Skip to main content

stuff I found from college

We're moving to a new house.  Again.  Because that's what we do.  For the 10th time in 10.5 years of marriage.  IT'S LOTS OF FUN.  Except that it's totally not.

However

while we were packing the office tonight we found this old notebook of mine from college.  Most of it was filled with notes from my psychology class, but then I flipped to the back where I discovered some amazing gems of wisdom divined by myself and my hilarious roommates. 

My husband does not appreciate these gems, so I will share them with you.  (Who I'm sure will see them for the genius that they are.)

"Some people think that living in a socially obligated world brings on the destruction of segmented earth worms."

"Draw 4 cards in Uno always make me cry."

"I've never seen a purple cow, I never hope to see one.  But I can tell you anyhow, missed opportunities resemble bacon bits."

"One adjective evening, you were verb-ing outside when an adjective guy verb-ed by.  In passing he said, "phrase" to you.  In reply you adjective-ly said, "phrase".  So, you both verb-ed off into the sunset.  The end."

"Contrary to popular belief, penguins do not emit noxious fumes during winter solstice."

"Never the less, she left the chicken coop and ate small mammals with children, after living in a puddle full of sludge."

"If you hate the sensation of burning toe fungus, then what are you even living for?"

"Don't fight the reality of wild ducks shooting out of your nose."

"Some people say that the abominable snowman causes brain damage, but what the heck is up with Darla?"

"Magnifico, the great magician, doesn't like yellow fungi because I hate boys."

"Two lips like to take 10 minutes to cause retinal damage with a laser."

"I took two grandmas with cheese on the side."

AREN'T THOSE GREAT?!!! 

I mean, it totally makes me look like my roommates and I just sat around smoking pot during our entire college years.  But I swear we didn't.  Because we didn't need mind altering chemicals to make us awesome. 

We just WERE.

Comments

Rachel Sue saidā€¦
I love finding stuff from college. High School is even better.

Bountiful?

Also, what time on Friday?
elesa saidā€¦
I fought the reality of wild ducks flying out of my nose for a long time and believe me, it has caused me nothing but heartache!
heather saidā€¦
I'm just wondering, did people pay to be your roommate? I think I would have.

Popular posts from this blog

hair loss and mourning

I like Monkey's hair long.  I tried to grow out Opie's hair when he was younger, but he has always had a tremendously large head, and he also has very thick wavy hair.  You pair those two together, throw in some long locks, and you've got yourself a genuinely bonified giant-head child.  So I've learned my lesson: keep Opie's hair short. But Monkey's hair?  It's so soft, and straight (our only straight-haired child) and super super cute when it's long.  SUPER CUTE.  (Agree with me - it's my blog.)  But not many people liked the whole long hair thing.  I kept having to threaten various family members with things like, "If I come back to find him with short hair I will DISOWN you, run away with my kids and you will never hear from us again.  EVER."  (Husband was particularly sensitive to this threat.) However, I did say that once random strangers started referring to him as a girl, I would consider cutting it.  And even though ...

The Barrel giveaway : Sea and Asters

 As mentioned in this month's issue of The Barrel I'm giving away something from Sea and Asters ! These are the coolest plants.  EVER.  They're low maintenance and look mega-awesome.  I'm totally getting one for myself....as soon as I decide which ONE it is that I love.  (Seeing as they're all uber-mega-awesome, I'm having a hard time deciding on a favorite.) The winner of this giveaway will receive a Hanging Globe Terrarium (worth $25) from Sea and Aster's etsy shop. This giveaway is open to US residents only.  All giveaways associated with The Barrel end on March 15th at 11:59 PM MT. Here's how to enter: 1- For ONE entry: visit Sea and Aster's Etsy shop then leave a comment on this post about which is your favorite product. 2- For another ONE entry you can "heart" Sea and Aster's Etsy shop . (Leave a separate comment telling me that you "hearted" them.) 3- For ONE more entry you can subscribe to The Barrel...

yeeeeeeee ha

We took the kids to a rodeo today.  In my mind I knew I wanted to take them for the experience, but also I was thinking:  rodeo=country western torture. I've been to a few rodeos before.  The small town next to the small town where I grew up had one every summer.  It was always hot and super dusty, and everyone got to sit on rickety-ish old stadium benches that didn't have backs.  Also, you had to make sure you didn't wear flip flops, because they could fall under the benches and get trampled by the waiting bulls.  (Seriously, there were bulls below us once - I was like 9, it scared the poop out of me, I thought my shoes were goners.) But the rodeo today?  SUPER AWESOME.  I would bet money that I had a better time than my kids did.  (And they didn't even play that much country music, which is great, because I think that would have ruined the whole thing for me.) First of all, it was indoors.  And at noon.  And had special fam...