Nov 22, 2009

cruise control

You know when you're young you look into the future wondering what's going to happen, where you're going to go, what you'll do, who you'll meet? It's like adventure is just waiting for you because you have so many huge events and moments to experience. You can go anywhere, you can do anything.

Sometimes the adventure goes slower than you anticipated. Like the summer I got stuck being a hotel maid because I couldn't find a decent job. Or that Astronomy class that was close to putting me in a coma, except that it counted as a physical science credit which I needed and really have no aptitude for understanding rocks. Or the time I was on strict, don't even sit up, bedrest for almost 3 months.

And sometimes the adventure seems to be heading in the wrong direction. Or maybe you thought it was going ok and then it suddenly changes and you're doing something that was never in the master plan.

But it's still there. It's still adventure.

You go to college. You get married. You move to different places. You have all of your kids.

Then what?

What adventures are left?

Some people call parenting an adventure. I don't really agree. Because you can't call up your relatives and say, "My two year old just flooded our kitchen, body slammed his sister, and oh yeah, he can successfully label the private areas of his body!!" WHOOOOOOOO." It's not like when you called and said, "I'm getting married!" or "We're pregnant....again!!"

I feel like I've hit the cruise control part of life. Every day is like the one before. No sleep, kids, work, laundry, kids, work, late to bed, no sleep; and then let's do it again. And again. And again. Sure the kids get older, we do different things. Some days are more full than others. Once in a while I get a 9 minute nap on the couch before someone screams and/or pokes me awake. On rare occassions I get out of my house to watch a movie.

But there's nothing big to look forward to anymore. No life changing events. No more babies to have, Husband and I know each other well enough that we're boring, we probably won't even move out of this stinking city. Nothing big. Nothing exciting. No more adventures.

So now I just cruise through the next five decades and then what? Is there nothing but mundane-ness left?

Can I go back? I miss adventure.


cc said...

Oh man, I think everyone must feel like this at some point, regardless of specifics. Unless you travel with your husband and family around the world all the time, how can life not get boring?! I've been thinking about this a lot lately too. Some days when I get too close to the airport, I feel it pull at me...wanna come with me somewhere? We could just fly to New York! But Brian tells me that he'll cancel my credit card so I won't be able to get back. Why does he think that will stop me?!

Chief said...

I think this happens to me alot. My grandmothers voice always comes to mind as she tells me not to wish these years away. They are the best of your life.

Rocketgirl said...

I'm tempted to take this entry and copy and paste it into my log and say I wrote it. One, beacuse I'm lazy, but two, because you are so.dead.on. Except we have to keep moving because Husband keeps getting laid off, but really, where's the "I'm getting MARRIED!!!" and all that in life? Husband just bought himself a motorsycle... I think that was his way of trying to not be bored? I feel you, girlfriend.

wonder woman said...

I so know what you mean. No more drama. Not much to look forward to. No more fun or cool.

Wish I had a solution for ya.

RhondaLue said...

oh Girrrrrrl you need to do something for YOU. something exciting that gets your blood pumping. Something like CAMPING! (j/k I'm remember an old post you did about that!)

But really! You need to go take a class that interests you, either at the local community college, or a kitchen store where they offer cooking classes, or something that floats your boat..where ever it's offered-GO. DO IT!

Or take up an old hobby! I really love decorating or doing something nice in my home so if I'm feeling ick it helps me to paint (ok, I actually hate that part) but once that's done I love putting things back together and making it prettier than it was before.

Or you need to plan a girls weekend away every few months or something like that. You MUST have something to look forward to or life is just too blah!

Emmy said...

Sounds like it is time for a new hobby.
But yes, this stage often does feel like the same day in and day out

R Max said...

One of my friends recently said that she has more fun as a grown up than she ever did as a teenager. I agree! There are so many new things to try! So many places to see and enjoy! My next adventure is to make gingerbread cookies... never have done it before!

Kimberly said...

Oh how well I know that feeling! I'm going to go skydiving the second my kiddos are raised (hubby says I have to wait until then). I figure if the future doesn't hold adventure for me I'll have to make some up as I go along.

Cynthia said...

You are decribing the EXACT thing I've been blogging about off and on for the last year. I call it a "Mid Mom Crisis". This thing comes when your done having kids (usually) but the kids still aren't grown. Those of us with goal-oriented personalities tend to get DISORIENTED when the big stuff is decided.

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about.

Oh- and I was referred over here from Lisa's blog. I came to check out the preemie twin thing (I'm the Mom of boy/girl micro-preemies too) and see how they are doing. Then I got rather interested in your other posts. Hope it's okay for me to comment.