...and my two year old screams like a banshee in a blender. Do I even need to mention that I also have a headache? Or is that purely assumed?
I was just making fruit tray for a ward baby shower tonight, cutting up bananas, but only partially able to see (because, you know, twitching eyelid.)
Opie runs to my side and demands, "Give me a banana!!" (We're huge on manners here, clearly my kids are picking up on that.)
I tell Opie that he can't have a banana because I am taking them with me to the party, which causes him to instantly collapse to the floor in a fitful rage.
"I don't want you to go!!! Don't leave!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" he says.
More screaming and raging ensue.
"You can't go!!!!" he says.
Screaming, crying, kicking of feet.
And then he yells, "You can't go and take my bananas!!!!"
It's a good feeling to know that your most desirable parenting ability is to hand out bananas. I'm sure there wouldn't even be a problem if I had been chopping cauliflower.
Speaking of Opie -the little darling- he's been surprising me every time he opens his mouth (and not just with his utter lack in manners and self-restraint.) Yesterday I was smearing some peanut butter sandwiches together for lunch when we had this conversation:
Opie: "God made our bodies?"
Me (thinking they must have talked about this in primary recently, therefore giving a lighthearted answer): ""Yup, everyone gets a body."
Opie (totally serious): "But why?"
Me (a little thrown off with the direction this is going): "Because our spirits need bodies."
Opie: "How did our bodies get here?"
Me (feeling completely unprepared for a conversation of this magnitude): "Your body grew in my tummy, and then your spirit came to live in that body, and then you were born, and your spirit is still in your body right now!"
I capped off the statement with a big grin and his sandwich, hoping the conversation was over for awhile until I could think of something better to say. But Opie wasn't done.
Opie (with his most confused face on): "God made our bodies, but I grew in your tummy?" As in, my four year old just made the connection that God didn't literally assemble his body, even though everyone has been telling him that He did.
It was a bit awkward and we didn't have much time to go into the whole creation of Adam and Eve thing.
So yeah, here he is: Opie the Transformer loving, non-potty going, philosophical four year old with a mean left hook.
It's just going to get harder, isn't it?
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He's very cute, by the way. Even for a non-potty-going four year old.
And ummmm...yah. It only gets harder. ;) (that's not to say kiddie tantrums are cake though, certainly NOT!)
I'm totally anal about giving out bananas. I'm alwyas afraid that constipation will ensue, that a doctor will need to be called out, that suppositaries will be involved, and the child involved will be too afraid to ever go for a number two again, beginning a life long problem with eating and pooping.
They're allowed one a day. That's all. Cos to be quite honest, I just can't be assed with any of the above.