Skip to main content

luckily

So have you seen those memes about googling the word "unfortunately" coupled with your name? I'm thinking this has been going on awhile, because when I googled mine a whole bunch of other bloggers named Melissa came up. So I decided to google "LUCKILY MELISSA" instead. (It was a totally creative switcheroo, I tell you.)

Luckily, Melissa is single-handedly changing that perception. (Which is really my calling in life, right? Don't ask "what perception?" it's totally irrelevant.)

Luckily Melissa had a vibrant blue Sharpie for me to sign with. (I would be nothing without a vibrant blue sharpie.)

Luckily, Melissa ducked and narrowly saved her life. (Phew, I know!!)

Luckily, Melissa was having a “good boob day.” (So that's not news- it happens EVERY day. Oh wait, it says 'good' boobs, not 'saggy' boobs. Nevermind.)

Luckily Melissa had handled all the logistics. (Not such a good idea, in fact, that's truly terrifying...)

Luckily Melissa & Dennis had lots of kids in the wedding party to enjoy the rain! (I swear it was Dennis's idea.)

Luckily Melissa and I are dorks. (Ok, who said that?!!!)

Luckily, Melissa is able to regurgitate a joke from a Laffy Taffy wrapper about a sheep and Ty dissolves into a fit of giggles. (My talents are unending.)

Melissa was making a beef lasagne. (Nope, sorry, those are tacos.)

Luckily, Melissa had been hypnotized before, so when I began the induction, she slipped quickly into a trance state. (I told you there were psychos out there to get me!)

Luckily, Melissa has the maturity Franny lacks. (I don't know who Franny is, but I highly doubt this can be true.)

Luckily Melissa provides just as good a conclusion to the story as I could hope for. (ALWAYS! You remember who we're talking about, right? I'm the BEST with conclusions. And beginnings. And you know....the filler crap.)

THE END.
(See, it's good.)

Comments

Barbaloot said…
How many kids were in this wedding party? And whose were they? Sounds sketchy to me...
Rhonda said…
that was GREAT!
J. Baxter said…
Your ending rocked.

And we are dorks, aren't we???
Natalie said…
I insanely love this. I may have to steal it and call you my muse. Google here I come.
Claire said…
Hahahaha... classic. i'm goig to have to do this with my own measly name.
annie valentine said…
Luckily, Melissa has a really good blog.

Popular posts from this blog

GIVEAWAY (of the photo Christmas card variety)

I think I just creeped out my four year old. I pulled out the, "You'd better go to bed because Santa's Elves are watching you to make sure you're being good!" routine. His eyes got big, and round, and scared. And he said, "Why would they do that?!" Also, our church building burned down yesterday. No wait, it didn't. But the alarm went off, and the entire ward just sat there in the chapel (and gym, because we have an enormous ward.) I sat there too. I don't know what everyone else was thinking, but the thought going through my head was, "Can somebody please get that alarm turned off, it is WAY TOO LOUD!!!!" Seriously, I think our ward is now 37% deafer after that. Oh, and there was no actual fire. And the first fire truck to show up was driven by one of our ward members who was on duty that day. Good times. And now, that GIVEAWAY: For procrastinators everywhere (that would include me) I'm giving away one free photo Christmas card d

The Barrel giveaway : SNIS Handmade Leather Goods

As seen in this month's issue of The Barrel I'm giving away one leather keychain or bracelet from SNIS . Their keychains crack me up.  In a really good way.  Like, if I was to ever have a grumpy day (like every day) and I see something like that on my keychain, then I doubt I'll be able to scream at my kids as well. Also, good news!  Even those of you who don't win can get 15% off everything in their shop!  Just enter the code: THEBARREL to get the discount. If you win this giveaway you get to choose the bracelet or keychain out of SNIS's etsy shop (and they have a bunch to choose from): All giveaways associated with The Barrel end on March 15th at 11:59 PM MT. Here's how to enter: 1- For ONE entry: visit SNIS's etsy shop then leave a comment on this post about which is your favorite product. 2- For another ONE entry you can "heart" SNIS's etsy shop. (Leave a separate comment telling me that you "hearted" them.)

snow day

Yesterday was a "snow day".  As in, it snowed 6+ inches overnight so the school district called all the parents at 5:00 AM with a recorded message in Spanish telling them the schools were closed. Yes, I said AT 5:00 AM.  IN SPANISH.  I'm pretty sure we still speak English in the U.S. even if it's well before dawn.  I didn't answer my phone so my voicemail recorded it all, it was a pretty long message for such a short topic.  I mean, they could have just said, "SNOW DAY!" and all the parents would be like, "OK!"  And then we could all get back to our sleeping.  But no.  Long Spanish message.  (At 5 AM.) A few minutes after hearing the phone go off I checked the message just in case someone had died or something (since that's pretty much the only time someone SHOULD call me that early).  I had no idea what the message said in my half-asleep state, but I coudln't go back to sleep so finally I woke up for real and listened again.  I h