I just sat my husband down, and looked at him as seriously as possible, and said, "I want lots of money. So you need to figure out how to supply me with cash, RIGHT NOW."
AND HE LAUGHED.
Except that I wasn't even joking. At all.
I should have married a brain surgeon. They make lots of money.
Wait. Scratch that. Brain surgeons have to go through lots of expensive medical school, and they also have to, like, work. And stuff.
I should have married someone independently wealthy that inherited his billions of dollars from the death of an obscure relative.
If only I had a time machine.
Or access to an alternate realty.
Or just lots of money of my own.
IN OTHER NEWS....
Last spring, when we first got our ipad, my kids kept secretly recording videos of themselves. And while I think multiple movie clips of sustained farting noises are as hilarious as the next fully grown adult female (which basically means they're not really that funny) I had to delete most of the videos. But there was one that we all find to be particularly hilarious.
Probably because there are no farting noises at all in this one. And the angle is great, because they just sat the ipad on a chair so the camera was pointed up their noses the whole time. And also, do you see how my old house had vaulted ceilings? (I still miss my old house.....sniff.)
So, yeah, here you go - a video of my children's secret recording session: