My last grievance was a work out. An unwanted one. It was naptime. Number Four didn't want to be left alone while Monkey was put in bed, and Monkey can't be left alone for fear of total destruction. So I had to carry the baby -who now weighs over 20 pounds- up the stairs to put Monkey in bed. Then I had to carry her back down the stairs to get her a bottle. And then we went back upstairs so I could rock her and put her in bed. But I realized that her binky was downstairs on the piano, so I had to carry her back down. And finally I carried her back up the stairs and got her to sleep. And then I decided to just throw myself back down the stairs because my legs were feeling a bit of a burn and I am incredibly lazy. But I never have time to fit in a real workout, so at least I got some mandatory thigh toning for today.

My posts always end up insanely long. This probably annoys you. You could complain, but if you were Polly Anna you would have to admit that it's great spending so much time reading about my day.


Jen said...

I love your dirty spoons, your wild children, and your bubbly, Pollyanna-esque personality. Mostly because I have my own dirty spoons, wild children, and occassional non-Pollyanna-like PMS.

And I happen to love insanely long posts - as long as they're insanely amusing.

RhondaLue said...

I must be Polly Annaish because I do enjoy long amusing posts!

Speaking of checkout clerks er whatever..my MIL is caucasian but her fam is from the colonies in mexico. So that means she's a white chick fluent in espanol. (I don't know how to put the enyay swishy swirl thing over the N, apologies) and one time some Hispanic girls were talkin' smack about her in Spanish and she stood there for a moment just listening and then finally retorted back in Spanish. I would have paid to see the look on those shocked snotty girls' faces! ha ha

RhondaLue said...

I guess that had nothing to do with anything but I felt like sharing. :)

Barbaloot said...

I kept expecting the good news grocery part to be that you found cheap Easter candy!

Nice work on the work-out:)

Rachel said...

I know how you feel. The grocery store with 4 children is akin to torture. And they really need to invent a cart that will fit a carseat and a toddler AND groceries. That would be wonderful. . .

wonder woman said...

1. Love your new spring bubble-blowing header.

2. Reading these last posts made me think that you and Rachel need to read each other's blogs -- she's got four 5 and under, too. Then I realized she's already here. Yay!

3. It won't always be so crazy. I do not speak from experience, but just what I've been told.

4. I'm glad you got more diet soda.

5. Mini shopping carts of of the devil. I'm sure they're great for well-behaved children, but technically, those kinds of kids shouldn't need distractions at the grocery store. Good kids would hold onto the cart at all times, and pick food from the bottom shelf when mom asks them. I am personally a fan of the race car carts, where the kids are still sitting up at the top. You can even balance a carseat on the end, and have THREE kids in the cart at once. And still have the entire basket for food. Tis marvelous.

I love you, Missy B. I hope you can sleep in soon. Or find someone to watch some of your kids for an afternoon.

Annie Valentine said...

I am currently annoyed at all older people who offer a patronizing smile and give comments like, "Oh, some day you'll miss this!" Because you know what? I won't I will never miss taking all my kids to the grocery store and then having the baby blow her pants in aisle five. Never.

(Okay, I haven't done the button thing because I keep forgetting. But you are awesome and I love you and I'm just really forgetful. But the button rocks. Well also because she hasn't given me the okay that people can put it up on their sidebars...)