Sep 10, 2011

bugs, hackers and Bollywood

I'm pretty sure that Cereal (our pet praying mantis) is the dumbest insect of his species. He's all huge because he shed his skin, which was super really gross, and came out about half an inch longer than before.  And he must have shed some brain cells too, because now he's just an idiot.

Cereal loves to hang out at the top of his bug habitat, upside down.  Husband says this is normal for praying matises (praying manti?)  But over the past week-ish, he keeps falling from his ceiling perch.  And then he clambers back up, just to fall down again.

See? He's DUMB.

I'm thinking we need to get him some special praying mantis lessons.  Something along the lines of "How Not to Fall On Your Head, IN 3 EASY STEPS!"

Or maybe we just need to get him a little buggy harness, with an automated pulley system. 

We're wondering if he's sick or dying or something.  But he still seems to be eating ok.  Last night he ate a whole cricket in about 90 seconds.  Except that instead of hunting it down like praying mantises usually do, he just fell on it and then started chomping.


I had to de-hack Green Jello with Carrots yesterday.  Which, I'm surprised I actually pulled off, but told everyone I managed due to my supreme intellect.

But it made me realize something: Hackers are girlfriendless jerkfaces who need to move out of their mom's basements and get a real life outside of Japanese anime and Middle Earth.

I mean, I realized this BEFORE, but now I just really really hate hackers.


Someday I want to attend an Indian wedding and have henna tattoos up my arms and wear the head thing and a sari and everything.  As far as I can tell from all the Bollywood movies I've watched, Indian weddings are awesome.

And sometimes I have fantasies of meeting a famous Bollywood actor during a vacation in Goa; of course he'd fall instantly in love with me and sing me a song that's only half in English while he dances around on the beach in white jeans. 

These fantasies usually only happen when I'm severely sleep deprived.


Our water here tastes gross. 

I just can't get used to it.


Rachel Sue said...

Nothing on this planet compares to Idaho water.

Barbaloot said...

Totally just saw that Bollywood video! Unless they're all the same with guys in white jeans dancing on the which case, I totally just saw A Bollywood video.

Melanie Jacobson said...

I want an Indian wedding. I also want to go to black church.

Candela said...

Maybe Cereal needs a girlfriend. You know... men cant life without women :P

Cynthia said...

Don't get Cereal a girlfriend unless you want him dead. Seriously. After mating, female Praying Manti (?) often behead their suitor as a parting gift. Guess once they get the DNA they don't have any use for the fellas anymore!

So glad you didn't post a 9/11 post today. Is it bad and un-American of me to be sick to death of 9-11 stuff?

Laura@livingabigstory said...

Crack up ... I bet your hubs would be A-OK if you dressed up as if you were going to an Indian wedding with the tatoos and saris... that would be kinda cool actually!

Jen said...

I hereby send bad juju to that untoward hacker.

Can you please recommend a good bollywood film to me? I keep hearing about them, and as a nerd, I am behind the cool people on this.