Skip to main content

shnookums-pie

I have 14.7 minutes to write this post.

Because Husband turns THIRTY today, and we're going on a real live date. Dinner AND a movie. It's been awhile folks.

So you know my son? Monkey?


Yeah, him. He looks like a long-haired, sweety-pie, shnookums-poo darlin', no?

HE'S NOT.

We go outside. Out front. No fence.

Two seconds into it Monkey runs full board into the street, and I'm holding a squirmy one year old on the grass. Thank goodness we live on a slow street.

We go outside. Out front. No fence.

Two seconds into it Monkey takes off in stealth. I find him on our neighbor's front porch, hanging out in a chair. We don't know these particular neighbors yet. I'm just wondering how many times he rang their doorbell before taking a seat.

We go outside. Out front. No fence.

Two seconds into it Monkey spies our other neighbor's ornamental lawn lights. He tries ripping one out of the ground. It starts wiggling before I can nab him and shove him back through the door.

So outside just isn't working out.

We're inside. I'm cleaning, because we have so many ants here it's like there were no other place for them to hang out. In the world. Two seconds into this ant raid I look over at Monkey thinking, "Hey he seems shorter."

Probably because he had taken out the floor A/C vent and jumped into the open duct.

Yeah, he's a long-haired, sweety-pie, shnookums-poo darlin'.

Comments

Emmy said…
Do you have a fenced in back yard? I know that is one of the things I insist on having as I need the freedom to just send them out for a bit to keep me sane :)
Hope your date was fun! My husband turned 30 last March
Barbaloot said…
Put super glue on the bottom of his shoes. Then see how fast he can move:)

Have fun on your date tonight!
annie valentine said…
It's so good to see you. I've been hating blogland for the past two months, this is maybe the tenth blog I've ready since April. Why? Because when I saw your comment on my blog, I thought, "Gee, I love her. What's she doin' these days?"

So thanks for stopping to say hi because you're great.
Wonder Woman said…
Maybe a more appropriate name for him is Godzilla. Still an ape, but a terror as well. Ü Thanks for sharing.
Heather said…
He is sure cute.
marisa said…
My 2 year old monkey does the same thing...and oh yeah she can now unlock the screen door...so we have to keep the real door shut and it gets mighty warm beacuse we don't have AC where we live!
So if you have ants go to the store right now and buy these traps, they work wonders! Well you can wait until your husband is home b/c I know 4 kids in a store is just pure torture! The ant traps are called TERRO Liquid Ant Baits and they work miracles, set them out and seriously your ants will disappear. The BEST part they are kid friendly in case your 2 year old tries to consume them like mine did! I have bought mine at Lowes.
Miners, y'all said…
Melissa, some day our two boys will meet and they will form an infamous duo that wreaks havoc on living creatures from East to West. Secretly, we'll write a book about them and make mega bucks together, which will compensate for our loss of health and home after raising the adorable creatures.
He has to be the funniest kids ever!

Popular posts from this blog

I am an artist.

I really am. But not one of those deeply moving, "what do you mean you don't understand my painting, it's BLUE" kind of artists.  I'm more like one of those "oh hey, a pen and a napkin, doodle doodle doodle" kind of artists.  Because I do it for fun.  And yeah, for money.  But still.  Fun....most of the time. But I feel like branching into new mediums.  Do you know how long it's been since I painted?  Like with something other than finger paints or the kids' water colors where all the colors are mixed so they just come out brown anyway? It's been awhile.  I've been itching to paint for months. I've also wanted to let Monkey loose on a canvas for awhile.  He's not like my other kids (who all carry mine and Husband's arty genes) who like to draw endless pictures of unicorns, princesses, transformers or dinosaurs.  Monkey likes to feel his art.  He'll probably end up being one of those deeply moving types.  And I'

I won't be offended if you answer NO to the question at the end of this post

So this post will probably lose me a lot of respect and friends and possibly even a few phone calls to the Health and Welfare department. But I just feel like posting it, it's kind of like saying it outloud, but without having to watch someone's face react to the horror. And today, I really feel the need to say it outloud. So if you read this and don't feel like being friends anymore, I get it. With everyone's kids going back to school (and our school district being the last to start in the entire world, so I'm still sitting here dealing with summer child overload) I keep reading the posts about how mothers are sad to see their kids go, and how much they're going to miss them, and how much they absolutely love motherhood. Want me to tell you what I think about motherhood? I hate it. There are times when I hate it more than any other thing on the planet. And there goes most of my friends. But I'm sorry. I do. I hate being a mother. I don't hate my c

I'm not fat, my scale just hates me.

That's what it is. It's probably an evil scale anyway.  Always lying to me.  Telling me I'm fat. The worst part about it is that the scale has also convinced all the mirrors in my house to play along.  And I know it got my pant size on board ages ago.  It's also managed to get the camera to cooperate, even though I treat that camera like one of my dear precious children.  And this evil, hateful scale has attached a big mound of blubber right on my midsection. Well guess what scale - I hate you too. ***************************************************** I think showers are a waste of time. You get in just to get all wet, emerge dripping, get a nice clean towel wet, redress yourself, figure out something to do with your crazy 'just got wet and now it's going to dry ultra fuzzy, don't even think about using a blowdryer' hair, and put on all the makeup that you just washed off even though your mascara could probably have passed for a whole extra d