Jan 3, 2011

today's my birthday

I'm 30.

(Sorry, I couldn't finish that paragraph because I was too busy cringing.)

THIRTY!!!!! 

GAH, how did that happen?!!

So I've officially realized that life just gets worse from here.  You know all those tv shows and movies and stuff who show women living glamorous lives and being all hip and awesome well into their 50's?  IT'S ALL LIES.

How depressing.

You know, I totally squandered my youth.  I took it all for granted.  Like in high school when I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm SO FAT, ugh, and look at my nose!" (read that in "valley-girl" teenage style for maximum effect.)

SOMEONE GET ME A TIME MACHINE NOW.  I have a previous self that I need to go punch and call stupid.  And then maybe I'll mention how my boobs drag on the floor like caveman knuckles if I don't wear a granny bra.  So then maybe I'll actually enjoy being young (and skinny, and big-nosed, with perky ladies).

So yeah, if anyone wants to send me anything for my birthday I'm taking donations in the form of black roses, adult diapers and cash.  (I don't care how old I am, I will always except cash.)

Or you can just do me a huge favor and go read the latest issue of The Barrel:


There's some cool stuff in there this month.  But mostly it's just proof that I'm not above putting my own child on the cover of a magazine.

Happy birthday to me......I need to go find some comfort food.

10 comments:

Rachel Sue said...

Happy Birthday! If I make it to the store today, I will pick up a pair of adult diapers just for yo. :)

Jen said...

Happy Birthday!

Laura said...

Thirty is still quite youthful. In fact, when you are turning 40, you are going to want to turn around in a time machine and smack your 30-year-old self for not appreciating how good you looked then, too. So live it up while you got it. ;)

Barbaloot said...

Happy Birthday!

A husband, four kids, an online magazine, and an online business. And a blog?

That can't be too bad:)

mommabas said...

Wait a minute! I'm in my 50s and I lead an oh-so- glamorous life AND am hip and awesome-NOT!!!
But seriously, you so look not 30, and you are awesome and hip and I LOVE how your kids grace the pages of your mag because, well, they are just the cutest things ever!!
I'm rambling and I know this is oh so tacky, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

VedetteTX said...

Happy Birthday! I'm excited to have found you and your magazine and look forward to more. I think I found you through CBC...my browsing habits are quick and erratic, so I'm never actually sure where I came from...

elesa said...

No adult diapers this time. But I did find this for you.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bzn/1971141280.html

Heidi said...

Happy belated birthday! And I finally got the button in my blog--yay!

RhondaLue said...

haha...I agree with the person who said when you are 40 you will want to go smack and call stupid your 30 year old self! I'm 37 and miss how great I looked at 30. h aha

Melanie Jacobson said...

I like thirty and thirty-something, for what it's worth.