Tomorrow my teeth become royalty. Because I'm getting two crowns and six cavities taken care of at the dentist.
Let me tell you how excited I am that I have reached the age of needing crowns.
SO EXTREMELY NOT EXCITED.
that when we were dentist shopping I deliberately chose an office that
provides sedation. I could be completely knocked out if I feel like
it. Sadly, insurance won't cover wussy sedation needs, and you know how
expensive anesthesiologists are. (If you really don't know how
expensive they are I kind of hate you a little bit. We've had way too
many surgeries in this house.)
The good news is that
there's a second option at this dentist's office - LOOPY PILLS. And
it's actually affordable. So basically, I take these pills an hour
before my appointment and they make me completely incoherent and tired
and spacey and LOOPY. And then when they're doing all the nasty mean
dental work I can just think about baby kangaroos and what it would
taste like to lick the moon.
Let me tell you how excited I am to have loopy pills.
SO FREAKING EXCITED!
I know that I shouldn't admit to this, but it's not like I've kept it a secret anyway, I loooooooove
it when I get to take loopy pills. If I had no morals or ambition or
brains or sense of self worth, I would probably be a druggy.
But I do actually have all those things and know that being a druggy is
really not the way to go. Plus, it just makes it all the more fun when
I'm presented with opportunities to take pills of loopishness.
very first time (that I remember) that I got to take a strong
medication was when I was 19. And I got e coli. And, if you didn't
know, e coli is super really horrible and painful and miserable.
Luckily it happened during the one month out of that summer that I was
living at my mom's house, because at 3 in the morning I had to go to the
ER. And I remember feeling like complete trash piled on top of manure
piled on top of rotten fish heads. But then they put phenergan in my
IV. And I've actually come to hate that drug because sometimes it makes me psychotic, but back then it was like yeeeeeeha.
remember laying in the ER, and it was about 4:00 AM by then, and my mom
was half asleep on the chair next to me. And the second that phenergan
kicked in I was yelling, "Mom! MOM!! Watch this! MY ARMS ARE FLOATING!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."
the drugs wore off and I went back to feeling like complete trash piled
on top of manure piled on top of rotten fish heads.
anyways, back to tomorrow when my teeth become crowned royalty, I'm
thinking the only good part of the day will be temporarily fulfilling my
dreams of being a druggy. And I really just hope that I don't come out
of my loopocity until after the mouth deadening wears off or, better
yet, friday morning.