Skip to main content

bangs and girth

By
Sometimes I have to let out a loud, "buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh," and then shoot puffs of breath up at my forehead to blow my bangs around for awhile.

I mean, what else is there to do?  Really?  Life is so dull these days, I have absolutely nothing on my to-do list and I've already managed to scratch my butt in sufficient amounts.  I wish there was a toilet to clean or something.

Ok, no. 

Trust me - I have PLENTY to do.  I hardly even ever have time to scratch my butt.  In fact, if I had more to do I would probably just lapse into a catatonic state do to overwhelmedness.

Maybe the bang puffing is like mini-catatonic-ness.

Probably.

Makes sense.

And in other news...

Last Christmas (you know, like a month ago) I got one of those pedaling things that you put under your desk so that you can be a dork and work out while actually working.  Except that my knees hit the slidey keyboard  ledge each time I pedal.  So I have to slump really low in my chair, which isn't really conducive to major work getting done.  And I mostly end up puffing my bangs while I pedal instead.

Also for this past Christmas my kids gave me the best gift they could think of: ankle weights.  Nothing says love like a pair of ankle weights. 

Actually I think it more says, "Hey mom, we think you're fat, why don't you do something about it already?!"

So I've been wearing ankle weights a lot these days.  Like all day.  Because I figure if running up and down the stairs 50 times a day wasn't enough to control my girth, then ankle weights SURELY will make the difference.

Opie's bus was like 5 minutes earlier than usual yesterday.  And I was still two blocks away.  Fine, a block and 3/4 away.  And if you're not at the bus stop they take your kid back to school.  So I had to run.  Pushing a stroller, with still-damp-shower-hair in the freezing cold, wearing ankle weights.

A few more days like that and my girth is going to be pulling a serious vanishing act.

Maybe those ankle weights were a good idea after all.

Also, I should probably cut my bangs.  Maybe I'd get more done....

Comments

Kristina P. said…
Maybe next year you'll get some pajama jeans after all that ankle weight workout!
25.1.11
That Girl said…
This is the whole reason I cut bangs.
25.1.11
annie valentine said…
Why didn't I think of ankle weights?
25.1.11
LisAway said…
And easier way to add weight and therefore get more exercise is to get pregnant. You should try that! Ha.

You are one of the busiest people I know. You totally deserve plenty of bangs blowing time.
26.1.11
Claire said…
I need ankle weights - to strap round my jaw. Perhaps i'd lose some of my chins if i had to lug those weights, every time I talked. Which is a lot.
26.1.11
Barbaloot said…
I like Clair's idea of chin weights:)

I was confused by the first paragraph---it's not like you to have nothing on your list.
26.1.11
TisforTonya said…
and if nothing else - chopping off the bangs will slim you down by a few ounces.

better yet - weigh yourself WITH the ankle weights and then ditch them - Ta-Dah... instant weight loss!!!

girth, shmirth - that's what I always say :)
26.1.11
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I am an artist.

By
I really am. But not one of those deeply moving, "what do you mean you don't understand my painting, it's BLUE" kind of artists.  I'm more like one of those "oh hey, a pen and a napkin, doodle doodle doodle" kind of artists.  Because I do it for fun.  And yeah, for money.  But still.  Fun....most of the time. But I feel like branching into new mediums.  Do you know how long it's been since I painted?  Like with something other than finger paints or the kids' water colors where all the colors are mixed so they just come out brown anyway? It's been awhile.  I've been itching to paint for months. I've also wanted to let Monkey loose on a canvas for awhile.  He's not like my other kids (who all carry mine and Husband's arty genes) who like to draw endless pictures of unicorns, princesses, transformers or dinosaurs.  Monkey likes to feel his art.  He'll probably end up being one of those deeply moving types.  And I'...
14 comments
Older Posts >>

I won't be offended if you answer NO to the question at the end of this post

By
So this post will probably lose me a lot of respect and friends and possibly even a few phone calls to the Health and Welfare department. But I just feel like posting it, it's kind of like saying it outloud, but without having to watch someone's face react to the horror. And today, I really feel the need to say it outloud. So if you read this and don't feel like being friends anymore, I get it. With everyone's kids going back to school (and our school district being the last to start in the entire world, so I'm still sitting here dealing with summer child overload) I keep reading the posts about how mothers are sad to see their kids go, and how much they're going to miss them, and how much they absolutely love motherhood. Want me to tell you what I think about motherhood? I hate it. There are times when I hate it more than any other thing on the planet. And there goes most of my friends. But I'm sorry. I do. I hate being a mother. I don't hate my c...
22 comments
Older Posts >>

I'm not fat, my scale just hates me.

By
That's what it is. It's probably an evil scale anyway.  Always lying to me.  Telling me I'm fat. The worst part about it is that the scale has also convinced all the mirrors in my house to play along.  And I know it got my pant size on board ages ago.  It's also managed to get the camera to cooperate, even though I treat that camera like one of my dear precious children.  And this evil, hateful scale has attached a big mound of blubber right on my midsection. Well guess what scale - I hate you too. ***************************************************** I think showers are a waste of time. You get in just to get all wet, emerge dripping, get a nice clean towel wet, redress yourself, figure out something to do with your crazy 'just got wet and now it's going to dry ultra fuzzy, don't even think about using a blowdryer' hair, and put on all the makeup that you just washed off even though your mascara could probably have passed for a whole extra d...
17 comments
Older Posts >>