Jun 10, 2011

the great rental house debacle

or more aptly titled: We Can't Find a Rental Because I'm kind of a Brat.

I'm getting really tired of this whole moving thing.  Anyone else getting sick of me talking about this whole moving thing?

Anyone?

(yeah, I think I see a few hands in the back)

But it's pretty much on my mind ALL THE TIME so I can't help but talk about it.

"Moving Plan A" involved the actual process of packing up and leaving this weekend, followed by the moving into of an awesome rental house where we'd have all the household luxuries that we currently enjoy.

Then we realized our timing kind of stunk, and we thought, "Maybe we should move at the end of June, because that will give us more time to find this awesome rental house and also IT'S SO MUCH FUN BEING A SINGLE PARENT."  Ok, that last part is a complete lie.  No one ever said that.  Also, I am not a good parent.  Under normal circumstances I can slide right under the parenting bar and pass with a D.  But single parenting?  It's moved way beyond horrible.

So "Moving Plan B" involved us packing up to leave at the end of June, followed by the moving into of an awesome rental house where we'd have all the household luxuries that we currently enjoy.

Except this awesome rental house doesn't seem to exist.  At least not within our budget.

And I get kind of bratty about it because there are just certain things I've really gotten used to that I don't want to give up.  Such as:

1. The Master Bathroom.  Yes, people live without master bathrooms all over the world.  Even I lived without a master bathroom for the majority of my own life.  HOWEVER, I have had the luxury of a master bathroom for about 6 years and I refuse the not having of a master bathroom.  That is how it is.  Because I should have every right to throw my underwear and used towels and girly-time packages all over the bathroom without fear of discovery by house guests and/or the children.

2. A fenced yard.  My kids are finally of an appropriate age that this was going to be the summer of "just go outside and play and leave me alone already".  But my kids are also insane and without a fence they must be watched as sternly as one watches over the last Krispy Kreme doughnut that they called dibs on but know will be snatched away if they take their eyes off of it for more than 3/4 of a second. A fence is important.  As is the yard.  (Which some houses are actually lacking, as unamerican as that may sound.)

3. Space.  As in, please don't make me cram my family of 6 into 900 square feet or there will be massive repercussions and they will all probably be dealt upon you.  THE END.

4. A good neighborhood school.  Because, even though I do kind of suck at this whole parenting thing, I insist upon a good education for my children, so this should actually be number one on my list, but I thought it was kind of boring so I'm throwing it here at the end instead.

I'm not really asking for that much.  I mean, we have all of that HERE.  So is it that horrible to expect it THERE?  I certainly think I'm being beyond reasonable.  Unfortunately the rental housing options do not agree.

Speaking of rental housing options, I have learned a few words in which to avoid.  In case you ever find yourself needing to know these words, they are:

1. COZY what they meant to say was REALLY TINY.
2. COTTAGE because they mean it, and whereas I have the proper disposition I am, in fact, NOT the witch in the story of Hansel and Gretel.
3. CHARMING "c" words should just be avoided altogether.
4. LET THE PICTURES SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES! because putting the description into words is just going to scare you away, whereas we can always take minimal pictures that only highlight the few decent places in the house to fool you into showing interest.

So maybe we should show another raise of hands - who's sick of me talking about moving now?

Everyone?

That's what I thought.

6 comments:

Rachel Sue said...

Okay, yes. I know I told you Jordan School district is kind of crap, but our elementary school is actually pretty awesome. So COME LIVE BY ME. And there's a charter school close by. And rent is cheaper on the west side. Have I succeeded in convincing you? Or am I just annoying?

LisAway said...

Oh my. I've forgotten about how I love house shopping. Actually, there are a lot of things I actually do like about it, but that was before we moved into this relatively large house (went from a 750 sq. ft. apartment to this 2000 sq. ft. slightly attached house (it's connected on less than half of one outer wall) Going from here to another place (we would definitely downsize) would/will be very, very hard...

I wish you the best. Maybe the perfect place for you will magically appear very, very soon. I really hope so. If not, move to Poland. (our place is $720/mo which sounds good to me--in American terms-- but I have no idea how much rent is in the States these days...)

Cynthia said...

You'll find something good. This is a great time to rent because of excess inventory. I wonder if you could contact any of the banks who have 'bank owned property' to find a rental? Maybe you could pick up something good and cheap that way?

Oh- and here's a tip we learned from having been a landlord for our own house while we were away for a year. Never rent your house to someone whose car isn't spotless. Of course, the joke is that my own BIL (house manager) wouldn't have rented my own home to me.

Melanie Jacobson said...

Man, it sounds like you're trying to rent in California.

Finding houses to rent or buy is not fun. Good luck! I wish we drank. I'd offer to buy you a shot of tequila.

annie valentine said...

Oh yeah. We're giving up a master bathroom (even though ours is super tiny and only has a shower and toilet IT STILL COUNTS), fenced yard, and carpeting.

One more move after this and I'm never going anywhere again.

The Empress said...

Good luck.

It can be fun, but also disappointing.

Just don't give up.

Came over b/c one of the FUNNIEST ladies on the planet thinks you're funny: Pulsipher P's.

So, yeah, you are funny.

Glad she pointed me over here.