Skip to main content

post surgery

I didn't snore this time. 

You know how for my last eye surgery I was really worried about doing something horribly embarrassing?   But then I just snored the whole time? 

I don't remember much during that surgery other than thinking, "I'm snoring.  I need to stop snoring.  Why can't I stop myself from snoring?"  The rest of the surgery - I dunno?  Don't remember a thing.

This time though?  I remember every detail. 

(Like how it took 5 tries to get my IV in and so my forearms are now covered in bruises, and it's a good thing I'm not needle-shy.  But I wasn't drugged for that part, so I don't think it really counts in the whole "what I remembered this time versus last time" category.)

The anesthesiologist (I hate spelling that word - it's an impossible word to spell, I tell you) gave me the same drugs as I had for the first surgery.  But then when my Dr was like, "Ok, let's do this,"  I was like, "WOOOOOOOOAH, I'm still really aware over here!  Shouldn't I be snoring by now?!!!!"

But apparently nobody cared too much, because they did the surgery anyway.  It didn't hurt and it's not like I could see what was going on.  But when you feel something tugging on your eyeball and then you hear someone say, "Ok, clip this right here"  IT'S TOTALLY FREAKY.

Also, my Dr took a break from eyeball clipping 3 times to answer calls on his cell phone.  Seriously.  (See how I'm not just being sensitive or dramatic when I say that he's sort of a jerk?  What kind of Dr answers calls DURING surgery?)

Besides the calls I also got to hear about the time that my Dr was in Vegas at some expensive restaurant/costume party and he bumped into Christina Aguilera on the way to the rest room.  She was dressed as a nurse - white uniform, big red cross.  And then my Dr saw the "most amazing" costume he's ever seen.  It was made entirely of flowers, and he made a point of telling everyone (multiple times) that he looked really close and didn't see a scrap of fabric anywhere - the whole thing was just flowers.  It was an amazing FLOWER BIKINI.  And also the woman wearing it was beautiful and smelled good.  (Yes, my Dr is married.  Pretty sure his wife wasn't at this party.)

Also there was a short conversation about the band Lover Boy.

So yeah.  Second surgery - way more freaky and.......informative?

Up side though - my Dr didn't use the evil eye dilating drops that he used last time.  The dilation is supposed to wear off after like 10 hours.  It took my mutant pupil about 10 days to get back to normal size.  (My sister and I have mutant pupils that love being dilated and therefore don't usually even require eyedrops to do the job.)  And if you've ever had a fully dilated pupil for 10 days, you'll know why I referred to myself as having vampire eye.  So phew, no vampirical pupil traits this time around.

And another major up side: PERCOCET.

I pretty much decided I wasn't walking out of the surgery center without some kind of pain killer. 

Have I ever mentioned my love of pain killers?  Because I really really love them.  It's the only reason I can even look at this computer screen long enough to write a blog post about how much I love them. 

So all in all, everything eyeball related is going well.  And despite having been more freaked out during the actual surgery I'm recovering at a pace about 3 times faster than before, which isn't too shabby.

Comments

Kristina P. said…
Next thing you know, you will be shooting up heroin!
cc said…
I hope the recovery is better this time. Ya know, less glass in the eye feeling and all.

I've been meaning to call and see how you're doing, but it's been so crazy trying to get ready to go on a trip with 4 kids! And with them all home? Yikes. Can I call you from the road tomorrow?
LisAway said…
What an adventure!! I wish I hadn't read about the eyeball tugging and clipping. Eeek. But I love how you can make such things fun to read. You're crazy like that.

Your doctor sounds like a gem. (I guess all that matters is that he did a good job fixing your eye, though, right? At least to you/me. We can do nothing for his wife/co-workers.)
Barbaloot said…
Um, I'm pretty sure I hate your doctor.

Glad recovery is going better. Hope you're feeling okay!
Heather said…
Good to hear you're doing well. Sorry your eye doc is a douche. :-D
Heidi said…
Hilarious! And yay for drugs!
Yeah, your doctor sounds like a real winner. But misogynistic tendencies aside, that's what surgery's like for those of us doing it (rather than having it) just chatting about whatever comes up. It's better when the patient is asleep.
Nice. and yay for sight!
Jen said…
What a bumface doctor! My epidural guy with my first baby was a cell phone dork, too. I wanted to slap him. Glad at least you got something good out of it.
Unknown said…
Your doctor sucks! He is a pooh face!
I gave you the stylish blogger award.
Vanessa said…
Oh my... eye surgeries suckkk!! I've had two cornea transplants myself and I must say... no bueno!! The upside however is that I can now see, so I'd say thats pretty positive!

Good luck on the recovery!!

Popular posts from this blog

GIVEAWAY (of the photo Christmas card variety)

I think I just creeped out my four year old. I pulled out the, "You'd better go to bed because Santa's Elves are watching you to make sure you're being good!" routine. His eyes got big, and round, and scared. And he said, "Why would they do that?!" Also, our church building burned down yesterday. No wait, it didn't. But the alarm went off, and the entire ward just sat there in the chapel (and gym, because we have an enormous ward.) I sat there too. I don't know what everyone else was thinking, but the thought going through my head was, "Can somebody please get that alarm turned off, it is WAY TOO LOUD!!!!" Seriously, I think our ward is now 37% deafer after that. Oh, and there was no actual fire. And the first fire truck to show up was driven by one of our ward members who was on duty that day. Good times. And now, that GIVEAWAY: For procrastinators everywhere (that would include me) I'm giving away one free photo Christmas card d

little pieces of my heart will be for sale at D.I.

I have this thing about my kids clothes. The thing is, I LIKE BUYING THEM CLOTHES. I get in trouble frequently for this. It's just that the old ones get so boring after awhile. And I hate it when the really cheap clothes look like poop after washing them a couple of times. Luckily, I live in a city that has outlet stores. I love outlet stores (and Ebay!) Alot of the time you can find higher quality clothes for Walmart prices so how could I NOT buy them? It would be like wasting money for me NOT to get a couple $4 shirts at OshKosh. Right? RIGHT?!! The problem is - we have tiny closets. Miniature, puny, ridiculous, TINY closets. The other problem is - I have saved EVERYTHING. Not only are the kids' closets chuck full of stuff, but we have multiple rubbermaid bins in our garage full of baby clothes they've all grown out of. Also, we may not be having any more children. And I say "may not" because if I say "for sure not" someone will have to co

The Barrel giveaway : SNIS Handmade Leather Goods

As seen in this month's issue of The Barrel I'm giving away one leather keychain or bracelet from SNIS . Their keychains crack me up.  In a really good way.  Like, if I was to ever have a grumpy day (like every day) and I see something like that on my keychain, then I doubt I'll be able to scream at my kids as well. Also, good news!  Even those of you who don't win can get 15% off everything in their shop!  Just enter the code: THEBARREL to get the discount. If you win this giveaway you get to choose the bracelet or keychain out of SNIS's etsy shop (and they have a bunch to choose from): All giveaways associated with The Barrel end on March 15th at 11:59 PM MT. Here's how to enter: 1- For ONE entry: visit SNIS's etsy shop then leave a comment on this post about which is your favorite product. 2- For another ONE entry you can "heart" SNIS's etsy shop. (Leave a separate comment telling me that you "hearted" them.)