Jul 7, 2009

in which I prove the horribleness of my parenting (again)

If there has been any doubt that someone should cart my children away to better homes (RIGHT AWAY) I have something to admit that can really send the CPS knocking on my door (or a couple of enraged old women.)

Whenever my kids (or husband) asks what's for breakfast/lunch/dinner and I either don't know or I know the answer will envoke groaning, I always answer, "Poop on a stick."


A horrible thing for a parent to say to a child, I know. (I can hear those old ladies cringing right now.)

But it gets better.


Yesterday I finally served it:

At first I added the raisins for nutritional value (and because raisins stick great to peanut butter and taste better than cheezits in this particular combination.) Then I thought of a really great poop comparison for them.

I must admit it's not my most mature thought. Are you ready for it?

The raisins are flies (because flies love poop, you know?)

Yeah, immature.

Because serving my kids "poop on a stick" was the most adult thing to do in the first place.

13 comments:

mommabas said...

Proving once again that you are the queen of creativity!
That's OK, "husband" was raised on "Puppy Chow!" (Recipe upon request).
Ur the best!
MommaB

Emmy said...

Lol! Awesome! There are several times where I say things to my husband to tease and then I remember my kids are there. :) woops

cc said...

We eat that all the time around here! I'll be careful not to serve it when your kids are over though...just to avoid any commentary :)

Rachel Sue said...

Trying so hard to control the laughter so as not to wake up the baby.

I love it!

Heather said...

The real question is: Did they eat it?

Barbaloot said...

Hey-you got a banana in there so that's all that matters. CPS has nothing on you as far as I'm concerned.

RhondaLue said...

I. Love. It.

And...Ijust might start serving it!

the MomBabe said...

Hey, whatever works.

I always tell mine that we're eating worms and maggots.

BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY.

Becca said...

OKay, I totally just found out you had this OTHER blog. Oh I am so embarrassed. I miss you Melissa. I wish we lived closer to you guys. Like, at least in the same state :) Will you email me sometime and tell me about the move? I saw on Jer's IM "I'm in houseliving limbo" ut I didn't think he was SERIOUS?!!

Alison Wonderland said...

I've never served poop on a stick but I do tell my kids I'm making things like snail guts and spiders because I just don't want to hear the complaints.

Jaron and Michelle said...

So you didn't write how the kids actually like the poop on a stick? How did that go?

Melissa Bastow said...

Heather and Michelle - the kids loved it. Especially when Monkey ended up smeared in peanut butter and I had to groan and say, "Eeeeew, poop!!!" as I cleaned him off.

wonder woman said...

This is FANTASTIC. So creative. I once described a boy as looking like poop on a stick. That takes on a whole new meaning now.