Feb 23, 2013

dear pinterest, you're a jerk

I have beef with pinterest.  I mean, I LIKE pinterest, and if you check you'll see that I have about 500 boards and 7 million pins, but lately it's just gotten annoying.  I feel a little like it's trying to boss me around, or make me feel guilty, or judge me from a distance.

For example, according to pinterest:

We should tell our girls 25 certain things before they turn ten, because there is no possible way they can live to age 11 without it.

If you didn't take certain wedding photos you shouldn't breath the same air as the rest of us.

Your living room should have at least one black and white photo collage wall, and if you don't have anything with chevron in your house you might as well live in a cardboard box.

There are 17 specific things that moms MUST do with sons because "they are SO important" and no one would know how to raise a son without this amazing pin. (How did our ancestors cope?)

You can feed your entire extended family for 7 years with $100 worth of groceries and a crockpot.  And it's all completely healthy.

Never ever "waste" your toilet paper rolls, because the fact that it has already held the toilet paper and can be easily recycled is just not enough.

Doing your hair in a unique and different way every single day is the ONLY way to have hair if you care at all about being a human being.

Choose one of 47 different recipes for homemade laundry detergent, body wash, febreeze, deodorant, toothpaste, toe jam remover, cough syrup, and motor oil.

You should love your abs more than any kind of food or you're just a disgusting lard butted waste of space.

When introducing a new baby to older siblings you should put lots of effort into it for the kids' sakes, because pushing a human being out of your body wasn't enough work.

You should never ingest anything that's not organic/vegan/home grown, unless of course it's named "better than sex" anything, or my personal favorite "crack" whatever.  (Just because its your favorite recipe doesn't mean you should call it "crack bread" or "crack brownies" or "crack scrambled eggs" - that is just stupid.  And extremely ignorant.)

A baby cannot possibly sleep in a boring regular room - if the nursery is not color coordinated, sophisticated, and somehow turn the closet into something completely useless, then you are doing it wrong and your baby will suffer horribly.

There are more, many many more, but all of these things probably won't stop me from participating in the pinning frenzy, even if they sometimes make me want to leave snide comments on random people's boards.  However I am going to start caring a whole lot less about how my house looks, and what I do (or do not do) with my kids, and if I toss toilet paper rolls without even a smidgen of guilt.

So go ahead Pinterest and judge me from afar.  I pretty much don't care.


Rachel Ward said...


And hahahahahahahaha.

Jennie said...

Ahhhahahhahaha this is the epitome of everything I hate about Pinterest. Keep on keepin' on, lady! We'll get through this together.

Loralee said...

Boy, am I ever glad I haven't gotten into the craze!

elesa said...

You've really struck a chord. I really don't know how to write this comment without sounding weird. Amen was what I wanted to say, but someone already did so I tried to come up with something else it isn't working out for me. This is my third attempt. I now give up.