Mar 5, 2010

things I cover in this post: Miss America, asthma, The Office and boobs

I'm hiding in my room.  Except that Monkey doesn't get the whole concept of "hiding."  Because he won't leave me alone.  He's handing me deodorant right now.  Yeah, thanks, I smell fine.  (Unlike some days....but what are you bringing that up for?)

I was just asking him to get his sister, since, being not quite 2 years old, she really ought to be semi-supervised.  On occassion.  Maybe.

As she walked in through the door I started singing, "There she is, Miss America..." in my best fake vibratic opera voice.  And Number Four put her hands over her eyes like they do when the newly crowned Miss America cries on stage and doesn't want her fake eyelashes to fall off.

I think Number Four and I make a good pair. 

Except when she's in her "Queen of the Universe" mood.  Because I've already claimed that role, and there just isn't enough room for two queens here.

Speaking of Number Four, does anyone have any good asthma home remedies?  She has Reactive Airway Disease and a cold that has lasted two weeks.  I went to the dr on wednesday and said, "Her airways are starting to swell again - I can tell it's going to get bad.  What can I do to prevent going to the ER (for the third time in two months)?"  And the Dr said:

"I've never seen a purple cow,
I never hope to see one.
But I can tell you anyhow,
I'd rather see, than be, one."

Ok, not really, but that was about as helpful as what she did say.  And so last night -exactly as I predicted- Number Four started having more serious breathing issues.  She was panting and lethargic.  But she wasn't blue, and she wasn't (audibly) wheezing.  So instead of taking her to an ER where they would have pumped more steroids into her (how many steroid treatments can one toddler take before growing a mustache?  really, I want to know) we stayed up most the night and did all we could for her at home.  And prayed that she wouldn't die during the few hours of sleep we actually got.

She didn't.

And here's to hoping we don't have a repeat of last night.  Unless, of course, someone out there has a brilliant suggestion we haven't already tried.  We have a nebulizer with albuterol, vicks, a super humidifier, ibuprofen, and a snot sucking bulb syringe.  Oh, and sometimes I make her eat peppermint candy canes left over from Christmas because I read online that peppermint tea was supposed to help.

Anything I'm missing?  Anything at all.  Just don't say steroids - I think she's had enough of those.

Did you guys watch The Office?  (I'm changing the subject.)

Pam had her baby.  I knew they were going to have a girl.  I'm psychic like that.  Just like Annie is having a girl, and CC is having a boy.  And That Girl, is totally having a boy - I'm getting strong feelings about that one.

Did anyone else find it massively hysterical that Pam nursed the wrong baby?  I don't know why, but that made me laugh like a lunatic.  (Possibly I'm just a lunatic.)  Oh, and also that the lactation consultant was a man.  Funny stuff, man.

I remember when I had Two Bits and the lactation consultant (who luckily wasn't a man) was trying to help by grabbing a hold of things and yanking/smashing/squeezing while I kept my hands in the air in a gesture of complete surrender.  Yeah....good times.  Pretty safe to say that I never again let a lactation consultant touch me.  Of course they'd always ask.  And then I'd take off screaming, "Get away from my boobs!!!!!" in a high pitched squeel.

Ok, Miss America is now parading in princess dress-up heels licking the snot from her top lip.  I should probably do something about that.  She's going to fall and break an ankle in those shoes.


Heidi Ashworth said...

You are a very clever gal. Here's hoping your little one will feel better soon!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Oh, and if you are interested in doing an interview for Mormon Women: Who We Are (at, let me know by emailing me at

Life in the Highlands said...

Sorry, the only remedies I have would be slightly less useful than the purple cow rhyme. I hope your daughter gets better soon.

RhondaLue said...

ahh asthma. Good times. I won't say steroids but..ok I will say steroids. #1 because steroids are less damaging than not enough oxygen and
#2 Asthma is serious crap. Don't mess with it!
#3 because thankfully there is a less damaging steroid to use that will hopefully cut down the amount of times kiddo needs oral steroids. Read on:

Oral steroids like prednisone, orapred, pediapred-whatever brand you get...takes a toll on the kids endocrine system after repeated use. BUT, if the Dr puts the kid on an INHALED steroid (pulmicort, flovent, etc) it is preventative (less attacks! YAY!) and one round of oral steroids does more damage than over 300 (ish, depending on which kind you use) daily inhaled steroids. They are totally different and if I were you I'd get a pulmo and get that kid on prevenative 'roids.

Also, get kiddo tested for allergies to see if there is a particular trigger that can be avoided. That is the simplest and most natural way to go.

Those are my suggestions. We had to take Ben to National Jewish Research and Medical Center in Colorado to deal with his asthma, it was so severe. We found that
#1 he has no allergies
#2 he had such severe reflux that he was aspirating stomach contents into his lungs which caused resp. distress so he had to be put on thickened fluids and feeds for 6ish months,and
#3 his tonsils and adenoids were huge and contributed to his resp. probs and this had to be removed.

That was back when he was 5 and I have a new boy now! (and his little brother is giving me all the asthma troubles now!)

Rachel Sue said...

Poor baby! If I had any good remedies I would be sharing them with you right now!

And yes, Pam feeding the wrong baby was hysterical!!!!!!!!!! And it also make me really appreciate never having had to share a room after I had a baby.

Wonder Woman said...

Pam feeding the wrong baby was hilarious!! And the male lactation consultant was too funny. Superman and I watched the episode last night and thought it was cool that Jim and Pam had their baby when we did. I just love that show.

I wish I had an asthma remedy for you. Spiderman has had some asthma/cold issues recently and we just got a nebulizer. Good luck.

Heather said...

Your posts are always so awesome.

And I don't know how you and Tamara handle the reactive airway thing. When Annie had a spell on her last visit I was a wreck. I'll be praying that both of those tykes outgrow it. :)

Barbaloot said...

I hope number four feels better--without having to do ER or steroids or anything else like that.

That Girl said...

Okay, this week was exactly my SECOND time watching The Office, and I laughed so hard my husband had to continue his phone conversation in another room.

"No, honey, I don't want you to help. That would be weird."


Claire said...

Meh - snot is good for them.

Claire said...

Meh - snot is good for them.