Aug 2, 2009

why I have hairy ankles

I have a tub spider. It likes to cling to the side of the tub and just wait for me to come in, completely unsuspecting, to jump out and attack me...or crawl across the tub. Whatever.

But I never scream. Because I'm brave.

Of course, I have to wash it down the drain before ever thinking about setting a toe in that tub. Because yikes - I've seen "Arachnophobia."

You know the scene where the girl is in the shower and the spider drops down and can't get a grip through the soapy bubbles so it slides all the way down her naked body and you almost see obscene parts?

I know what tub spiders are like.

(Since that movie is clearly the code for all spiders of all kinds to follow - I'm sure they were all really ticked when it was made, because it gave away all of their secret spidey actions to get us humans.)

The scariest part is that I never really know if the spider is gone. Because even though I've washed that thing down the drain multiple times, he always comes back. To spook me with his almost scream inducing tub crawl.

So even when I've just washed him down the drain, and dumped some extra water in there even though he disappeared almost a minute ago, I feel like I can't really shower normally. Because what if I turn my back to the drain and the spider crawls out to take advantage of me not being able to see it? And heaven forbid if I have to shave my legs. Because that not only entails turning my back to the drain, but also bending over to shave my ankles. And that's just asking for a big spider bite on the tush.

It's really creepy, I tell you.


Chief said...

Why don't you squish him? I would totally drown him in bleach or have one of the boys smash him like a pancake.

Jillybean said...

I washed one of those down the drain just yesterday.
Today, there were two more in it's place.

I think they get into the pipes and breed.

Emmy said...

I always think that about bugs I flush down the toliet.. I just know they are going to make it back up somehow.

Rachel Sue said...

Ew. I hate spiders in the bathtub. To the point where I check to see if there are any in there, then shake the curtains to make sure none fall out before I even turn on the water. At which point I get one of my husband's shoes (because they are bigger) and squash it and THEN wash it down the drain. Because I don't trust it just to drown.

I have issues. Can you tell?

annie valentine said...

I kill spiders with my fingers.