May 12, 2009

one time when my ear got really wet

Another post from my past. This one's a gem - something truly embarrassing. Except that I won't have to see any of your faces while you read about my naivety, and therefore I don't feel the least bit disinclined to post it.

When I went to college I was very, wholly, extremely naive. It's a wonder I survived on my own really. I was 18, and even though I thought I knew what was going on, I was a numbskull (probably a common characteristic of 18 year olds released into freedom.)

A couple months into this new life my roommate wanted to visit a boy. I had met this boy and his roommate a few days prior, so I was invited along. We also took our quiet, well behaved roommate with us because we needed someone to drive.

Keep in mind that I did not go to a church school (ie. Ricks or BYU) and therefore had no rules to break - because, even at 18, I knew that rules and I don't go so well together. Except that up to that point my idea of rebellion was staying out an hour past curfew while playing Uno in the basements of my churchy friends. Clearly, I wasn't very wild. (Aside from the present, where I'm seriously considering wearing flipflops and a sweatshirt to Enrichment tonight, just for shock value....I've come a long way.)

We arrive at the boys' apartment and my instigating roommate immediately disappears with her guy to "do homework" in the back room. This left quiet roommate and myself in the living room with his roommate -ok he needs a name, this is getting confusing. Let's call this guy Conrad, not because that was his name, but because I cannot for any amount of thought recall what his name actually was.

It was rather late at night (remember, no rules) and my quiet roommate falls asleep on the floor. Or feigns sleep - to this day I am not sure. Conrad and I were watching tv, sitting next to each other on the floor.

I think he commented on my amount of earrings, or my hair, or something. I don't know. Because what I really remember is that suddenly his tongue was IN. MY. EAR.

Yeah, he probably thought he was a smooth one. Too bad he tried this particular trick on someone so stupidly naive as myself, because as he was making out with my lobe, I sat there thinking, "Ummmmm, his tongue is in my ear, what am I supposed to do now? Oh gosh, that's really wet. Eeeew."

But he was a persistent one and kept it up. I think he was expecting something. Not that I was aware of it at the time. Because at that time I couldn't get over the fact that my ear was dripping with saliva and I kept taking furtive glances at sleeping, well behaved, roommate to see if she was witnessing this. Because you know, she could have been feigning sleep.

I'm not really sure what happened after that. Although I do remember some more quiet tv watching until my other roommate was done with her "homework."

Looking back I'm really curious to what was going through his mind after he gave up. Because all I could think of then was if it would be rude to wipe the spit out of my ear.


That Girl in Brazil said...

I might just take a picture of my face and send it to you. It was THAT GOOD.

What I wouldn't give to hear what he was thinking right then!!!

(And do tell - how did you treat him afterwards?!)

Rachel said...

Ewww. *still giggling* Naivity aside, didn't ir gross you out enough to like run away screaming? because seriously . . . ewwwwwww.

Barbaloot said...

Ew Ew Ew! I would've turned to kiss him just to get the tongue out of my ear!

RhondaLue said...

I don't know a soul that likes a tongue in their ear. Not only is it nasty feeling (I can't even stand a damp ear after a shower so out come the qtips!!) but it's super gross. :shudder:

wonder woman said...

Ah, to be naive again.....

Once I had a guy bite my shoulder. He was all, "I bet you've never been bit before."

He's now my brother-in-law.