Jan 26, 2009

not being chopped up and star kissings

So I was reading about Jen's first kiss under the stars and I was thinking, "Hey I kissed a guy under the stars once....or twice...OH WAIT, three times. Wow, I'm easy." And then I remembered that there really aren't that many guys that I have kissed and so it doesn't even sound impressive (or easy) in my mind anymore.

Two of those star kissings were actually quite lovely (one was with my husband, so it's all sappy and boring.) But there is one that could use a little bloggy attention. So here you go:

When I was in high school I worked at McDonald's. And there was a guy who also worked at McDonald's who had a crush on my sister....who also worked at McDonald's. Clearly McDonald's was THE place to work in my hometown....or we were all geeks. I'm not really sure (ok, I am sure we were all geeks, but I have obviously grown past that....right? RIGHT?!!)

My sister didn't like this McDonald working guy - she said he was a geek. WHAT? But it turns out he was actually a lot of fun, so when she turned him down on dates I went instead. It was lovely in a "I know you're not interested in me, so there is absolutely no pressure" sort of way. And also, he was cool. My sister has high standards (she just needs to settle down with a nice geek like the rest of us.)

So then McDonald's guy went on an LDS mission. And I wrote to him - because a girl in high school cannot have too many non-commital missionary pen pals. Which is why I also started writing to one of his companions. Even though McDonald guy kept saying, "He's crazy, don't do it!!!"

Fast forward - I go to college. My first semester. And I hear from companion of McDonald's guy - which is a very confusing name, so I'll just tell you what my roommates and I nicknamed him: "Psycho." (Totally the truth - I even wrote a song about this.)

Apparently Psycho was home from his mission. In California. And I was in St George Utah, which sounds like a safe distance to keep up a casual relationship, right? But get this: Psycho is driving with his brother....cousin....random stranger? to Utah to do....something....and wants to go out on a date with me while he's in town. We all thought it was a bit weird, and way too much effort on his part, but I said yes anyway.

Right now I should mention, when dressed properly, Psycho was very attractive. Which, in my first semester of college maturity level, had something to do with my decision to date him, aside from the ludicrous excuse to drive through two states to get here. But I had promised myself, and possibly a few roommates, that I would NOT like him. Because he was, after all, psycho.

The date started early. But he had just driven a long time, so I figured I owed him some time.

We went to a park, to swing. TO SWING. Really. So we swung a little and talked and I was in a very rigid, "I will be nice to you, but I will NOT like you" mood. Because, we were swinging, on a date, that he drove an entire day to get to.

Then we had dinner at Denny's. Very magically romantic, no? But he was paying, and I never (to this day) will turn down a free dinner. And all during dinner I kept my rigidity. I refused to like him.

Then we drove around, and he tried to convince me that he would "make me like him." Which was a little controlling, and kind of weird, and at one point I wondered if I still refused him that he might possibly chop me into little pieces and dump me in the desert.

So we drove some more, and then it got dark. And then he started driving up to the top of the red plateau thingies there. I'm so technical, I know, and I always remember names of places and what not. All you really need to know is that it was dark, I was on a date with a guy I didn't really know, who drove from northern California under questionable circumstances, and we were going somewhere very secluded.

It was a bit scary.

We pulled off the road at a point overlooking the city. I'm sure there was a handy little ledge nearby to push me over. No chopping necessary.

Instead, he turned on his car radio and asked me to dance....I think. Mainly it just involved standing close together with him still trying to convince me to like him. And keeping in mind that it was my first semester of college and I was still an idiot (I'm way more mature now) and because I hadn't been chopped up or thrown over a cliff, I kissed him. Or rather he kissed me, and I freely handed over my lips.

And then we kissed some more. And then....we kissed some more.

But we still called him Psycho. Because after he went home, he stalked me from two states away. Keeping very close tabs on me, and trying to pry any and every bit of personal information from me through 3 hour phone conversations.

And then he flew out to see me on New Years Eve, where we had the "let's just be friends...in a very non-stalking-ish sort of way, ok?" conversation. Which was planned, but a little hard because we also went shopping and I picked out a great pair of jeans that looked totally fab on him, and I was still really immature.

And then he still tried to phone-stalk me (I'm so glad I didn't have a cell phone back in those days) until I finally got a boyfriend who was older...and happened to know Kung Fu.

So there you have it. One of my kissed under the stars stories. Let me know if you ever want to hear the song - it's a classic.


Jen said...

We DEFINITELY want to hear the song! And wow - all that kissing in your FIRST semester? I'm so jealous. You must have had the right stamp.

Barbaloot said...

I'm with Jen---let's hear the song!!
And I think it was tremendously nice of you to help him buy a pair of nice jeans even if you were just friends:)

wonder woman said...

What is it about those non-commital missionaries that make all 18 yo girls want to write them?!?! I knew a missionary and our "relationship" could've ended up very much like this one. Good looking but psycho. We're actually facebook friends now. Weird.

And sometimes it's honestly scary to remember how immature and freakin' STUPID we were. I also went with a boy I barely knew to a secluded place -- the sand dunes. Stupid stupid stupid.

RhondaLue said...

Psycho is scary man. Hope those kisses were at least good! ;)

I wanna hear the song too.

That Girl in Brazil said...

I think you should post a video of yourself SINGING this song.

And yeah - glad there was no chopping.

LisAway said...

I just could not get enough of the references to being cut in pieces that you sprinkled throughout this story. Thanks so much for that.

Don't you ever wonder what could have happened with him if you'd given him a chance? I mean, come ON. He was very attractive when dressed properly.

Jaron and Michelle said...

Wow! Does Jeremy read your blog?! I remember that shopping trip actually! I was like marry him he's rich! ha ha

Claire said...

i'm glad you kissed him, COs i would have too. I kissed boys all the time. I enjoyed it. I'm not going to lie. But after I'd kissed them once, then they got the brush off. Why keep kissing one guy when there were plenty more out there to kiss?!

I fully accept that i'm a bit... as you put it.... easy. or I was...

I do LOVE to kiss.....

wendy said...

Well of course we need to hear the song. What happened to Psycho?? It reminded me of my story about "first loves" on my blog. Sheeesh, it is amazing we get through life and romance without to many scars. And I am ever so glad he didn't chop you into tiny pieces or throw you off the red plateau thingy. Otherwise you'd be a CSI episode

My Diary said...

I think we should kiss everyone hot if we are single and they are willing. Kissing is way to fun to not do it even if they are psycho.

Natalie said...

Flipping hilarious! You have no idea how many Mr. Psycho's I've had similiar stories with (back in the day, of course.) I was stupider than you though 'cause I never knew they were psycho at the time. All of my friends & family always told me that they were crazy, but I just argued that they were "misunderstood". Wow! I was naive!