Jun 3, 2010

I just can't think of a title google would approve of for this post...

One of my sons is shooting Storm Troopers on our old Nintendo 64.  And the other one?  He's having a tea party and picking his nose.

Sometimes I like to just think about tons of different things at the same time.  But then my brain usually gets confused and I end up blurting out sentences like, "You need to put your shoes in the we can eat the library called what is that smell?

I have been wondering how many squares of toilet paper Two Bits uses on a daily basis.  Your probably thinking that I'm assuming she uses too much?  Nope.  The opposite.

When we were driving home from Utah on monday we made a potty stop, and I had to join Two Bits in the stall.  Generally I wouldn't, but she's afraid of "magic potties."  That's what we call the toilets that flush themselves.  So if my kids see a magic potty I have to squeeze in the stall and keep my hand over the sensor until the pee-er is finished and far away from the scary flushing toilet.

But when we stopped I also was in great need of a toilet.  So when Two Bits grabbed two squares of the flimsy rest stop toilet paper I said, "You are going to need way more than that or your hand is going to get all wet."  So then she proceeded to COUNT OUT the squares.  Which is not what you do when your sensor blocking, bladder bursting, I've-had-4-kids-so-don't-even tell-me-to-hold-it, mother is in the stall with you.   Which is some general FYI to mention to 6 year olds everywhere.

Earlier today I pulled out my sample bottle of Little Stinker Baby Butt Spray that I got in my swag bag at CBC.  The bottle said you could use it on your husbands.

So I did.

He keeps trying to convince me that his shoes (among other things) don't smell.  I'm gagging just thinking about it.

You know how when you're pregnant you get that super human sense of smell thing?  Mine never went away.  I could be a blood hound.  Just strap a collar on me and take me hunting.  (Except don't really, because I'm way too lazy.  Plus I don't know how I feel about hunting poor wild animals when there's a grocery store just down the street.)

Things stink a lot.  And I smell it all.  So I'm pretty happy that things like Little Stinkers and Scentsy exist.  And maybe someday my olfactory senses will return to normal human levels and I won't have to be on the verge of a smell induced gag all the time.

8 comments:

Rachel Sue said...

I have EXACTLY the same problem with my 7 year old. It really grosses me out.

Monica said...

Glad to know I'm not the only one children terrified of self-flushing toilets. Don't even get me started on the stalls at the campgrounds that are just dark pits with a seat on top ...

Claire said...

Yeah, when I have to share a cubicle with one of the kids, they always insist on trying to open the door when I'm wrestling with my trousers (usually the fly..). Not pretty.

LisAway said...

Didn't you learn ANYTHING at that conference? (about your title, which I love)

Barbaloot said...

I have an aversion to those magic toilets as well. They flush when I'm not ready, and when I am ready they don't! What the heck?

Marisol Avendano Avila said...

Put a pack of post-it notes in your purse. Stick one over the magic potty sensor - works like a charm with my 4 yr old! :)

annie valentine said...

I didn't get any stinky baby butt stuff in my swag bag, I feel so jipped.

Jaron and Michelle said...

Remember how dad use to go off on us telling us how we didn't need to use more than 1 square of toilet paper? Or did I just have a problem with using to much? All these toilet coments makeme laugh but then I realize I will be dealing with this in a few years and it's not so funny anymore.