So, after some venting, and some thinking, I decided that I would go over and meet our squatters.
Remember how I wasn't allowed to go over there? Because I'm clearly a crazy irate person.
Well, I did it anyway.
I'm not really one for "waiting things out." I'm more of an "impulsive, spur of the moment" type person.
And I really extra super nicely told them that they were living in our house illegally and that we weren't happy about it.
I also took them a Netflix video that they had delivered to the mailbox that is technically still ours.
I also took them some banana bread. It was at the grocery store, in the bakery section. $3 for two loaves. And the loaves were in one of those ugly plastic containers, but wrapped in saran wrap individually inside. So I took out one loaf and it looked like I totally made these people homemade banana bread as a house warming gift. Which, honestly, would have been WAY beyond my niceness scope. But still I can pretend.
Apparently their real estate agent has fed them a bunch of bologna through the whole process. And when the bank didn't approve things by the date their realtor PROMISED them, they were going to make him pay to put them up in a hotel until the deal was done. And that's when this guy handed them the keys to our house.
We'll be reporting this real estate agent to his superiors. No question on that issue. I hope he gets canned. Or maybe they can just hang him from his toenails in the basement for a few days. I'm not sure how they punish realtors these days.
But since our squatters seem to be committed and responsible, and willing to sign and follow our agreement until the sale goes through, we're letting them stay.
Also we really want them to actually buy our house - that's kind of a huge part of the niceness act. And acting it was. I was quite impressive, if I do say so myself.
But let me just tell you how much LESS dramatic faux-homemade banana bread is than a cop raid and mandatory eviction.
But at least I proved to Husband that I'm a caring human being - because apparently that was in question.
P.S. I may still do Cathy's pumpkin on the doorstep suggestion - you know, anonymously, and with our most rotten Halloween pumpkin. (For those of you who don't know, that was an old Jack Handy "Deep Thought." Which was something that Cathy and I quoted through most of our Jr High years. So thank you Cathy, I really needed to laugh right then, and that did the trick.)
P.P.S. That Girl, if you were our squatters I would have let you in days before. But mostly because I like you. And also because you moved all the way from BRAZIL. With kids. These people were from across town and only had a puppy. So not the same.