Jan 10, 2011

sheila is smarter than me

The aid on Monkey's bus is convinced that my name is Sheila.  This confuses me because it's the same aid that was on Opie's bus for 2 years.  And just suddenly my name is Sheila? 

Not that we're all big on knowing each other's names and stuff (I think her name is Kory) but every day since Monkey's started school she says, "See you tomorrow, Sheila!" 

I'm not really notorious for paying attention, especially when I'm also welcoming home the Monkey and shuttling him into the house, and the first few times I was called Sheila I wasn't sure if that's what she had really said.  Then, after that, I thought, "Maybe if I don't respond she'll just stop the whole Sheila thing and move onto not remembering my name."  But she still says it.  Every day.  And now it's just WAY TOO LATE to correct her.  I mean, what would I even say?  "See ya, oh and by the way, you've been calling me Sheila for a couple of month and my name is Melissa, you big doofus."

I'm just going to keep on pretending that I haven't noticed and/or my name is really Sheila.  It's way less complicated this way.

I woke up with a cold last tuesday that went straight to my throat.  And hasn't left yet.  I haven't had a sore throat this bad since I was a kid.  Plus, I also feel like crap.  And seriously, it's lasting much MUCH too long.

I pretty much loathe doctors (except our pediatrician - I like her), but finally caved and saw one over the weekend.  I just went to the Instant Care place that has to take you when you don't have an appointment plus it's saturday anyway so most doctors aren't in.  Apparently the Instant Care place only hires jerks that treat people like 4 year olds.

I basically just wanted to be tested for Strep, because that's what it feels like.  But when that came back negative, the doctor had to explain to me that things like post-nasal drip can cause sore throats too and also there is more than one virus that could cause all my symptoms.  And then I said, "Oh my gosh!!  Really?!!"  And then shook his hand for giving me such highly educated information that I would have never understood if he hadn't used his demeaning "fount-of-all-knowledge" voice.

Honestly, I hate doctors.  They just assume that everyone is stupid.  Or at least they assume that I'm stupid.  Either way, they've earned my hatred.

Maybe if I changed my name to Sheila, no one would ever assume stupidity?   Are people named Sheila smarter than people named Melissa?  I just asked a Magic 8 Ball, and it said:


So does that mean the aid on Monkey's bus thinks that I'm smart?  Because now I'm really not going to tell her what my real name is.

9 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Yes! Post nasal drip. I got a neti pot. It was awesome. I almost drowned.

LisAway said...

Hilarious. I adore you, you know that Sheila?

T said...

perhaps the aide has recently spent time in Australia? you could just move there and all your problems would be solved... well, except for that post-nasal drip thing, but I'm not a doctor so I'm not smart enough to tell you how to fix that :)

Heather said...

The seminary teacher my sister and I had in high school was an utter moron. I hated him. So much so that I quit going the 2nd month into my senior year and I still managed to graduate with honors. I think the doofus was just so happy I wasn't there arguing with him from the front seat he always assigned me to that he passed me for sanity sake.

ANYWAY. One day he was telling this story about how he'd gone to this toy store to buy his kids Christmas presents and was overcome with this feeling of evil. JUST LIKE JOSEPH SMITH IN THE GROVE! He turned around and ZOINKS! There was a magic 8 ball. Because, you know, magic 8 balls are just as evil as Ouija boards.

Funny thing.... my sister had received a magic 8 ball keychain for Christmas that year as a stocking stuffer. I had the thing in my pocket because I wasn't able to find my keys that morning. Yet... he wasn't overcome with the feeling of evil as he had been in the toy store.

My pants pocket must have been extra righteous that day... shielding him from the evil within it.

Heather said...

Or maybe keychain 8 balls are less evil than full sized ones. So he was just having a sorta bad feeling and thought it was the enchiladas he'd had for dinner the night before.

Barbaloot said...

I've had people call me Deborah and Brenda for months without ever correcting them. On the occasion they found out my correct name they get pretty embarrassed. And I laugh:)

Rachel Sue said...

You're right. Doctors are annoying. There is one at my pediatricians office (not mine, but she works there) that I hate. She talks to EVERYONE like they are three. Not so much like they are dumb, but like:
"Hi! How are we today! SO! What seems to be going on! Okay! Well, this is what we will do!" Do you kind of see what I'm saying? Drives me nuts.

bobatharoo said...

What a bummer about being sick Sheila. The funny thing is... I had what sounds like what you have and went to a stupid Instacare with a stupid doctor that treated me like a four year old, and the strep test came back negative. You better watch out, if it's true your life is mirroring mine, you should be pregnant by now.

cc said...

I was also going to ask if they're Australian.

Funny stuff. Sorry you've been sick. And I hate doctors too.