Feb 12, 2011

vomit and prayer

You know, kids should really come with a vomit early warning system.  Maybe something like a blaring siren and then a 30 second electronic countdown.  And you should be able to choose the voice of the countdown too.  Like if you want the standard female robot voice, great.  Or you could upgrade to the premium vomit early warning system that comes with the option of attractive English male accent or Looney Tunes "dropping anvil" sound effects.  I would totally pay for the upgrade - but I'd even be happy with the standard warning system - IF ONLY THEY HAD ONE.

So, the other day, I was making my kids clean their rooms.  Which actually happens a lot here, even though my kids' reactions would say otherwise.  They always act like this whole room cleaning thing is a new concept and that I'm a humongous jerk to make them do it.  Or they pull the, "you want us to clean it AGAIN?!!" and I say, "well, did it get dirty AGAIN?"  and they're like, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Because getting them to clean anything around here evokes much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

So, back to the other day, specifically, I bribed them to clean their rooms.  I said that whomever could clean the fastest could go to the dollar store and pick something out.  But it wasn't really a real contest because the other kids make Two Bits clean about 95% of everything around here, so we all knew who was going to win. 

Opie had to freak out about it anyway, because a trip to the dollar store, OH BOY.  But after a good amount of wailing he decided to change strategies and asked me, "If I pray, will Heavenly Father help me clean fast?"  So I told him how if he prayed he would still have to put forth effort, but that he'd probably have a little extra help in going faster, because Heavenly Father will help us when we're willing to try hard.  And then I patted him on the head and sent him off to pray thinking to myself how wonderful it was to watch his little testimony grow inside his little precious heart.

A few minutes later, Opie very excitedly came to tell me, "It's working.  I just keep saying, 'HELP ME GOD!!!' over and over while I clean and I'm going faster!!"  And then he ran back to his room to mutter his mantra of "HELP ME GOD!!" and finish making his bed.

Honestly, I should probably teach him a slightly more appropriate way to "pray" but, um, for now, we're just going to go with it.  He is only 6.  And there's that whole testimony heart thing.  Plus, the whole situation had me laughing for like half an hour, and then again when I told Husband.  And right now. And probably later, when I reread this post in 5 years.

And I would think of a better way to end this post - maybe something about praying for vomit, or I don't know, I could use the phrase "toss your cookies", but sorry, I can't.  Because I have another warning-less child vomiting in bed.  (Do you think if I pray Heavenly Father will clean it up for me?)


LisAway said...

Oh, that is FUNNY. What a pious little boy you're raising! And the testimony and heart sentence? LOVED THAT. You're such a great mom. :)

And my kids DO have an "alarm". If their lips are white they will throw up within 1-3 minutes. Doesn't happen often though, but when it does it's in the toilet. I wish I could figure out how to make this work for everyone. And then get rich off it. (also, my kids only throw up if they're sick, not just randomly as some kids do, I think, so maybe that's why I always know when it's going to happen. . .)

Barbaloot said...

You should pray that your husband will clean it up instead:)

Jen said...

I agree that we need that warning system. My first baby actually did make a little hiccuping noise before she projectile spit up, and so like twice I was able to jump up and run to the bathroom sink, and she made it in there. I wished I always had that prescience.

You should win an award for your awesome teaching of faithful principles!

Sorry for the vomit in your house. No fun whatsoever.

Wonder Woman said...

This is HILARIOUS. I can just picture my 6-year-old saying the same thing and I'm cracking up.

I'm gonna have to watch for that white lip thing Lisa mentioned.

T said...

oh, perhaps I should teach my 6 yr old to pray for help cleaning... it certainly isn't happening any other way!

out of 5 kids - 4 manage to make it to the toilet 99.9% of the time before puking... the one who doesn't... he's 15. yeah... just getting old enough to clean it up himself I think.

Rachel Sue said...

Oh, goodness. That was hilarious. I'm still giggling while I picture a little boy praising God like a preacher. Oh, that is funny.

elesa said...

I come with a vomit early warning system. Sometimes I will have to sit in front of the toilet for an hour before I finally puke. So, yeah, too bad that kids don't get to do that.

Loralee and the gang... said...

I hate it when my kids vomit. And I hate it when I have to make them clean their rooms!

Melanie Jacobson said...

My #2 child vomits like other people sneeze. Only now (at three) he knows when it's coming and tells us. It's something, I guess.