Nov 17, 2010

post surgery

I didn't snore this time. 

You know how for my last eye surgery I was really worried about doing something horribly embarrassing?   But then I just snored the whole time? 

I don't remember much during that surgery other than thinking, "I'm snoring.  I need to stop snoring.  Why can't I stop myself from snoring?"  The rest of the surgery - I dunno?  Don't remember a thing.

This time though?  I remember every detail. 

(Like how it took 5 tries to get my IV in and so my forearms are now covered in bruises, and it's a good thing I'm not needle-shy.  But I wasn't drugged for that part, so I don't think it really counts in the whole "what I remembered this time versus last time" category.)

The anesthesiologist (I hate spelling that word - it's an impossible word to spell, I tell you) gave me the same drugs as I had for the first surgery.  But then when my Dr was like, "Ok, let's do this,"  I was like, "WOOOOOOOOAH, I'm still really aware over here!  Shouldn't I be snoring by now?!!!!"

But apparently nobody cared too much, because they did the surgery anyway.  It didn't hurt and it's not like I could see what was going on.  But when you feel something tugging on your eyeball and then you hear someone say, "Ok, clip this right here"  IT'S TOTALLY FREAKY.

Also, my Dr took a break from eyeball clipping 3 times to answer calls on his cell phone.  Seriously.  (See how I'm not just being sensitive or dramatic when I say that he's sort of a jerk?  What kind of Dr answers calls DURING surgery?)

Besides the calls I also got to hear about the time that my Dr was in Vegas at some expensive restaurant/costume party and he bumped into Christina Aguilera on the way to the rest room.  She was dressed as a nurse - white uniform, big red cross.  And then my Dr saw the "most amazing" costume he's ever seen.  It was made entirely of flowers, and he made a point of telling everyone (multiple times) that he looked really close and didn't see a scrap of fabric anywhere - the whole thing was just flowers.  It was an amazing FLOWER BIKINI.  And also the woman wearing it was beautiful and smelled good.  (Yes, my Dr is married.  Pretty sure his wife wasn't at this party.)

Also there was a short conversation about the band Lover Boy.

So yeah.  Second surgery - way more freaky and.......informative?

Up side though - my Dr didn't use the evil eye dilating drops that he used last time.  The dilation is supposed to wear off after like 10 hours.  It took my mutant pupil about 10 days to get back to normal size.  (My sister and I have mutant pupils that love being dilated and therefore don't usually even require eyedrops to do the job.)  And if you've ever had a fully dilated pupil for 10 days, you'll know why I referred to myself as having vampire eye.  So phew, no vampirical pupil traits this time around.

And another major up side: PERCOCET.

I pretty much decided I wasn't walking out of the surgery center without some kind of pain killer. 

Have I ever mentioned my love of pain killers?  Because I really really love them.  It's the only reason I can even look at this computer screen long enough to write a blog post about how much I love them. 

So all in all, everything eyeball related is going well.  And despite having been more freaked out during the actual surgery I'm recovering at a pace about 3 times faster than before, which isn't too shabby.


Kristina P. said...

Next thing you know, you will be shooting up heroin!

cc said...

I hope the recovery is better this time. Ya know, less glass in the eye feeling and all.

I've been meaning to call and see how you're doing, but it's been so crazy trying to get ready to go on a trip with 4 kids! And with them all home? Yikes. Can I call you from the road tomorrow?

LisAway said...

What an adventure!! I wish I hadn't read about the eyeball tugging and clipping. Eeek. But I love how you can make such things fun to read. You're crazy like that.

Your doctor sounds like a gem. (I guess all that matters is that he did a good job fixing your eye, though, right? At least to you/me. We can do nothing for his wife/co-workers.)

Barbaloot said...

Um, I'm pretty sure I hate your doctor.

Glad recovery is going better. Hope you're feeling okay!

Heather said...

Good to hear you're doing well. Sorry your eye doc is a douche. :-D

Heidi said...

Hilarious! And yay for drugs!

Alison Wonderland said...

Yeah, your doctor sounds like a real winner. But misogynistic tendencies aside, that's what surgery's like for those of us doing it (rather than having it) just chatting about whatever comes up. It's better when the patient is asleep.

Caroline said...

Nice. and yay for sight!

Jen said...

What a bumface doctor! My epidural guy with my first baby was a cell phone dork, too. I wanted to slap him. Glad at least you got something good out of it.

My Life as a Real House Wife said...

Your doctor sucks! He is a pooh face!
I gave you the stylish blogger award.

Vanessa said...

Oh my... eye surgeries suckkk!! I've had two cornea transplants myself and I must say... no bueno!! The upside however is that I can now see, so I'd say thats pretty positive!

Good luck on the recovery!!