Apr 9, 2011

now that I posses technology....

I am writing this post on my new iPad.

When I send emails on here the signature says "sent from my shiny new ipad2 of awesomeness". But in reality, it's sort of not living up to the tremendously amazing hype I built it up to be in my head.

You see, I used to be technology deprived. But then came my iPad and my iPhone and I was riding a wave of app induced euphoria for about 2 1/2 weeks.

But now I'm starting to notice the little things about all this technology that are really starting to bug me.

Like, the ipad2 has a camera on the front and the back, which I guess was one of their cool new features. But all I can think about is how some perv out there could be hacking into things to WATCH ME while I play Angry Birds. How's a girl to know if her innocent little iPad camera isn't documenting her every facial twitch? And HEAVEN FORBID the thought of picking my nose - it's just not safe.

However, I have come up with a solution to this fear. And now I, at all times, keep a finger pressed over the camera hole.

I'm doing it right now, in fact. Which makes for annoying one handed typing, but you just never know when you're going to get an itch in the nasal cavities that cannot be remedied in a private or lady like manner.

Another thing that bugs me about the iPad is the stupid automatic text correction feature is always telling me how wrong my name is. It doesn't have a problem with Melissa, but even attempt the word Bastow and it goes into a frenzy of corrections. Frankly I'm a little appalled,and more than a smidgen offended,that Apple didn't just have Bastow programmed in as a correct word to begin with. It's like they weren't even thinking about me at all when they made this thing.

I could probably continue this post with a few more complaints (like, why do my pocket frogs only ribbit sometimes and not on command? or why is my husband under the serious delusion that this is also his iPad when I have specifically, and on more than one occasion, yelled, "it's MINE!! Mine, I say!!!".) but I'm really starting to get a cramp in my camera hole covering finger, so I'm just going to wrap it up here and let the pervs spying on me stare at the ceiling for awhile.


LisAway said...

Very valid complaints. I say write a public letter to whatever is the biggest techi magazine asking how, oh HOW is one to pick one's nose with the constant threat of a perv hacker person possibly watching!??!!!????!?!?!?!?!!!!?????!!

LisAway said...

Make that techy. I think. Techie? Oh, I don't know.

Wonder Woman said...

Um, maybe a post-it would stop your hand from cramping?

And thank you for removing any technology envy I may have. I got a touch screen phone for the first time in my life last week -- I'm WAY late to the game. I now know they aren't all they're cracked up to be.

Kristina P. said...

I think you should give me your iPad so I can test these things out on my own.

Rachel Sue said...

Alyssa beat me to it. I was going to say a piece of tape.

And if you don't want to give it to Kristina to test, feel free to give it to me instead.

Barbaloot said...

I don't know anything about ipads or cameras or phones...I'm afraid of technology.

Heidi said...

I have an older ipad so no camera but the auto correction thing is the bane of my existence. It turns perfectly normal words into downright insults. Bah~! As for the camera, how about a piece of paper taped to it? One handed typing makes for dull work.