Skip to main content

sheila is smarter than me

The aid on Monkey's bus is convinced that my name is Sheila.  This confuses me because it's the same aid that was on Opie's bus for 2 years.  And just suddenly my name is Sheila? 

Not that we're all big on knowing each other's names and stuff (I think her name is Kory) but every day since Monkey's started school she says, "See you tomorrow, Sheila!" 

I'm not really notorious for paying attention, especially when I'm also welcoming home the Monkey and shuttling him into the house, and the first few times I was called Sheila I wasn't sure if that's what she had really said.  Then, after that, I thought, "Maybe if I don't respond she'll just stop the whole Sheila thing and move onto not remembering my name."  But she still says it.  Every day.  And now it's just WAY TOO LATE to correct her.  I mean, what would I even say?  "See ya, oh and by the way, you've been calling me Sheila for a couple of month and my name is Melissa, you big doofus."

I'm just going to keep on pretending that I haven't noticed and/or my name is really Sheila.  It's way less complicated this way.

I woke up with a cold last tuesday that went straight to my throat.  And hasn't left yet.  I haven't had a sore throat this bad since I was a kid.  Plus, I also feel like crap.  And seriously, it's lasting much MUCH too long.

I pretty much loathe doctors (except our pediatrician - I like her), but finally caved and saw one over the weekend.  I just went to the Instant Care place that has to take you when you don't have an appointment plus it's saturday anyway so most doctors aren't in.  Apparently the Instant Care place only hires jerks that treat people like 4 year olds.

I basically just wanted to be tested for Strep, because that's what it feels like.  But when that came back negative, the doctor had to explain to me that things like post-nasal drip can cause sore throats too and also there is more than one virus that could cause all my symptoms.  And then I said, "Oh my gosh!!  Really?!!"  And then shook his hand for giving me such highly educated information that I would have never understood if he hadn't used his demeaning "fount-of-all-knowledge" voice.

Honestly, I hate doctors.  They just assume that everyone is stupid.  Or at least they assume that I'm stupid.  Either way, they've earned my hatred.

Maybe if I changed my name to Sheila, no one would ever assume stupidity?   Are people named Sheila smarter than people named Melissa?  I just asked a Magic 8 Ball, and it said:


So does that mean the aid on Monkey's bus thinks that I'm smart?  Because now I'm really not going to tell her what my real name is.

Comments

Kristina P. said…
Yes! Post nasal drip. I got a neti pot. It was awesome. I almost drowned.
LisAway said…
Hilarious. I adore you, you know that Sheila?
TisforTonya said…
perhaps the aide has recently spent time in Australia? you could just move there and all your problems would be solved... well, except for that post-nasal drip thing, but I'm not a doctor so I'm not smart enough to tell you how to fix that :)
Heather said…
The seminary teacher my sister and I had in high school was an utter moron. I hated him. So much so that I quit going the 2nd month into my senior year and I still managed to graduate with honors. I think the doofus was just so happy I wasn't there arguing with him from the front seat he always assigned me to that he passed me for sanity sake.

ANYWAY. One day he was telling this story about how he'd gone to this toy store to buy his kids Christmas presents and was overcome with this feeling of evil. JUST LIKE JOSEPH SMITH IN THE GROVE! He turned around and ZOINKS! There was a magic 8 ball. Because, you know, magic 8 balls are just as evil as Ouija boards.

Funny thing.... my sister had received a magic 8 ball keychain for Christmas that year as a stocking stuffer. I had the thing in my pocket because I wasn't able to find my keys that morning. Yet... he wasn't overcome with the feeling of evil as he had been in the toy store.

My pants pocket must have been extra righteous that day... shielding him from the evil within it.
Heather said…
Or maybe keychain 8 balls are less evil than full sized ones. So he was just having a sorta bad feeling and thought it was the enchiladas he'd had for dinner the night before.
Barbaloot said…
I've had people call me Deborah and Brenda for months without ever correcting them. On the occasion they found out my correct name they get pretty embarrassed. And I laugh:)
Rachel Sue said…
You're right. Doctors are annoying. There is one at my pediatricians office (not mine, but she works there) that I hate. She talks to EVERYONE like they are three. Not so much like they are dumb, but like:
"Hi! How are we today! SO! What seems to be going on! Okay! Well, this is what we will do!" Do you kind of see what I'm saying? Drives me nuts.
bobatharoo said…
What a bummer about being sick Sheila. The funny thing is... I had what sounds like what you have and went to a stupid Instacare with a stupid doctor that treated me like a four year old, and the strep test came back negative. You better watch out, if it's true your life is mirroring mine, you should be pregnant by now.
cc said…
I was also going to ask if they're Australian.

Funny stuff. Sorry you've been sick. And I hate doctors too.

Popular posts from this blog

GIVEAWAY (of the photo Christmas card variety)

I think I just creeped out my four year old. I pulled out the, "You'd better go to bed because Santa's Elves are watching you to make sure you're being good!" routine. His eyes got big, and round, and scared. And he said, "Why would they do that?!" Also, our church building burned down yesterday. No wait, it didn't. But the alarm went off, and the entire ward just sat there in the chapel (and gym, because we have an enormous ward.) I sat there too. I don't know what everyone else was thinking, but the thought going through my head was, "Can somebody please get that alarm turned off, it is WAY TOO LOUD!!!!" Seriously, I think our ward is now 37% deafer after that. Oh, and there was no actual fire. And the first fire truck to show up was driven by one of our ward members who was on duty that day. Good times. And now, that GIVEAWAY: For procrastinators everywhere (that would include me) I'm giving away one free photo Christmas card d

little pieces of my heart will be for sale at D.I.

I have this thing about my kids clothes. The thing is, I LIKE BUYING THEM CLOTHES. I get in trouble frequently for this. It's just that the old ones get so boring after awhile. And I hate it when the really cheap clothes look like poop after washing them a couple of times. Luckily, I live in a city that has outlet stores. I love outlet stores (and Ebay!) Alot of the time you can find higher quality clothes for Walmart prices so how could I NOT buy them? It would be like wasting money for me NOT to get a couple $4 shirts at OshKosh. Right? RIGHT?!! The problem is - we have tiny closets. Miniature, puny, ridiculous, TINY closets. The other problem is - I have saved EVERYTHING. Not only are the kids' closets chuck full of stuff, but we have multiple rubbermaid bins in our garage full of baby clothes they've all grown out of. Also, we may not be having any more children. And I say "may not" because if I say "for sure not" someone will have to co

The Barrel giveaway : SNIS Handmade Leather Goods

As seen in this month's issue of The Barrel I'm giving away one leather keychain or bracelet from SNIS . Their keychains crack me up.  In a really good way.  Like, if I was to ever have a grumpy day (like every day) and I see something like that on my keychain, then I doubt I'll be able to scream at my kids as well. Also, good news!  Even those of you who don't win can get 15% off everything in their shop!  Just enter the code: THEBARREL to get the discount. If you win this giveaway you get to choose the bracelet or keychain out of SNIS's etsy shop (and they have a bunch to choose from): All giveaways associated with The Barrel end on March 15th at 11:59 PM MT. Here's how to enter: 1- For ONE entry: visit SNIS's etsy shop then leave a comment on this post about which is your favorite product. 2- For another ONE entry you can "heart" SNIS's etsy shop. (Leave a separate comment telling me that you "hearted" them.)