Sep 26, 2012

stuff I found from college

We're moving to a new house.  Again.  Because that's what we do.  For the 10th time in 10.5 years of marriage.  IT'S LOTS OF FUN.  Except that it's totally not.

However

while we were packing the office tonight we found this old notebook of mine from college.  Most of it was filled with notes from my psychology class, but then I flipped to the back where I discovered some amazing gems of wisdom divined by myself and my hilarious roommates. 

My husband does not appreciate these gems, so I will share them with you.  (Who I'm sure will see them for the genius that they are.)

"Some people think that living in a socially obligated world brings on the destruction of segmented earth worms."

"Draw 4 cards in Uno always make me cry."

"I've never seen a purple cow, I never hope to see one.  But I can tell you anyhow, missed opportunities resemble bacon bits."

"One adjective evening, you were verb-ing outside when an adjective guy verb-ed by.  In passing he said, "phrase" to you.  In reply you adjective-ly said, "phrase".  So, you both verb-ed off into the sunset.  The end."

"Contrary to popular belief, penguins do not emit noxious fumes during winter solstice."

"Never the less, she left the chicken coop and ate small mammals with children, after living in a puddle full of sludge."

"If you hate the sensation of burning toe fungus, then what are you even living for?"

"Don't fight the reality of wild ducks shooting out of your nose."

"Some people say that the abominable snowman causes brain damage, but what the heck is up with Darla?"

"Magnifico, the great magician, doesn't like yellow fungi because I hate boys."

"Two lips like to take 10 minutes to cause retinal damage with a laser."

"I took two grandmas with cheese on the side."

AREN'T THOSE GREAT?!!! 

I mean, it totally makes me look like my roommates and I just sat around smoking pot during our entire college years.  But I swear we didn't.  Because we didn't need mind altering chemicals to make us awesome. 

We just WERE.

3 comments:

Rachel Ward said...

I love finding stuff from college. High School is even better.

Bountiful?

Also, what time on Friday?

elesa said...

I fought the reality of wild ducks flying out of my nose for a long time and believe me, it has caused me nothing but heartache!

heather said...

I'm just wondering, did people pay to be your roommate? I think I would have.